Saturday, February 16, 2008

Is Where Ellspeth Got Her Heart Brokified

"Raaaat-teeeer.... would you please kill someone for me? And make it ... slow. And painful."

"Maybes. Who's the unlucky nubberglumper, Ellspeth?

"Well, I don't really know his name. But he's an Orgrimmar Grunt. And you'll be able to know it's him because he's the most handsome man in the world, and I bared my soul to him, and I want to go to a deserted tropical island, just the two of us, and be happy together forever. But he said I really wasn't his type. So I want you to rip the bastard's entrails out and feed them to my turtle!"

"Umm ... kid ... you been puttin' on that funny perfume the innkeepers have been selling lately?"

"Yes! And I even gave him a Love Token, which cost me a whole ten coppers! And all I wanted in return was his undying love, or at least his adoration and a Lovely Black Dress. And then he spurned me! And now I know I'll never love this way again, at least not for another ... forty-two minutes! So would you please kill him for me?"

"I don't think killin' city guards be such a good idea, kid. How about I just give ya this here Friendship Bracelet instead?"

Great googly moogly. This whole love in the air thing can get pretty outta hand. You be carefuls out there.


Anonymous said...

Omigoodness! Poor Ellspeth. I know Bellbell was running around Iron Forge getting her heart busted by Dwarves for hours.

Guards can be so cruel, you know.

I think it's the hooves.

Anonymous said...

Heartbreak happens. I got rejected the first time but when I came back the second and third time my love was graciously accepted. She even gave me a picnic basket so I could have an umbrella for when it rains, a towel so I can dry myself off after taking a swim, and always a nice sandwich. Though those pesky ants seem to follow it around.