Monday, February 11, 2008

Ellspeth is Festive

Hi everybody! This is Ellspeth!

As my friend DangerMouse already said, Rats wants us to all get decked out in Lunar Festival outfits. Well, okay, she's not really my friend. She's just this creepy dead girl who comes to the team meetings, but the Boss says I have to be nice to her and not, you know, finish the job. Although she does bake pretty good cookies...

Well, anyway, the deal is you need to go talk to five Elders and they each give you a coin, and then you can portal to Moonglade from any capital city and turn in the coins and they give you a pretty dress! Which would be great except for this one small problem. You see, some of the elders are Night Elves, or the spirits of night elves, or something. And, well, Night Elves, they look at me like I'm some kind of mutated magic-junkie freak. Completely glossing over the fact that they're nothing but mutated moon-junkie trolls themselves! Sometimes, I just wish I could shadowbolt the whole world tree down, and dot up every one of those blue-skinned purer-than-thou retards as they fall out of the branches so that they die screaming before they hit the ocean!

Ratshag says he understands my pain, but could I please be a little more festive. Okay.

So, I really wasn't in the mood to go talk to these guys for the coins. Fortuantely, Rat's younger brother Gogmoth is a tailor, and he knows how to make the red festive dress, which I figured would look smoking hot on me. So I bought Gog some runecloth and what all, and asked him to stitch one up for me. At first he was all "Rat says not to make the dresses - everyone's got to go earn their own", which made no sense - why bother getting the pattern? So I argued and I used logic and I pleaded, but none of it worked until I worked my feminine wiles on him. It's amazing how fast some guys can become agreeable when all you do is flash your boo-

Rats are you okay? You're choking!

You're sure, hun? ... Okay.

So, where was I? Oh, yes. Gogmoth made this lovely Festive Dress for me, which I just had to try on right away. And that was so fun and festive, that I went and tried on some of the other outfits I had stuffed away in my closet. Don't I look pretty? Hard to believe I was melting faces off of ogres the day before. Okay, the oompah band one is kinda silly. But I like the purple hat, and Rat's already talked about how that nipple chain can come in handy.

Well, that's all for now.


Anonymous said...

Why do you stuff your hair in the hat when you put on the brewfest garb?

And I'm curious when you wear the festive garb do monsters act any differently?

Anonymous said...

I want to create a character in the World of Ratshag.

Gauntlet said...

What's the white dress? Is it a holiday one, or something a tailor makes?

Ratshag said...

@Sonvar - I did not "stuff" my hair! I carefully pinned it up - the whole point of this was to try out different looks, you silly boy. No, monsters don't react differently. But the shards I get when I drain their souls have an extra sparkle!

@Urthona - How sweet!

@Gauntlet - It's actually a wedding dress. And before you ask, no I'm not getting married - my last boyfriend broke up with me after I accidently melted his face. /sad warlock
I just have it because Gogmoth made a few to practice his tailoring skills.

Bell said...

I'd look at you funny because it looks like you haven't eaten in a week. Get a sandwich, girl.

That being said, getting someone to shower you with rose petals would add quite a bit to your impressive ensemble. Unfortunately, they make demons sneeze.

Suptail said...

That stupid warlock had me guard the dressing room door for her. I almost didn't get a chance to honor the Elders myself!

Festive dresses look a lot better on belfs than tauren. Bother.