Sunday, September 30, 2007

Dirty Deeds Done Daily

Working on the Netherwing Ledge is very different from how it was up in Blades Edge. Back there, you could tell the good guys (orcs and gnomes and spacegoats flitting about on wyverns and gryphons) from the bad guys (demons on the ground shooting up at us). But here, I be Under Cover. Remeber how everybody in Outland thinks he's a master of disguise, and they all wanna dress me up? Well, we're at it again. This time at least I get to look like an orc - one of them Dragonmaw types, red skin and big tusks and spines comin' out me back.

So, the way that under cover thing works is I gotta help the Dragonmaw Dudes while at the same time causing mischief when nobody's looking. So on the one hand I'm helping out in the mine and helping'em fight demons, but on the other hand I be sabotaging. Saubotaging. Saboutigang. However da fuhg ya spell it. You know what I mean.

There's this goblin mercenary in the Dragonmaw camp who's my contact on the inside. Every day he gives me some mutton to take to the peons work around the Ledge. But first (this is the saboutaginging part) I smear it with glands from fel boars and fel lizards and other fel critters. Them peons get all excited to see the food, they take a few bites, then they keel over. Sucks to be them. I'd be happy to do'em all, but the goblin says just do a dozen a so a day so as to not arouse too much suspicion. (Can't tell ya his name, it'd blow his cover. Let's just say it starts with "Y" and rhymes with Zarzill.)

Now, I got no problem doin' this. After all, they is just peons. Not like anybody's gonna miss'em. Well, maybe their mums, but not too much. But I figure this has gotta give them Alliance paladins (yeah, there's some of them workin' Under Cover on the ledge too) one of them whatchcallits, ethical dilemmas. Poison jus' ain't what a servant of da Light is supposed to be doin', but they need the pay just as bad as I do. Oh well. Sucks to be them.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Gone Fishing

Give an orc a fish, you have fed him for today.

Teach an orc to fish, he is less likely to burn your village, plunder your shiny objects, and ride off with your cattle and wimmenfolk.

All through me travels, I've seen people fishing. At the beach in Durotar. Off the docks at Booty Bay. In the streams of Terrokar Forest. Even in the sewers of Undercity (blech!). And I've always thought, ya know, that looks pretty relaxing. And ya can eat the fish too! But I had places to go and people who wouldn't pay me ta kill, so there was never any time.

But the world has slowed down a tad. Yeah, there's still fighting here and there, but mostly the evildoers and nonpayers is deep in dungeons or floating castles and ya just can't go busting into them places every day. So I gots time. I head into Orgrimmar and buy a fishing pole and start fishing.

I don't catch nuthin'.

So I goes to the trainer. "'Scuse me, Lumak, but yer fish is broken."

"What? No! You dumb orc! You no swing pole like it an axe!"

"But how else do I get'em to stop moving if I don't hit them? Works for everything else ..."

"You bad fisherman. Here. Let Lumak show."

Well, he showed me how to attach a shiny bauble to me line and how to cast and how to real'em in. Most of the little fishies got away at first, but as I kept at it it got easier. Pretty soon I had a big pile of catfish and mudsnappers and whatnot. You know what? They taste like crap. But now that I know how to fish better I'm gonna go over to Booty Bay and pick up a copy of Old Man Heming's book. It's supposed to help you catch the better tasting, more filling fishies.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Steamvault

Them damn pesky nagas was still up to mischief in the Coilfang Reservoir, and the Treehugger Expedition needed some blame fools hearty adventurers to go clear out the Steamvault. In particular they was wantin' Warlord Kalithresh taken out. So in we goes.

In addition to me it was Zinzi (who gives good resurrection), Throttle the room-temperature timker, and the hunter twins Aelion (who has miraculously recovered the use of his eye) and Bullvyne (who still got no depth perception). We hit the place with all kinds of crowd-control, sapping and trapping and more trapping and more trapping. Made me job easy, I tell ya. We took out a little goblin driving a big fuhggin mechano-walker name of Mekgineer Steamwalker, and in the wreckage I found this nifty piece o' joolery.

Then we took on Hydromancer Thespia, and she were a real bitch and a half. Had these two water elementals with her, and those pesky things could rumble through our two hunters traps like they wasn't there, which made the fight lots more of a pain. With lightning bolts. We all got stomped pretty good, but in the end we did her right and proper. We needs ta figger out how to fight elementals better. They's always givin' us trouble.

After that we cleared out some more naga minions and then we reached the Warlord hisself. He had a bunch of magic fishtanks. I didn't quite understand what the deal with them was (I can't be bothered to keep track of the details) but from time to time they'd all yell at "Ratter! Go hit the fishtank!" and we'd bang on it 'til it smashed. Then they'd say "Ratter! Go hit the warlord!" and I'd go hit his snakiness some more. We kept that up until he was dead.

So afterwards the Treehuggers gave us each a shiny new helmet as a reward (plus gold!). I got me the Myrmidon's Headress, which is a pretty nice brainbucket. It's got a socket for a meta gem, which I don't know nuthin' about. Gonna have to do some research. I also got my rep up high enough that the quartermaster was willing to sell me some cool junk. I bought this and this and this and this and this. I's a happy orc.

Lots to Say ...

... and no time to say it right now.

The famous Big Red Kitty linked to me blog today, which were pretty durn nice of him. If you're stoppin' by as a result of de linkage, Welcome. Nice to have visitors. Hope you don't mind the mess, I's in the middle of switching from my old blog. But I've set out some Roast Clefthoof and some Dragonbreath Chili, so feel free to help yerself while you browse. We's real casual around here. Oh, and in the back there's some stirfry human and bbq tauren and a nice mango salad.

Got some stuff ta say about the Steamvault and the Treehugger Expedition and me new helmet, but that'll have to wait.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Yo Ho!

Ahoy there, me hearty! Today be Talk Like A Pirate Day. So swash yer buckles and shiver yer timbers. We be weighing anchor and setting sail for the South Sea.


And remember - dead goblins tell no tales.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Now 20% Bold

So the other day my friend Zinzi says "Yo! Ratter! Me and some fellas is gonna go see what dem Shadow Council creeps is up to down under Auchindon. Ya tink ya can give us a hand, mon?"

Auchindon is the big freakin' round building in the middle of the Bone Wastes in Terrokar Forest. You can't miss it. Back during the second war the Shadow Council had a big "Oops" moment, which blew the roof off the place and destroyed half the forest. But the buggers survived and it was up to us to shut them down for good.

And shut them down we did. Ambassador Hellmaw: Dead.
Blackheart the Inciter: Dead.
Grandmaster Vorpil: Dead.

And then, deep in the Shadow Labyrinth, we found the Oops. Still going strong, and apparently being worshipped by those crazy yahoos. Biggest fuggerwhumping air elemental I ever did see, name of Murmur. Did this nasty sonic boom thing what dang near blew my brains out through me ears. Tough bugger.

But in the end we did for it, and what happened to be sitting on the ground underneath the big windbag? Why, the long-lost Shoulderguards of the Bold. Huzzah. I been looking for some shoulder armor for when I'm out killing things solo, and with the proper gems and inscriptions these should do nicely. Legend has it there are four more pieces of this armor set lying around Outland, deep in forgotten dungeons and such. Which puts me at 20% Bold.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Big Freakin' Gun

I said I wants it, and now I has it. The epic Gyro-Balanced Khorium Destroyer. Best damn gun there is for a warrior. (I hear it ain't bad for certain hunter types neither.) And it's mine. All mine.

Big thanks to friend-of-the-guild Dark for making it so quick after I sent him all the khorium and adamantite and felsteel and primal fire and primal air. You're a class guy, Dark. Unlike our resident tinker who's too damn busy getting pickled in the formaldehyde parlors to get off his bony butt and get his skill up and farm primal nethers.

Now, I admits I couldn't hit water if I was standing in a lake, but it don't matter none. As lomg as the bad guy knows he's being shot at, he's gonna come fight me, where I can hit him with my axe. And when this heavy-duty, loud-as-Mannoroth boomstick goes Ka-Blam! they know they being shot at.

I think I shall call it "Amy."

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Mechanar has been Secured

Mr. Roboto: Dead

Red-Headed Aggro-Wiping Bitch: Dead

Obsessive Schedule-Keeping Math Dude: Dead

And with that, the Purge succeeded in clearing out the most dangerous dungeon we have yet faced as a team. Yay on us. No loot for me, but Bullvyne got hisself a nice cloak and Throttle picked up a nice set of throwing knives. And Aelion finally learned what the fuhg "Wait for sunders" means.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


The plan is to go back to the Mechanar tonight. Mechano-Lord Capacitus and I have Unfinished Business.

And with any luck his little friend Sepethrea will happen to have the Jade-Skull Breastplate on her.

I Have Gone Over To The Dark Side

... and I don't mean the Aldor pavillion.

After 6 months blogging on Vox, I feel I want a change. I want to have control over how my sidebars look. I want to be able to comment on other blogs without having to repeat squiggly words. I want it to be easier, dammit!

We shall see how this goes.