Monday, August 30, 2010

Yeah, We Totally Do

Spears and all. 'Cause that's how we roll.

Is thanks ta the awesomeness what be XKCD.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Next Time, Slave Boy...

...remembers fer ta pack the Darnassus banner, and she might not drown yer arse.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

She's Me Favorite Healer

Kinnavieve's too.

The fact what Shianti can make healing PoS look easy, despite havin' her walrus-dude fishing pole on 'stead of shmexy and off-shmexy, only reinforces.
Oh, the RL Avatar done wants me ta pass on a message:

Yesterday's test results showed that the seven months of treatment worked, and there are no signs of cancer anywhere - complete remission. Still a long way to go before we know if she is cured, but this was a big, big milestone. Many, many thanks from both of us to everyone for their support, well-wishes, and encouragement this past year.

Whateverfuhg that means. He seems pretty happies about it.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Lady RNG Is A Cruel Bitch

So, Phoenicia finally got herself geared ta the point where the DF would let her inta the Pit of Saron. And looky looky, the Tyrannical Beheader, favorite pre-raid weapon of any plate-wearin', two-hander-swingin', tougher-n-nails bugger, done dropped.

So of course, the tank out-rolled her. By one thuggernubbin' point.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Vyprania's Story: The Frozen Throne

At last, we reached it. The Frozen Throne, the heart of Arthas'empire of horrors. It perched at the top of a giant pillar of ice, a monument to his vanity and megalomania. When we reached it, we saw that he was personally overseeing the torture of Bolvar Fordragon, whom I thought had died at the Battle of the Wrathgate. For a few minutes, we faced each other, the Lich King and the Left Claw. In my head, I could hear voices screaming in my head, but faintly, as if from a great distance.


Then Arthas let out a low, rasping laugh. He stood, and began walking down the steps toward us. "So come then, you heroes! Come in all your power and glory!" he taunted. "For in the final hour, all must serve the one... true... king!" With that, he drew Frostmourne and charged.


Jessika met his charge. She was wearing special armor, reinforced with thick saronite and magic runes to allow her to withstand his blows. I sought to get behind him, using my speed to land quick blows and then dart back. Others cast fireballs and shadowbolts at him from a distance, or grappled with the zombies and ghouls he summoned, corpses of our former allies.


Arthas was a powerful foe, far stronger than the minions we had dispatched fighting our way through the citadel. He hurled frost and shadow magics at us. His val'kyr swept in and tried to sweep us from the platform. But we adapted and adjusted and fought on. We were hardened veterans, fighting to rid the world of a terrible evil, and we would not be stopped.


Suddenly, Jessika was down. She had tripped over a corpse, and landed on her back, temporarily helpless. Arthas moved in for the kill, leaving himself vulnerable as I came in from behind. This was it. This was my chance to end it, once and for all. I gripped my swords tightly and leaped.


I'm all right. Just got the wind knocked out of me *cough*, is all. Give me a minute to *cough* catch my breath, and then I'll get back in the fight. I can *cough* hear them, hear the swords, hear the *cough* fireballs. They *cough* need me. Okay, I can *cough* do this. Here I*cough*
Blood. Not good. Why am I coughing blood? Am I *cough* wounded? It's all so cold, I *cough* can't tell. But I need to get back into the *cough* fight. Arthas must die, he must pay*cough*
Sweet Elune, what is that? A *cough* black cloud, rolling across the ground, getting closer. Can't let it reach me. Gotta *cough* move. C'mon, Vyprania. Move. gotta move gotta move gotta move gotta gotta gotta gotta

Monday, August 16, 2010

Where Are You Going With This .... Thing?

It ain't fair, mon. Little red-head dwarf girl get a han'some troll fella ta play wit, an I get stuck wit an abomination. Hay! Put yo guts back in yo belly!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Is Where Sumthin' Ain't Right

Now, me and Kinnavieve, we's both veteran tanks. And we gots a lotta respect and affection fer each other. And we's both swingin' Tier 9 - level tankin' weapons.

But how is it what the pasty-skinned human got the axe, while the amazingly virile orc got the sword? Is all backwards and discombobulated, I tells ya.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Her Toes Be Froze, Mon

Hello, mon. Dis here be Alayda the shaman. Been a while, so you may not remember me. 'Sokay, chile, Alayda remembers you.

I reached mah sixty-eighth season in Nagrand, taming da wild spirits in dat land. I tell ya, mon, dey not happy after what dem demon-folk an' mage-folk done to da place. Coulda stayed for years, mon, healing da damage, but dem Earthen Ring masters tol' dis here troll I be needed elsewhere. So I took one of dem crazy goblin flying machines to da Northrend...

It be cold here, mon! I be tellin' it true. Mah skin would be a-turnin' blue, if it was not already. Ah-hahahaha-ha! I be t'inkin', it be too cold ta grow da ganja up here, an' dat be why dem Drakkari be so crazy.

Dere be a lotta dead mans here in da Howling Fjord, practicin' dey own kin' voodoo. Mouse, you hurry up an' get yo' self up here, chile! You fit right in!

Here be giants! Dese here Vrykul, mon, dey be twice big and ugly as Drakkari, and jus' as crazy in dey's heads.

"Keep yer badgers in the bank, for laters," say da boss Ratshag. "It not be a badger, mon, it be a emblem." "Same thing," he say.
I tell you, chile, every be goin' crazy in da Northrend.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

You Buggers Missed One

So, me and The Purge was kickin' around Dalaran in the Secret Purge Headquarters and Laundromat, when I says, Hey! Let's go check out that Ice Cream Social place, mebbe there's still some action we can get in on there. So off we heads, and great googly moogly, there's a bug-arsed floaty skeleton thingy with a lotta heads. How the fuhg all you high-end raider types been missin' him fer the past eight months, I got no clue. But, the bluggernubber gotta die - cain't be leavin' bosses wanderin' around like they owns the joint.

So die he did.

Is big thanks ta Stop the identity-challenged Death Knugget fer lending us a hand this night. In additions ta him, we had the following Purginistas: Tarsius the grumpy druid, Zinzi what Gives Good Resurrection, and Cameron what sounds like Swaggerin what sounds like Zeenaa was all on heals. Lady Jessrayge, Rim Who Be Awesome, Ixtaros What Smells Only A Little Dead, and Throttle What Smells All Kinds of Dead joined the Stoppifier on deeps. And as usual tanking were provided by Big Bad Guun and me truly.

After them bones, them bones stopped a-clatterin' we found a couple nice swords in the rubblefications. A big one fer Ix, and a little one fer Rim. Was a most successful outing.

Some Bank Alts Is More Badass Than Others

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Lesson On Being A Soldier Of The Light

Kinnavieve, I am troubled.

What is it, young Jinnik?

So many of the adventurers I am working with to clear dungeons. They .... they are not very good.

Ah. You must remember, Jinnik, you and I are soldiers of the Light. We have a sacred duty to help and each our fellow travelers. Remember, many of them do not have seniors to learn from, as you and I did from Ratshag. Seniors who are wise in the ways of the blogosphere, and had the good fortune to dungeon raid with such legends as Vonya and the Big Red Kitty. You must be patient with them, and gently explain that Righteous Fury will focus the monsters anger against the most easily healed member of the party, and that a hunter will slay his foes more readily if he stands at a distance and fires his bow rather than charging in like a warrior. Teach them to wait for the group defender to maneuver the foe to an advantageous position, and to wait when you need to replenish your mana. Always remember that a soldier of the Light is calm and serene and patient with those not as knowledgeable or experienced.

But Kinnavieve, what if that is not enough?. What if one of my team members does not heed my instructions, but insists on behaving in a reckless fashion?

Ah. Should that be the case, then break his frickin' jaw.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Whoa. Check Out The Bazoongas On Her

Phoenicia, our little red-headed ball of fury, done be the latest member of Team Ratshag fer ta reach her 80th season. Ta celebrates, she been workin' on gearin' and reppin' up. So far is new shoulders, new boomstick, and of course new weapons ("the gels" she calls 'em).

Of course I meant her maces. What you think I meant? You buggers got dirty minds.