Wednesday, June 27, 2012

And On The Eighth Day, The Light Spaketh:


And I sez, "Yeah, that'd be me, chief."


Mechano-hogs is gonna be account wide? Hells yeah is time fer ta make me one. Still costs about 15k with a bit of guild bank ninjafyin', but pffft.

And the chance fer ta be irreverent with a deity? That be on the house.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World: Kinnavieve

My Dearest David,

Light willing, everything will be over tomorrow. It has been a year since I left home to fight the Twilight's Hammer. I went to protect you and little Bolvar. I went to defend our kingdom. I went to stop those who wanted to destroy our world. There were all noble, honorable reasons to go to war, and you and I both pretended that that was all. But there was another reason, the one neither of us could bear to mention at the time.

My face is still as burned and ravaged as it was the morning I tried to face Deathwing at the city gates. My right ear is still gone, my nose is still a flattened, shapeless lump, my mouth is still twisted into a grimace. It is a horror to look at, there is no denying. I cannot blame you for flinching when you looked at me - I am sure I would have too. But I realize now that it was wrong of me not to give you time, time to adjust. I should have had more faith in you and in your love for me. But I was weak, afraid that you would always be disgusted, and ashamed that you were disgusted. And so I ran away. I may have fought Nefarian and Cho'gall and Ragnaros in their inner sanctums, but I was still running away.

But I'm done with that now. I will be coming home soon, and I will beg your forgiveness for not trusting in you. I promise you that I will give you all I have, do all I can to rebuild our life together. And I will be as strong as you need me to be, no matter what. I am your Kinnavieve, and I will love you with all my heart, and I will give you however long you need, and help you learn not to be ashamed.

All my love,

ps Please kiss Bolvar for me, and tell him his mother loves him. And that she'll be coming home soon.

Well, that's it. I've sent it. Either we'll win tomorrow, or we won't. If we don't, I guess nothing I said will matter. And if he won't take me back, then at least it will only be my world that ends.

(Editor's note: This post done makes references ta stuff what happened way back here an' here.)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Wax On, Wax Off

Well, no dimunitive but surprisinglies wise and vorpal asian man done jumped in fer ta save him this time. The Karate Kid done got carried off ta a fate worse than death by the Creature from the Black Lagoon, 64 ta 28.

This week we done has a showdown between the two bad boys of the kitchen. Poll be over in the sidebar, as usualls.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World: Palintera

Hello, 'licious. How are you today? The priests tell me you got up and went for a walk in the sun yesterday, and chased the butterflies. Would you like to do that again? With me? Maybe? ....'licious?

No? Just in a sit on the bed and stare into space mood today, huh? That's okay. I would have liked to chase butterflies with you, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I understand.

Um, I gotta tell you something. You know that dragon that caused those all those earthquakes and tsunamis a while back that killed a lot of people, including almost us? The one that did ... this ... to you? Well, the other dragons, the ones who aren't all crazy and evil, they think he's about ready to do ... something ... that will finish the job. Destroy everything. They think they can stop him, use this ancient weapon to kill him, but they need help. Ratters is there, at Wyrmrest, and, well, oh goddess you'd laugh if you could hear me, he wants me there too. Well, he wants everybody on the team, and, I mean, it makes sense that he'd want veterans like Kinnavieve and Phoenicia, but he wants me too. That's bad, isn't it? That's real bad that he's asking for me...

I gotta tell you, 'licious, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I mean, I've been fighting things for years now, and I've gotten pretty good at it, but I've never done anything like this. But I'm going to go, because they need help and it looks like there's no one else. And if Deathwing destroys the world, then he'd ... he'd destroy you, and I can't let that happen. We've come too far for me to let that happen.

I've left some gold with the high priestess,  just in case I, well, you know, just in case. You wouldn't believe what people will pay for those herbs that grow off the shores of Tol Barad, and ain't nobody can farm underwater like your girl Pali can. So, no matter what happens, you'll be taken care of.

I... I gotta go now. It's time. You be good, okay? Do what these nice priests tell you to, and keep trying to find your way home, all right? I miss you. I really miss you. I wish you could come with me.




Can you hear me? Can you, maybe, give me a sign? Anything?




All right, Deathwing. Let's do this. I owe you pain, fucker.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Is High Tide At The Darkmoon Faire

Is it just me, or is the water done gettin' higher? Anybody got a stick we can use as a marker? Wherefuhg be Christopher Robbin when ya needs him?

Monday, June 11, 2012

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World

Any you buggers remember a big-arsed glubbernudder name of Archimonde? Him an' his crew done partied the everlivin' crap outta Old Dalaran, then headed up Hyjal way. What happened to him? The orc an' human warchiefs, Thrall an' Jaina, along with Cairne an' Tyrande took they's forces, along with a buncha Vol'jin's lads, grouped up, an' knocked his punk arse down. Was the free peoples of Azeroth, an' they's leaders, against the demons an' undeads. An' they fuhggin' saved the world.

What we got now? Coupla dingleberries, Garrosh an' Varian, what be more interested in wavin' they's tallywhackers in each others' faces than they is in fightin' the real big bad. Commitin' they's best troops ta fight over a abandonized prison complex? Blowin' the mission fer ta send yer fighters ta chase after dwarves like a dog what sees a squirrel? Gimme a fuhggin' break. Meanwhiles, Deathwing sacks Stormwind, his minions burn Org, Azeroth dang near falls inta Deepholm, the big guy cruises the world toastin' anythin' what he catches in the open. I tried tellin' Garrosh he was worryin' 'bout the wrong dupperthunkers, an' he should be focusin' on how fer ta stop that dragon, but he weren't interested. 'Course, I mebbe could been a little more diplomatic, 'stead of tellin' him ta get them kodo droppins outta his skull or haul his cowardly hick arse back ta Nagrand, but I weren't feelin' none too charitables after watchin' the Earthen Ring's best and bravest buy the farm so's me and Thrall could deliver the Dragon Soul ta Wyrmrest. Kinnavieve done talked ta King Doofus, but she didn't have no more lucks with him neither.

Well, fuhg'em.

I done spent the past five years not onlies sharpifyin' me skills, but buildin' up a team of misfits an' loose cannons what know how ta fight. We ain't pretty, we ain't famous, we ain't the sort ya bring home ta mother. Unless mom works in some stinkhole in Booty Bay, servin' Uncle Bonechomper's Day-Old Piss ta retired pirates an' washed-out Shattrath cops, then ya mebbe ya does. But I digressifies. Me point is, we know what ta do when there be a dragon what needs killin'. Ya don't go struttin' aroun' town in yer Abercrombie & Mammoth outfit, talkin' 'bout how yer a bigger badarse than that dude in that other place. No, ya go kill the dragon. Or die tryin'. 'Cause someone's gotta.

As me man Hans Gruber woulda said, "Due ta the Twilight Hammer's Legacy of doin' the nasty with elder gods, tryin' fer ta destroy the world, an' drivin' volcanoes through the houses of amazinly virile orcs, they's about ta be taught a lesson in the real use of rage. You buggers will be witnesses."

Friday, June 1, 2012

Is Friday Night Drunken Gamifyin'

Ratshag: What be the name of thish game?
Kinnavieve: Thumper!
Ratshag: Whyfuhg we playin'?
Maurice: To get drunk? ...hic!
Ratshag: I sezh, whyfuhg we playin'?
Danger Mouse: To get really fucked up!
Ratshag: Who playsh this here game?
Palintera: Thumperbuggers! ...hic!

/gesture /point
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/gesture /gesture /gesture /gesture Crap! /drink