Friday, April 27, 2012

Well This Blows

Was many years ago I done wanted fer ta make meself a Truesilver Champion. Borgosh Corebender done sent me down ta Tanaris fer ta get a buncha wind elemental farts, 'cause they was needed. Here be what I had ta say about it at the time:

"You know, it's harder than it looks to get those elemental farts. First, you gotta find the mutherhumpers, which roam all over the desert instead of staying in one spot like good little demonic manifestations. Second, when you do find one, ya gotta kill it, and they're pretty dang tough for a gust of wind. Third, the desert is crawlin' with basilisks and hyenas and giant scorpions, which are all pretty tough themselves. Finally, once you find the thing and kill it, ya gotta real quick like catch the fart in a glass vial and put the stopper in before it escapes. But I finally figured out which sand dune the buggers were spawning on, set up my camping gear, took out every dang varmint that tried to climb on my dune, and went to work. Took about a day and a half, but I got meself four breaths of wind."

Mostlies what I remember about that weekend were the glubberfumpin' waiting.  Waitin' fer a Gusting Vortex ta show itself. Wait some more. Wait some. Okay, there be one. Kill it. Okay, go back ta waitin'.

Show imaginify me reaction when I went back ta that same damn sand dune as part of me archeologifyin', an' I done saw this:

Yup, was Vortices Gustalatin' all overs the fluggerbugger. I coulda gotten me me four farts in like twenty minutes. If'n I still wanted'em. Which I don't no more, 'cause I already got'em.

Great Googly Moogly.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

If'n Ratters Was A Blizzard Non-Combat Pet Designer

Here's me suggestions fer some new pets ta add ta the game, fer the pit fightin' what we'll be doin' when Mists of Pandemonium done go live. Is one fer each category. Feels free fer ta use these, Blizz. Is no charge.

Aquatic: the Dreaded Armored Squid. Just as scary as it sounds.

Beast: Lil' Hank McCoy. Has with an' without blue fur versions.

Critter: Great googly moogly, ain't there enough critters alreadies? Fine, um, Varmint. Comes in colors - Brown Varmint, Black Varmint, Red Varmint.

Dragonkin: Zebra Whelp, 'cause them vertical stripes be slimming.

Elemental: Dallop of Whipped Cream. We ain't had enough representatives from the Plane of Deserts in the game. They's pissed about gettin' left outta Cata.

Flying: Fuhg. Ya can gives one an' everything.

Humanoid: Lil' Jack Sparrow. Wait. Sorries. Lil' Cap'n Jack Sparrow.

Magic: A top hat with bunny feet stickin' out. Hops around, like.

Mechanical: Remembers that Mythbusters episode where they done used a rocket snowplow fer ta cut a car in half? Yeah, one of thems, only little. The rocket snowplow, not the bifurcalated car.

Undead: Lil' Keith Richards.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Who's Got The Right Stuff Now, Beeyatch?

So in our last poll, James Bond's tuxedo put in a solid performance, receiving 62 votes ta Chuck Yeagers's flight suit's 31 and Madonna's Egypto-Greco-Burlesquo-inspired .... thing's 17. Spiffy.

This week, we's lookin' at two of the biggest badarses evers what ain't me. Make yer choice in the sidebar, as usuals.

Sunday, April 22, 2012


Maurice: Hello, my sweet magical buttercup. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove. I am here in the Halls of Reflection to find for myself some new armor for the Transmogalypse. Gauntlets, perhaps, an also some pauldrons. I know, you were expecting five heroes, but ha ha! I am heroic enough, all on my own! Perhaps, when I am finished, you and I, we could do some, how you say? Reflecting, yes that is it, reflecting of our own. I am, after all a very handsome man, dead, yes, but still most handsome. And you, you have a delightful belly, with just the right curves to satisfy a man such as myself, and surprisingly high above the ground, no? Yes? Come, my scrumptious sarsaparilla of sweet, sweet surrender, shall we not yield to the inevitable? You feel it too, do you not? The energy, the chemistry, it pulls us together, makes us yearn for one another, makes you hunger for the loving only a true man can offer. Come, give yourself to me, and we shall be as thunder and ice upon the shore! What say you, beauteous woman?

Jaina: Shh, I'm trying to think here.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Death Knugget Of Bad Arsed Epicosity

Is big hairy Congo rats ta Maurice fer the double cheevement last night. In a surprise move, he now be the Team's best geared tank - was thanks ta Varo'then the Sap droppin' his brooch. Maurice sez he's gonna be standin' by the Stormwind mailbox all weekend ladies, feels free ta come by an' swoon.

Friday, April 13, 2012

One Sentence

"Yay, we five done cleared the Dungeon of Nasty Things, and killed the Demon What Drops Phat Lewt! Bob an' Fred, you guys did a real good job, so thankee. Susan and Marie, you both look real purdy."

Can ya see why this ain't cool, and oughtta be changed, even if'n it don't offends you personally? If not, well then.

Try. Again.

Meanwhiles, if ya thinks what changin' one sentence means an NPC ain't no longer unique an' colorful an' interestin', then he weren't really all that ta begin with, was he?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Just Another Day In Blog Azeroth

[09:50] Rev: what's new?
[09:50] Ratshag: exalted with Therazane
[09:50] Rev: yay!
[09:51] Ratshag: (again)
[09:51] Rev: did she grab your ass?
[09:51] Ratshag: and slipped me the tongue
[09:51] Rev: mmmmm
[09:51] Jed: i...dont think i did that daily

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Unintended Consequences Edition

So, Ellspeth done went ta Ungoro Crater recentlies, and....

Wait, why is the little hoppy fish man staring at my forehead? OMG, am I getting a zit? No, that's impossible - I sacrificed those three babies to Uzglquotzl the Devourer for eternally unblemished skin.... Is there a bug on me? Did someone write something on me in permanent ink while I was asleep? Was it my voidwalker? Ratters, WHY IS THE LITTLE HOPPY FISH MAN STARING AT MY FOREHEAD???

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Some Definitions

 Oceanographer. noun One who studies the branch of physical geography dealing with the ocean. 

Limnologist. noun One who studies bodies of fresh water, such as lakes and ponds, with reference to their physical, geographical, biological, and other features.

Bugfuhg crazy OCD amazingly virile orc what ain't right in the head an' has way too much fluggernubbin' time. noun One who flies all overs Azeroth an' beyond fer ta get both achievements in a day.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

They Won't Dance. Don't Ask Them.

"'Cause yer friends don't dance, an' if they don't dance then they's no friends of mine," said Heigan the Unclean Undies, an' Phoenicia an' her friends said "pfffft." Then they proceeded fer ta burn his diseased arse down before he done made it ta Phase Two. No dancin' required. An fer icin' on the cake, he caughed up the wee li'l mace what Phoe had been hankerin' for fer her transmogalypse set.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Is April Fools Drunken Singin' Featurin' Galertruby An' The Dragonettes

Alex and Ysera, they's kinda at loose ends now what they ain't immortal Aspects no mores. Alex, she got like five thousand drakelings drivin' her nuts day an' night, pesterin' her ta turn Grim Batol inta a casino / destination resort and the like, an' Ysera's mom's been callin' her wantin' fer ta know when she'd gonna find herself a nice dragon with a steady job an' get hitched (mom ain't gettin' any younger, ya know). So when young Galertruby done asked'em fer ta come sing backup on his Kalimdor / North American tour, they jumped at the chance.

Glah gallah agglaha gha
Arlhgha aggl galha gaha ...hic!
Gahlglaha gha glahgal ahlgrah
Glagglh algha galargh glaha

The Dragonettes:
Galertruby, oh no
Me gotta go ...hic!
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Galertruby, oh baby ...hic!
Me gotta go

Aglha-gha-glahagl ahl ...hic!
Galha aggl glahagl ahg
Glagha gaha alhgra ghla
Ghagaga ahl gahrgla galhg ...hic!

The Dragonettes:
Galertruby, oh no
Me gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I shaid
Galertruby, oh baby
Me gotta go ...hic!

Glalg gha!

Is thanks ta the Kingsmen fer the lyrics, intelligibles an' otherwise.