Wednesday, November 30, 2011

"All Right Then, I'll Go To Hell"

Is big hairy Congo rats on yer birthday, Sam. Seems like only yesteryear me and Huck and Jim was floatin' down the river, and now here you is 176 years old. Great googly moogly.

When a simple line like that still resonatifies after overs a century, well, you sure knew whatfuhg you was about. /salute

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Hour Of Twiglight

Has ya seen the new trailer? Is okay.

Is lotta dragons an' ominous end-of-the glubbernuggin'-world textifyin' an' heroes fightin' big dudes an' some pretty decent music. But at the end, alls I can think is:

"Deathwing. Dude. Learn ta fuhggin' barrel roll alreadies."

Look Out, Road Runner

Wile E Coyote done used his Acme Rocket Boots fer ta leap Moonshiner Cliche Creek and leave old Sheriff Roscoe chokin' on his dust. Final tally: 92 ta 22, a very solid victory.

In honor of the imminentish release of The Old Folks Republic, we has a battle of two legendary amphibians this time around. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Understand THIS!

Ogri'la done be a weird faction. Out in the middle of nowheres, no flight path, no inn, no nuthin'. But four years ago, I wanted me some epic boots and they had'em. So I spent me summer bustin' me hump fer ta grind up ta exalted with them heavyweight buggers. But then when I goes fer ta see the quartermaster, he sez this:

"I'm sorry, Mr. Ratshag, but I also need eight Apexis Crystals. You're a big hero and saved our huge collective ass, but I am running a business and I do need to make a profit. I'm sure you understand."

Yeah, I understood all right. Ya hadda kill an elite demon fer each crystal, and me guild at the time were deader'n Sylvanas' pet gerbil. Gettin' four buggers fer ta come out ta the middle of nowheres ta kill demons in return fer, um, well, nuthin'? Yeah, that'd didn't work out so good. So no boots fer Ratters.

That were then. This is now. I's a bad-arse now.

I went ta the bank and pulled out all them apexis shards what been gatherin' dust fer four years. Then I flew up ta the Blades Edge Mountains and unleashed hell. Popped crystals inta demon vending machines and them fluggernubbers went down faster'n Booty Bay whoors in a private elevator. Then I done took me crystals ta Jho'nass and I sez "Gimme my dunkerglubbin' boots, beeyatch!" Onlies, more polite-like.
And guess what? I got me my boots.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Is Where Mouse Goes Ta The Caverns Of Time

Is this .... me?

Could thiss .... have been .... me?

Brown eyesss .....
Ssoft hair .....
Pretty ....

No! I am hard. I am cold. I am Danger Mouse.
I am Forsaken, now, alwayss and forever.




Damn you, Kel'Thuzad. Damn you to the deepessst hell.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

What Hell She Banging?

Now, I goes way back with Tumi, what works in the forge district of Org. She don't make the high end ensorceled kit what I been trained fer, but she do make reliable gear fer the grunts and young adventurers. But now, what I wants fer ta know is, how comes when she invites me fer ta share her iron, I gets a "Anvil is required" message? Sure looks like a fluggernubbin' anvil ta me.
Meanwhiles, over on Innkeeper Nufa's place, this ain't no cooking fire. I guess that slab of meat's gonna stay raw fer quite a whiles then....

I tells ya, things is weird in the Valley of Honor.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


Buffy the Puginator's ready fer ta pug Deathwing. Is you?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Baby Names

WoW Insider's "The Queue" column were asked the question, "What's the better name for a baby, Thrall, Varian, or a different character? Not actually happening, just spawned from a drunken conversation."

The obvious answer, of course, be neither. "Thrall" just means "slave" as Alex pointed out, so that ain't no good. And who fuhg wants fer ta name they's kid after a pasty-skinned hooman? Howevers, here at Need More Rage we understands the appeal of permanentlies branding yer kid with an identity from yer current favorite video game, so we done come up with a list of more appropriate character names what you could use fer ta name yer baby:

Arconus the Insatiable
Cap'n Slappy
Zuluhed the Whacked
Gally Lumpstain
Scrapper Zartson
The Leaper
Basic Campfire
Oglethorpe Obnoticus
The Great Sambino
Subservient Flesh Beast

Goodbye Anne

We may have gone our own ways over the decades, but I ain't never forgottens where things began.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Ten Buggers I'd've Rather Seen Than Chuck Norris

I realize what he be popular with some folks, but ta me the name Chuck Norris brings ta mind "champion athlete back when Nixon were prez", "utterly forgetable actor", and "source of much weak-arsed Barrens chat humor." Why Blizz would wants fer ta big bucks ta show off Barrens chat, I gots no fuhggin' clue. Ta me, makes as much sense as advertisin' a breakfast cereal by showin' off the dusty crud what accumulatifies at the bottom of the box. But I's just a simple orc, so mebbe I just cain't see the financial windfall fer ta be had from showin' a dude beatin' the crap outta a gnome. Anywho.

Here's me list of celebrities I woulda gone with, were anyone demented enough ta ask me (in no particulars order):

Gregory House, MD
Mary Lou Retton
Bert and Ernie
Herman Cain
Nancy Drew
Nancy Reagan
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Howard Hughes
Abraham Lincoln

TRANSMOGALYPSE!: Kinnavieve - The Darkest Hour

It is hard to remember now, with Arthas slain and the reclamation of the Plaguelands well under way, but there was a time when all hope seemed lost for Lordaeron. The prince had murdered he king, Naxxramas dominated the skies over Stratholme, and in its arrogance the Scarlet Crusade had degenerated into a demon-worshipping cult.

But deep in the ruins of the once-proud nation a small band of men and women refused to surrender to the night. At Light's Hope, the member of the Argent Dawn stood against the Lich King's minions, surrounded, outnumbered, unyielding.
When Arthas unleashed the Scourge Invasion against all the lands of Azeroth, it was the Argent Dawn that led the resistance. I was proud to fight at their side during this final, darkest hour, and I am proud to once again wear the armor I earned in that desperate struggle.

Shoulders: Blessed Spaulders of Undead Slaying
Hands: Blessed Gauntlets of Undead Slaying
Chest: Drakescale Breastplate
Waist: Enchanted Adamantite Belt
Legs: Direwing Legguards
Feet: Enchanted Adamantite Boots
Back:  Cape of the Black Baron
Tabard: Tabard of the Argent Dawn
Weapon: Doombringer

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Guess Who's Comin' Ta Fluggernubbin' Dinner?

Sure as hells ain't Sydney Poitier.

Mmmm. Ish delishoush turkey ya done cooked, Kate. Pashsh da cranberrish, woulda Shpencher? /belch

Did I save room fer pie? Is always room fer pie! 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Maurice: Going native

Afters spendin' time in Northrend, Maurice done felt like gettin' in touch with his not-really-Viking ancestors an' goin' full-bore Vrykul. Now, is easy fer ta find spikey shoulders and horny helms up there, but gettin' ones where the colors matched exactlies were a bit more work. Is that attention ta detail, howevers, what makes the Stormwind ladies swoon.That, and them baby blue eyes.

Head: Helm of Command
Chest: Battlechest of the Twilight Cult
Shoulders: Shoulderplates of the Abolished
Waist: Girdle of the Howling Berserker
Hands: Plate Claws of the Dragon
Legs: Iron Colossus Legplates
Feet: Volazj's Sabatons
Weapon: De-Raged Waraxe

Friday, November 18, 2011

Answering The Age Old Question

Can seven 75th season hyper-casual adventurers take down the Black Temple? Shatter its unholy walls, cast out the foul denizens, cleanse the corruption that has permeated its core? Restore it to its once proud glory?

Yeah, that'd be a "no".

After mutiple trash wipes, them Free Radicals pulled out and went and whomped on the Amphitheater of Anguish instead. They's gonna try again in a few more seasons.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Travel Times

I's seen several statements out there in the blogosphere what WoW be gettin' too easy, too many caterings ta the lazy. One examplefication of this be the portals and dungeon finders what lets ya pop halfways round the world in an eyeblink, 'stead of takin' the flight path and gettin' immersified as the world goes by. Now me personalies, I been immersed plenty over the past five years, so I like ta use that flight time fer ta take the catheter out and go fix me a sammich, but ta each his own. WoW Insider asks "Has it gone too far? Is Azeroth as a whole nothing but a staging area from which we should expect to be instantly transported to wherever we wish to go, or are we still willing to enjoy the journey to our destinations?" Piercing Howl goes farthers: "Don’t have time to travel to a dungeon? Don’t play MMO’s."

Really? Really?

It don't really fit, but I's gonna quote Sting anyhows, 'cause it sounds badass. "I do know your reputation. So I choose my words very carefully. You tell Harry ... to go fuck himself."

Let's look at some travel times, shall we?

Get ta a dungeon with DF:a few seconds
Get ta a dungeon via summoning stonea few seconds
Get ta a dungeon usin' portalsmebbe ten minutes
Get ta a dungeon without portals or flyin' mountsmebbe 20-30 minutes
Walk from north Manhattan ta south Manhattan (smallest county in US)3-4 hours, if'n ya don't get mugged or arrested
Around the world in a stripped-down haulin'-arse 747 SP24 hours
Missouri ta Oregon with Lewis and Clark18 months (mebbe half that if'n ya don't stop ta cruise fer chicks)
Simply walk into Mordor (from the Shire)18 months
Sail around the world in 15203 years, if'n ya don't get killed fer not bein' a god

Now, if'n ya feels what gettin' teleported instantlies halfway 'round the world ta Grim Batol be lazy, that's yer call. Is a subjective thing. But if'n ya does, don't be tellin' me what bein' willin ta spend a whole ten ta thirty minutes fer ta get there proves yer some sorta manly-man what has earned more right fer ta play a video game than me and mine. Yer still gettin' one helluva huge speed boost from the game, no matter how ya gets there.

Is there legitimate complaints about some of the choices Blizz makes? Yeah, I'd say so, even if the complaints is about things what don't bother me personalies. But if yer gonna complain about a 99.9% boost while cheerfullies takin' advantage of a 99% boost, I ain't gonna be fuhggin' receptive.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

And The Winner Be..... Mary

I never knows what's gonna happen when I done make these polls. I just pick a fight what amusifies me, and I throw it out there and see what you buggers think. Latest poll, we done gots Mary, Queen of Men What Wear Skirts knockin' down A Bloody Mary, 51 ta 46. The Proud Mary and The Queen Mary was way in the back, with 10 each.

This time around, we'd gonna see who sucks less when it comes ta high speed pursuitifications. Is new poll up in the sidebar, as per usuals.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Danger Mouse's Culinary Reviews

Blood Elvess. Tassste pretty much the ssame as normal elvess - not particularly bloody at all.

Ethereals. The tasste was out of thisss world! Ah-hahahahaha. Seriously, though, they are dry and dussty. Not nice at all.

Thursday, November 10, 2011


Ellspeth ain't exactlies the fastest leveler. She were the first adventurer fer ta join me team, more'n four years ago, and, well....

She's happies fer ta be flyin' fast though, especiallies what she's now in charge of farmin' weeds fer Kalishna's new inscribblin' job. I'd be buyin' weeds on the AH, but when there's like one stack of Outland herbs fer sale? Pfffft.

Me, I's happy what raisin' the funds fer ta pay fer the flight trainin' be a lot easiers than it were four years ago....

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Kinnavieve's New Hat

So, this dropped fer Kinna last night. Is got some good stats. Let's see how happy she is with it, shall we?


Stupid stinky death knight armor grumble mutter mutter mixed tier mutter grumble damn sword won't drop mutter mutter frickin' blue and frickin' burnt orange grumble grumble mutter transmogalypse frickin' now already mutter grumble grumble hideous grumble stupid stinky samwise mutter grumble stupid stinky dress grumble mutter mutter mutter grumble grumble....

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Transmogalypse Now

Wowhead done set up a tool fer scopin' out a crapton of different "sets" includin' all them random green drops what ain't really sets, with filters fer level, quality, etc. Ain't 100% awesome, but is still pretty damn shiny. If'n yer gonna mog, ya needs ta check it out.

What The History Books Will Say About These Dark Times

On December 7, 2010, Deathwing the Destroyer unleashed a devastating sneak attack upon Azeroth. Volcanoes, earthquakes, and tsunamis threatened to rip the world apart. Low-lying regions such as the Thousand Needles, Tanaris, and the Swamp of Sorrows experienced severe flooding. Tectonic upheavals shattered the Barrens, the Stonetalon Mountains, and Ashenvale. Deathwing himself landed in the Alliance capital of Stormwind, causing thousands of causalties and much destruction, before apparently losing interest and flying away to begin a months long flight around the world, leaving death and devastation in his wake.

In response to this horrific assault upon both their nations, King Varian Wrynn and Warchief Garrosh Hellscream showed unity of purpose and joint resolve by attacking each other wherever possible. There was heavy fighting in south Barrens, at Astranaar, at Stonard, and throughout the Twilight Highlands. Only in Vash'jir where the cowardly acts of the Naga resulted in the destruction of both fleets were the Horde and the Alliance unable to come to grips with each other and show their bold disdain for Deathwing.

There were some minor side issues as well, but fortunately these were dealt without distracting the leaders of the world's people. Ragnaros the Firelord appeared upon Mount Hyjal and threated to destroy the World Tree, but this was perceived to be an internal matter for the druids to work out, which they did with the help of mercenaries and a few idealist flakes like Nat Pagle and Argent Confessor Paletress. Similarly, the decision of the Zandalari to abandon their peaceful efforts and instead unify the Amani and Gurubashi and unleash Hakkar the Soulflayer upon a distracted world was clearly an internal troll matter, and was left to them to resolve. Nothing would distract the brave King and Warchief and their true allies from their noble goal of seizing control of an abandoned Kul Tiras prison. Clearly, they had both learned the lessons of Wrathgate and eschewed any notion of working together against a common foe.

About this time there were reports of heavy activity on and about Blackrock Mountain, but nobody knows what this was about and it does not appear to have led to anything.

And what will the history books have to say about 4.3? More of the same, I expect. Deathwing is an internal dragon matter, to be dealt with by them. Garrosh and Varian, leaders of the two most powerful factions in Azeroth, will continue to behave as if there is no Deathwing, no threat to the existance of the world, no thousands (if not millions) of their citizens wiped out by his actions to be avenged.

Other than Alezstrasza and those three guys in the Badlands, has any NPC shown an interest in stopping the Destroyer? Perhaps a few, but I can't think of any. In this expansion, Blizzard has abdicated any attempt to tell a compelling story, and is relying on loot and Justice Points to keep us going. Yes, it works, but don't we as customers deserve better?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Time Fer Fun!

Combine one 65th season rogue and one 85th season death knugget. Add one Army of the Dudes fer seasonin'. Shake well with Blackheart the Knucklebrain's Incite Chaos. And you, me friend, done got yerself the makins of one helluva hootenanny.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday Night Drinkings And Some Shouting Too

I'm a walking nightmare, an arshenal of doom
I kill conversations when I walk into the room.
I'm a three-line whip, I'm the shorta thing they ban....hic!

Demolition man, demolition man


The sky is red, I don’t undershtand,
Past midnight I still see the land.
People are shayin’ the woman is damned,
She makes you burn with a wave of her hand.
The city’s a blaze, the town’sh on fire.....hic!
The woman’s flames are reaching higher.
We were foolsh, we called her liar.
All I hear

There I was, just a-walkin' down the street....hic!
Shinging doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
Shnappin' my fingers and shufflin' my feet

Shinging doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do....hic!
I looked good (looked good) I looked fine (looked fine)
I looked good, I looked fine, and you nearly lost your mind!

Well, I went home with the waiter
The way I always do....hic!
How was I to know
He was with the F'shaken, too

I was PvPing in Arathi....hic!
I took a little rishk
Send lawyers, gunsh and money
Dad, get me out of this

Danger Mouse:
Deep down Lordaeron close to Quel'Lithien
Way back up in the woodsh among the evergreenss
There ssstood a log cabin made of earth and wood
Where lived an undead boy named Zombie B. Goode
Who never ever learned to read or write sho well
But he could shwing the ssword just like a ringing a bell

Go go
Go Zombie go....hic!
Go Zombie go....hic!
Go Zombie go....hic!
Go Zombie go....hic!
Zombie B. Goode!

Aglha gla aggha gha!
Garhagl algraha ghalgh ahlgra!....hic!
Gahrrl ahg aggha gahlgra!
Ahhrlgaha gha  allahgl grahahagh!

(much jumpin' and air guitar)

Gahlgha arhgl gaharghlh alglhagha!....hic!
Gha glahaggha arhgl glahaghla!
Gha! ....hic!

Fer tonight's shongs, is thanksh ta Sting (even though he shang it like a hairdresser in love), Deep Purple, Manfred Mann, Warren Zevon, Chuck Berry, and, uh, I thinks what young Galertruby said "Rogersh and Hammershtein", but it mighta been "Cannibal Corpshe", is so dang hard fer ta tell'em apart....

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Let Me Sing You The Song Of Ice And Fire

Say hello to Fink, you buggers. Team Ratshag's newest 85th season member.

20,000 Leagues Under The Blog

Got a little distracted with that BlizzCon kerfluffle and NaBloPoBoZo, but is past time fer ta get a new poll up. Last time out, Jules Verne done had clownfish fer dinner, with Ol' Cap Nemo takin' down lil' Nemo 80 ta 29. This week we's got a multiple choice cage match free-fer-all fer ya buggers.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


This here be National Novel Writin' Month, which I cain't be bothered fer ta do. Too much like work. But I is gonna participate in National Blog Postin' Month, the cheap-arsed version. Done it a few times before, and this year I's tryin' sumthin' new. Got a couple stories rattlin' around in me noggin', and I's gonna try fer ta get'em out and onta the screen. Since they's longer than usual and I's prolly gonna spew'em out all disjointed and outta order, I's puttin'em in me other blog, Need More Words. If I has sumthin' I's satisfied with at the end, I'll un-disorder them and post'em here too. If'n yer curious, I gots the first word dump here.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Is Where Kinnavieve Has A Request

Dear Blizzard,

I know you are real busy these days, with planning the expedition to Pandemonium and all. And I really love my new car door shield. It's well itemized and very solid and spikey and has that glowy thing in the middle. Please tell Nefarion I said thank you. But, if it's not too much trouble, I'd really appreciate it if you could change my pose on the armory so I don't look quite so much like I'm, um, well,  cowering behind it. It's really kind of embarassing. Thank you so much.

Light be with you,