Monday, March 31, 2008

Through the Dark Portal (Again)

Here I goes, running through the Dark Portal on me way to Outland. First time I did this were nearly a year ago, and things be just as buggered up in Hellfire as the last time. Portal is bigger than I remember, or maybe I's smaller. Whatevers.
Of course, me guildies had to use it as an opportunity to talks about sex, 'cause they got dang dirty minds. Is probably why I feels like I fit in there.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Most Bestest Ratter

Is follow-up this this post here.I figgered he'd like it. I likes making me friends happy.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Night Drunken Gratzifying

Th' keg's right over there. Help yerselfsh.

Thing is, there's a buncha you buggersh in the WoW-blogoland what done something noteworthy this week. Maybe I's left a congo rats comment on yer blog, maybe I ain't. Either way, yer getting a shoutout here and now, whether ya wants it or not. So sit down and take it like a man. Or a woman. Or a tree. ...hic!

First of alls, I tip me hat to Jeshsika and Kererererederia of the Left Claw. They's little guild of casuals done climbed the hill to get to Kara, doing fer Attumen and his donkey, and leaving an "I'll be back" calling card with Mr. Moroes. That hill may look smallish if yer looking back from TK or BT, but having come out've a small casual small guild meself I knows just how easy it be fer yer friendsh ta say "That'sh a big hill up ahead. Dude, screw that ...hic!" and then things all go to kerflubble. So yay on them.

Next up is me long-time friend Hydra, who participated in her guild's first-time ever downing of Magitherawhateversh. The big demon what drops the Tier 4 cheshtgear ... hic!. Apparently he were scheduled to get a nerfbat in 2.4 (unlike the trees he didn't have an organized grassroots protest working for him) and sho Monday were they's last chance to do it full monty. And they pulled it off, then RP'd the quest turn in and everything. Double yay on them fer the RP.

Doom! DooooOOOOOOoooooom! Bugger's gettin' hitched tomorrow. Grats, man! You should do one of them live-blog-feed thingsh, updates every ten minutes or so.

The Egotisticalacious Priest get hersself a new domain and is rolling Horde ... hic! Big changes. Lucks with all them endeavorsh. But no, Ego, I still ain't licking yer raptor to shee if it's watermellon flavor. Not enough beer in the world fer that...

TJ done did her second BlogTV preshentation ... event ... posting ... whatevers. It were the second one, and this time it came off with no surprise anatomy of any short. The next day it turned out there was an inappropriate amount of sideboobage, but this were not videographed, as far as I know...hic!

And BRK got kinda grumpified, but then he got hisshelf outta it. And he didn't get nobodiesh killed er nuthin'. So yay in him ... hic!

Sho, them's me grats fer tonight ...hic! If you did shumthin' with awesome sauce thish week and I missed it, be shure ta lets me know.

Ooh, I almost forgots. While I won't say she goes so far ash to put the romance back in necromancy, Dead Rabbit done did bring out the sexy in a half-decayed, room-temperature corpshe of a body. Sho yay on her fer laying it on the line there ... hic!

Somethings I Just Don't Get

Like, how is the Winterfall Furblogs, what lives in that frozen snowglobe known as Winterspring, all carrying deep-fried plantains in they's backpacks? Where they get'em? Does they smuggle them up from Un'goro crater, in sectret furblog caravans what nobody notices as they rumble up the Gold Road through Crossroads? And how did they sneak them through Timbermaw Hold? Ain't they supposed to be all sworn-enemies-like? Is the Timbermaws easily bribed with fried bananas, and if so, why don't we just use these to earn rep with them 'stead of beads and feathers?

I just don't get it. Not at all. Up Yours.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

New PvP Gears

First of, if yer Alliance and run BGs in the Whirlwind group and needs some more resilience, go away. Nuthin' fer you here. Urthona, I'm looking at you. Sonvar, probably not so much.

Okies, now that they's gone, here's some info what ya may have missed in all the other 2.4 excitements. For each class there be a new set of armor specifically for the PvPing. Is blues, so not all fancy and purple and with the glowing shoulders like the gladiator's kit, BUT it don't cost no honor points or marks anything, just gold. Deal is, there's five quartermasters in Outland, each'll sell ya one piece fer just a few gold pieces, as long as you be honored with they's faction. Poof! Instant PvP gear, with resilience and all, good-to-go. Which quartermasters? Is Sha'tar and Lower City and Keepers of Time and two others what I can't be bothered to remember the details. Maybe Sporeggar. I dunno - look it up fer yerself, already.

So, how good is this stuff? Well, is best I can tell is exactly the same as the Grand Marshall / High Warlord gear ya used to be able to get. Nifty thing is, with two pieces ya get a +35 resilience bonus, what stacks with the one ya get from two pieces of Gladiator's. Whoa. So what I done is picked up new legs and a chestpiece, which I'd been using old PvE gear for, and now me resilience is a respectable 255 (were 194 before). Long way from the zero I started with. So anyways, if yer just gettin' going in the BGs, ya owe it to yerself to check these out. Is all can be found on this page - I's too lazy fer to write out all them different sets.

Okay, someone tell them Alliance buggers they can come back in now.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Pulled this outta a Shattered Sun Supplies case - the reward for the new dailies in Shattrath. Is currently one BoJ in five tries.

/happy dance

For great TJ Googlefication

Up Yours!

Here We Go Again

The Aldorks and the Scrybabies done merged to form the ... I dunno ... let's call'em the Dorkbabies. Another rep to grind, but they does have some nifty rewards. Like this here shield. Did a few quests fer them yesterday, some in Shatt City, some on that island north of Belfland.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Primal Arrrgggghhh!!!

I first met me friend Throttle some 20-odd years ago. Back then, he were a skinny, goofy blonde kid with some wispy peach fuzz on his chin. In the days since then, he done become an undead abomination in the eyes of nature. He's even skinnier, 'speciallies in the knee and elbow regions, and all his hair done fallen out, but he still has his blonde moments. Like when he forgets ta put poison on his swords, or forgets to stealth before going in fer a sap. Or when he decided to tinker hisself up some super-duper goggles last May. Is what he reported afters:

So I mine and I mine, for more ore than a tauren could carry. I tinker and I tinker, and finally blow a couple of hundred gold at the AH for mats, to get my engineering to 350. I train and get the pattern for this awesome headgear I can make for myself - a rogue's dream goggles. I piece together (and buy) all the little materials I need except for the last one: a single piece of "primal nether".

Ah primal, I think, that's the stuff you put together from motes of this or that. Surely I can buy or grind that out. But none are at the AH. I'm wondering if this is something that can only be made by alchemists or enchanters. I go so a little web research.

It turns out this little drop of primality drops off instance bosses - only.

So I'm sitting here with a partially completed pair of goggles on my lap, the only thing lacking is the little spark that would turn them into the uber-goggles of my dreams. And I'm faced with putting them back on the workbench until I can go kill some heroic instances bosses - repeatedly.


Well, then over the summer our little guild of casuals suffered some setbacks, including our two senior tanks burning out and going back to Mulgore to pick daisies and run naked through the hills, or whatever it is retired herbalists and druids does. But by September I's got me threat on and we're running instances again. We got to where five of us was holding the keys fer heroic Coilfanging, but as I've said before the plans fell through and we never did go put Quagmirran's arse down and get Throttle his primal nether.

But now the universe done shifted a bit, and what were once BoP is now a trade good. So Throttle, if ya can remember how, go log on and check yer mailbox. Is a goody in there for ya.

What you Buggers Call Me

Mr Shag

Is I missing any?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Is Like Strip Poker, Only You Start Naked and Dance with Mr Smite

Bellweather over at 4 Haelz done posted a fun activity what you can do if yer wanting a break from raiding or BGs or whichever. Simple description is ya runs Deadmines, starting nekkid and equipping what ya can from drops. Whoever has the most clothes at the end be the winner (and probablies the silliest looking). Go reads her post fer more details.

I has so got to smack me friends around until they agree to try this.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Is New Threads

Is me new dwarfish outfit, there on the left. Less "I been to Scarlet Monastery", more "I's a bad-ass country preacher. Repent, or I melts yer face!" This priestie thing really be starting to agree with me.

Big big thanks to me guildie Shumei, what sent me the new robe this past week, already enchanted and everythings. Is great piece of kit - fits good and the material breathes, so it be warm in Winterspring but cool in the Burning Steppes. Plus ya just gots to stand up and salute all that +shadow damage. And the hat be the first thing what I found on the AH with better stats than Sally's Chapeau. So now Kitty can untwist his knickers. Gonna keep the chapeau, though, so I won't be totally starkers when I dance on the mailbox in Stormwind.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Blackrocks is a Buncha Wankers

I don't usually likes ta get into politics. The three wars is over, and I supports Warchiefs Thrall's policy of focusing on building up our people's strength so's we can fight the real enemies, like the Burning Legion. Howevers...

This here enormafuhgging statue be the likeness of Sir Anduin Lothar, onlies he weren't that tall in real life. He were a big time general for the hummies during the first two wars, before old Doomhammer did fer him outside of Blackrock Spire. So I understands them wanting to honor him. But this here statue were built with slave labor, orcs pulled outta the concentration camps and worked 'til they dropped. Me older sister Azhgula were one of these slaves, and her leg was crushed by a stone piece was slipped and fell on her. So the whole big pile of rocks be a symbol of the enslavement of me people, far as I's concerned.

And today it stands in the middle of the Burning Steppes, surrounded by camps of them outlaws, the Blackrock Clan. And what does they do it? Does they tear it down? Does they quarry it fer they fortifications? Do they scribble dirty graffiti on his legs? No. They does nothing. They's a buncha lazy-arse, disrespectful wankers.

Fuhggit. I'm gonna go have some beer.

Friday Night Dakoneris

Whiles the power forward of the Gnomeregan-in-Exile women's basketball team were showing me her full court press, Dakoneris the boingy-eared twinky were out earning his keep. It being Whore's Thong Gulch weekend and alls.

His first round of the evening the Ninnies put up a team full of season 12 and 13 rookies with like, I dunno, 37 health each. It were a pretty lopsided affair. But when they was about to wins, the call went out to drop the flag and go camp the hordies GY, which about 7 or so of his team promptly did. Dak pointed out that this were boring and not cool and let's just finish'em and get some more interesting opponents, but that got nowheres. So he goes and finds the flag and runs it in hisself. This were in keeping with his guild's policy of treating the enemy with respect, which I fully supports. Had the original FC held onto the flag and prevented him from finishing it, he were prepared to dance naked in the Horde graveyard to protest, but fortunatelies fer his elfish dignity this were not required.

Then he hooked up with some of his guildies and, in between battlefields, they did some 5v5 arenas. In his first time in that category (which actually ended up as a 4v4, but whatevers) he learned an important lesson. If Everyone But You is stealthed, You Is A Target. A lesson brought home by a sudden swarm of two-foot tall rogues what dropped him like a sack of potatoes. Afterwards he tried running into the arena and then quickly shadowmelding, what helped some.

Unlikes the Hall of the Brave in Org, in Stormwind they gives ya something to do whiles ya wait fer the battleground to pop. Here be me friend Aurum, the best dressed bank alt on her server, catching up on some light reading.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Is Good Ideas and Informations Over There

Me friend Windshadow of the Dainty Elf Butt done wrote a most excellent article abouts being guildless and looking fer a home and what you should be doing. Lots and lots and lots of pugging, mostly. Plus, she's got this nifty metaphore about a hot chick looking for a stable guy (is a guild looking to recruit) and a young dweeby guy looking fer Ms Right (is guildless adventurer). It were most clever. Go checks it out.

Meself, I think I mighta made some different choices last spring and summer if I'd understood these concepts better. I tried doing some pugs when I first got to Outland - Hellfire Ramparts and the like. Didn't go too well. Usual stuff. Last invited to join a group, but then gotta wait outside the instance while people finish they's quests. Hunter insists on pulling, fires a multi-shot, then goes straight to his pew pew rotation while the mobs is still running towards us. Nobody wants to mark or establish a kill order. The priest and the mage make everyone wait while they fight a duel. And of course, every wipe is followed by "our tank can't hold aggro" complaints. It weren't no fun, 'speciallies since I were still learning and didn't realize how much of it weren't me fault.

Compare this to our small, uber-casual, run-one-instance-a-week-if-enough-people-show-up guild runs. Sometimes we was a well-oiled machine, sometimes more like a troop of clowns, but always fun, always happy to help each other. Didn't take long before I said "screw pugging" and spent the time between our infrequent guild events doing rep grinds and farming and dailies. Got me a buncha tabards, some nice gear, and a cool dragon to ride. What I didn't get were too many connections outside of me guild. And then me guildies stopped showing up.

Now, If I'd been using me time differents, I might've had some options. I might've had some connections. I certainly woulda had more confidence and experience tanking instances with different group makeups and skill levels. Woulda been in a good position to follow Dainty Elf Butt's advice and taken me show on the road. But instead I were all dressed up with Kara-ready gear and a shiny new key, but no hot girl to dance with.

Fortunatelies fer me, this story gots a happy ending. Because I writes this silly blog what you buggers waste time reading, I's found more things ta do with more different peoples than ya can shake a stick at. And that don't even include tomorrow night's date with the power forward of the Gnomregan-in-exile Women's Basketball team. But some of you buggers may not be so luckies. So go reads DEB's article - is worth yer time, I swears.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It Weren't Mine!

Mine is never a surprise.

Oh Please

Some buggers take things so fuhggin seriously. I proceeded to /cheer and /whistle and /dance while he did his ritual. Didn't disrupt things one muggerlumpin bit.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


No reasons fer this pic, other than what it looks pretty cool.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Being Sociables in the Hinterlands

This tasty piece of Elfflesh be ... um ... Alianna? Ayalla? Analynda? Fuhggit. I can't be bothered to remember the details. Anywho, say hello, you buggers.

She's one them High Elfs, which be differents from Blood Elfs in that they'd rather be at the bottom of the Alliance totem pole than make deals with nagas and demons and torture creatures of pure goodness and light and live in cities with creepy magic brooms. Whatevers.

There's this Helf base in the Hinterlands, but they ain't doing so hot. Apparentlies last spring some orc warrior with a huge flaming sword busted into they's compound, killing a buncha them, burning up they's secret records, and watching some of they's videos without rewinding afters. And even though they's part of the Alliance, they don't get very many visitors for to bring'em news or buy stuff or keep lonely Helf wimmen warm on a cold Hinterland night. I told'em they needed to order some of them big yellow exclamation points what float over yer head from that shop in Stormwind. Then they should offer to pay adventurers like me to kill stuff fer them. Like maybe those gryphons what be flapping around in the area, since the Wildhammer dwarves won't pay ya to. That'd bring in a lot more visitors. They said they were intrigued by me suggestion and would look inta it.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

Friday Night Drunken Singings

I'm a wheel, I'm a wheel
I can roll, I can feel
And you can't stop me turnin'!

'Cause I'm the sun, I'm the sun
I can move, I can run,
But you'll never stop me burning!

Come down with fire
Lift my spirit higher
Someone's screaming my name
Come and make me holy again!

Little bunny Froo-froo
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
and BOPPING them on the head!


Ratshag (in dwarf disguise):
I loves ta go swimmin'
With bow-legged wimmen
And swim between they's legs!
Swim between they's legs!
Swim between they's legs!

Hey Tom it's Mouse from the village down the hill
Good to ssee you buddy, How you've been?
Things have been okay for me except that I'm a zombie now
Really wish you'll let ussh in
I think I speak for all of us
When I say I undershtand
Why you folksh might hessitate to submit to our demands
But here'sss an FYI, You're all gonna die sshcreaming

All we wanna do iss eat your brains
We're not unreassonable
I mean no one's gonna eat your eyesh
All we wanna do is eat your brainss
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromishe
You open up the door
We'll all go insside and eat your brainssh

... tuneless humming ...
Are you going to the Darkmoon Faire?
Parsley, sage, some herb, and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a something of mine
...tuneless humming...
...more tuneless humming...

Alayda (in ghost wolf form):

Glahgl ahg gahlah lhaghalha
Gahlgla gahahlgha allagha gahl ...hic!
Laghlha aghla galhaghal hagaha
Aghahl glhaha glha agllahlha ...hic!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Everybody in Arenas! Arenas!

Higher rating don't mean you's got a larger p****!

(is thanks to Nymh fer that line)

Me friend Sabiba has done invited me to join her 2v2 Arena team. Team's also got a holy pally, what I ain't met yet. I figgers like everybody else what starts playing in the arena leagues there's gonna be a lots of learning fer me to do, but that's good. I likes learning new stuffs, and I's planning to have fun. Worst case, Sabiba sez to me "Ratter, you's an amazingly handsome and attractive piece of orcflesh, but yer a total scrub at arena fighting" and kicks me off again. But I figgers that ain't too likely (the kicking part, not the amazingly attractive part).

I'd already respecced meself to 31/30/0, since I were pretty much PvPing full-time anyway, plus the occasional daily. And I got me Lunar Crescent outta the bank and found an enchanter ta slap Savagery on it. Is cool-looking, what with netherblood dripping off of it and whatnot. Is not a great PvP axe, since it ain't got no +STA or Resilience, but it do lay down some serious pain and I'll be swinging it until I can save enough honor points to pick up a Gladiator's Decapitator or somethings.

Hopings to throw down and party tomorrow night. Looking forward to it.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Need to Polish Me Hooves

Over a year ago, when I were still whacking quillboars in the Barrens, a bunch of young blood elves joined me guild. I suggested that maybe I oughts ta slow down me leveling and let them catch up. Well, that produced indignations. They's gonna catch me just fine. One young warlock said "You best get those hoofs polished and greased you are indeed being chased!"

Hooves? Hooves??? I politely reminded her I was an orc, not a tauren.

"ok, polish whatever needs polishing and grease whatever needs greased"

Um, yeah. Whatevers. Well, she never did catch me, but we ended being good friends anyhows. Flash forward to this just past weekend. I's got me dwarf disguise on, felling all refreshed after me date with Jaina, and one of me guildies starts talkin' trash at me. She's just gotten to Outland, and wants to know why the hey I ain't caught up to her so's we can go Fel Reaver tipping together. Is me hat slipping down over me eyes? Is I tripping on the hem of me dress? (Well, to be honest, this running about in a dress is pretty awkward and I does trip on the hem occasionally. But that's beside the point.) Why I so slloooowwwwww??????

So, here's the deal (as defined entirely by her): She's gonna go rest her caboose in an inn fer approximately one billion days. At which point I'd better have caught up. Or else. As of today I's at level 43, and I has 999,999,999 days, give or take, to get to 58. Or 60. Or whichever.

'Scuse me. I's gonna go polish me hooves.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Me Date with Jaina Proudmoore

I's been questing in Dustwallow Marsh latelies, operating out of that Human city, Thereamore. Means "New Lordaeron in the Putrid Swamp". Is good work, killing murlocs and Defias buggers and soldiers what done deserted. I likes establishing law-and-order.

Anywho, while I's there I get this summons to come meet Ms. Jaina Proudmore. She's the top muckity-muck human; pretty much anywheres, not just in Swamp City. She wants to thank me fer all the hard work and slaughterfications I been up to. So I's there, all dwarfed up, and some flunky reads off a list of me deeds and it's all polite and civil. Then she leans in close and whispers "I am a Mage of the Tenth Circle of Kirin Tor. Do you think your pathetic disguise can fool me, orc?"

Oh, crap. I figures I's gonna need to fight me way outta this tower, and I don't like me odds. Not against a level skull world boss, with no backup or nuthin'. Then she smiles and stands up straight and shakes me hand, like none of it had happened. Okay. But then I realizes she's got a folded-up piece of paper she's passing me. But none of her flunkeys can see. Is like being back in school, passing notes with Utta Spleenchewer. I slips it into me pocket and we goes on.

Once I's outta there I pull her note out and unfolds it. "Meet me at the Inn in Ratchet next Friday night. Wear something kinky." Kinky, huh. This from the woman what used to date Kael'thas. Her idea of kinky could be, well, pretty much anything.

So Friday night comes along, and I put on me new chapeau and splash on some of the musky goodness from a bottle of troll sweat. Since it be a date, I picks up some red roses. Then I catches a wyvern to Ratchet and ambles over to the inn. The innkeeper, he just nods at me and sez "Room Five. Go on up." So I does.

And there's Jaina, wearing a Bad Mojo mask, a Virtuous Skirt, and nuthings in between. Great googly moogly. We procedes to have ourselves one helluva good time. There was La Macarena dancing and polymorphing and battle shouts and conjured champaigne and victory rushes and flamestriking. At one point she yelled out "oh sweet Elune, Thrall! Yes! Yes!" but it didn't bother me nones. After all, I sure preferred her being in bed with me and calling out his name to her being in bed with the Warchief and calling out me name. Well, actually, we was sorta halfway in the closet at that point, but you knows what I mean.

Next morning she were gone when I woke up, but I understoods. After all, she had a nation to run and everything. And me, it were time to put me dwarf costume back on and see what that crazy hermit Tabetha wanted.

Armory Issues

Fer thems what uses the paper doll to create images, there's apparently a problem accessing the US armory. The other armories is working fine, and according to they's forums they is all bafflefied as to why it don't work. But until they figgers it out, avatars ain't updating. Is a bummer.

Friday, March 7, 2008

The Scout Report

Is a funny webcomic. Updates only when Scout damn well feels like it, but definitelies worth checking in on from time to time.

Dis is my BOOMSTICK!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Is One Down

Blizzard has done come to they's senses a bit and scrapped the Warlock Life Tap nerf. So no baby eating.

Hopefullies scrapping the Trees' Lifebloom nerf will follow soonish. If not, them droods may have to resort ta casting really heavy shade over the developers' babies. Or tearing down the walls of Isengard. Or somethins.

They Vill Haff Compliance

These buggers cracks me up, they really does.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Is Me New Hat

Is a chapeau. Is foreign-talk. Means several things:

Number the One: Sally's dead and I gots her hat. Again.

Number the Two: BRK's gonna be all jealous over me mad le3t haberdashery skillz.

Number the Three: I's up to level 39. That big dwarfy sheepdog mount's so close I can smells it. Feugh!

Number the Four: I dunno. Sumthin', maybe.

Number the Five: I gots sumthin' kinky ta wear fer me upcoming date with Jaina Proudmoore.

Saturday, March 1, 2008


Don't matter what species ya is ...... it's still a bunghole.

Is Solidarity Time

Thinks of the babies

Don't Nerf Trees

Now, I ain't neither a 'lock nor a drood, but I don't wants to see neithers Life Tap nor Lifebloom get the nerfbat in 2.4. Life Tap be fundemental to what 'locks is - how they fight, how they gear, how they spec. Ain't right to be changing it this late in the game. And lifebloom? Is how the trees keep you not dead, which is a good far as I's concerned. So I stands with me friends Pelligri and Leafy and all the rest and sez No Nerf!

And locks? If they go ahead and screws ya anyway, go talk to Challe in Nagrand. I bets she knows some excellent baby recipes. 'Cept you Forsaken-types - you cans go ahead and eat'em raw.