Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Is Big Grats Ta Tantria What Gives Goo-whegh hagh blech

Whew. Sorries about that. Got me some splinters in me tongue, and sometimes they cause speachifying issues. Where were I?
Oh yeah! Is big hairy congo rats ta me little friend Tantria What Gives Good Screaming Death. Way back when, when I were just an orcling in me 23rd season, that spunky 15th season warlock said fer me ta polish and grease me hooves fer she were chasing me and planned on a-catching me. (When I reminded her I were an orc and not a tauren and therefore ain't got no hooves, she told me ta go polish whatevers needed polishing and grease whatever needed greasing. So I did) Well, it done took over two years, but the little lady done caught and passed me, dinging 80 when I still gots me a season ta go. So is a very warm grats to her!

Oh, and Tantria? I's totally digging yer day-glow tabard of boob-enhancing.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Saturday Night Drunken Singings

Now on the day I war born,
The nurses all gathered 'round.
They gazed in wide wonder
At the virility they had found.
The head nurshe spoke up -
Said leave this one alone.
She could tell right away
That I were bad ta the bone.

Baaaaaaaaaaad ta the bone.
Baaaaaaaaaaad ta the bone.
B-b-b-baad! ...hic!
Whoo! Baaaaaaaaaaaad ta the bone!

Ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall!
Ninety-shix bottles of beer! *swig*
You take one down, pass it around,
Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall

Danger Mouse:
Grandpa's cannibalizing Ssister Sally
Grandma's a walking corpshe now
The cattle all have got the Scourge
We'll get through somehow.

Ssweet home Lordaeron
Play that dead man's song ...hic!
Turn the speakersss up full blasht!
Play it all night long.

*scratch a flea*

Seventy-one bottles of beer on the wall! ...hic!
Sheventy-one bottles of beer! *swig*
You take one down, pass it around,
Seventy bottlesh of beer on the wall!

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who shwallowed a horse
She's dead, of course! ...hic!

Hee hee, I love just skipping to the ending!

Aggla ahaggl glarha gha!
Gagglha gahahgglh algagagrhahg
Gralgha glah agghahgla alhga gla!
Galhg glarlgha gagahahg ahlghalagh ...hic!
*rythmic slapping of tabletop*
Gaghal argaha aggrha glaglha!
*jumping up and down, flailing*

Thirty-sheven frickin' bottlesh of beer on the wall! ...hic! *swig*
Thirty-frickin bottlesh of beer! ...hic! *swig*
Ya take it down passh it 'round! ...hic! *swig*
Twenty-eleven bottlesh of beer on the wall! ...hic! *swig*

I see treesh of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myshelf what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark shacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Is Not Just Another Big Axe

Is the axe. Is the axe what makes us warriors. Nobody else can has one, not retadins, not shammies, not even death nuggets. And now in me Orctacles outfit I has the Whirlwind Axe once again.
Is big, big thanks ta me friend Bellwether fer takings the time ta come down ta the Alteracs fer ta help me get it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Is 'Cause Mystic Nibbles Wanted It

What be in a name?

Me and me kid brother Gogmoth, we be named fer famous orc heroes of old times. Me fer Shagrat, the captain of Cirith Ungol, and him fer Gothmog, the Witch King's lieutenant. Ma just liked fer ta mix the letters up a bit. Now, don't go believin' everything what ya reads about these buggers in the history books. Old Tolkien, he were prejudicified against orcs.

Ellspeth, she be named fer the beautiful, brave princess in Dragonslayer. Course, that one got barbequeued and eatified, which were pretty funny.

Danger Mouse? Well, if you was a tiny vicious killing machine, wouldn't ya like that a lot better than "Nancy Burnside"? I think so.

Sally Shears, what you buggers ain't met yet (she's a Death Knight of the gnomish persuasion what hangs with Lady Jess) got her name from classic literature. Sally Shears, aka Molly Millions, aka just Molly, were a jacked-up, silver-eyed, razors-in-her-fingertips street fighter in Gibson's Sprawl books. "'Steppin' Razor. Like unto a whippin' stick ... An' you bring a scourge on Babylon, sister, on its darkest heart....'" Seemed ta fit.

Palintera, Vyprania, Alayda, and Dakoneris, they's names is just names.

Kinnavieve's ma wanted fer ta name her Genevieve, but that were taken, along's with every whacked-out variant ya can imagine. So she changed it a bit.

Maurice be named fer Maurice Chavalier. "Oh, thank heaven, fer leetle girls..."

Phoenicia's name were 'cause Team Ratshag's RL friends were playing on Cenarion Circle again, after being gone from Azeroth fer many months. So it were a rebirth of sorts. That, and she got red hair.

Galertruby? Well, obviously the lad couldn't tell me his real name, so I just hit the "random name" button, and that's what popped up. He seemed ta like it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Is Where Kinnavieve Suffers An Indignity

Kitty went on to extol holy bananas, how they were just like paladins. Tough and unpleasant on the outside, but full of yummy goodness on the inside. That boy ever tries to find out how yummy my goodness is, Ima gonna break his frickin jaw.

Mutter mutter frickin bananas mutter lunatic mutter dwarf hunters mutter mutter got my pride mutter mutter better not mutter HIS banana mutter.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Fuhggin' Right I's Ratshag

And there's reasons them buggers dread me. I's one tough glubberthunker, and you's about to find out fer yerself.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Vyp Totally Got Them Bunnies

It was a long journey to the Stormspire. I am still only in my 62nd season, and in theory have no business crossing the Blades Edge Mountains and negotiating the ruined lands of Netherstorm by myself. But I am a Death Knight, selected by Arthas himself and forged in the war against the Scarlet Crusade. The animals and ogres and strange monsters which sought to interfere with my mission quickly learned that I am not to be trifled with.

I was buying bunnies, and I would not be stopped.

I eventually made it to the outpost of those strange aliens the Ethereals. And there I found the one I had heard of, the exotic pets dealer. And he had some strange creatures, wyrmlings and dragonhawks and cockroaches, but I was only after the brown rabbits, which can be found nowhere else.

One for Feral, and one for Pali. Because they are my friends.

They Totally Got Vyp A Bunny

The rabbit my new friends Feralicious and Palintera got me... it is soft and warm and it doesn't mind that I am dead or that I have murdered my friends.

It doesn't scream at me in the night, waking me up in a cold sweat.

I like it.

I want to do something to nice for them.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Is Why There Ain't Been Many Flubbernuggin' Posts Latelies

Our RL avatar done went and caught hisself a case of "Having a Life". Is a little bit good, and a little bit not so much, but mostly is fuhggin' time consumings. So me and the team be workings fer ta see if it be somethin' what can be got rid of best by Dispellificationizings, or Decleansings or mebbe just a real big axe. "Til we does, we's gonna keep kickin' the bugger's arse ta get at least a few posts up now and thens. Thankee fer bearing with.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Everythings Is Looking Like Nails

Them goblins, they does love ta make money while they watch a buncha fuppertuggers beat the crap outta each other. One place they likes ta get it on be the Amphitheater of Anguish, out in Zul'drak. Trolls, they all be compulsive gamblers, so even though things be all goin' befreakers there, what with priests killin' gods and flyin' ziggurflubbers showin' up and installin' plague cauldrons, a buncha them come ta the amphitheater fer ta place they's bets. And them goblins, they take a cut outta each bet.

Well, there be nice rewards fer thems what can do the crap outta beating, so me and me guildies swung by the other night. We done took out a buncha tough guys, including one hunkertuggin Tuskarr with a nasty AoE penguin attack. And afters, we got us some loots. Me, I took the Mace of Bigger-Than-A-Blood-Elf. Now, when I's runnin' in me dworc disguise I gots me the Lollipop of Doom (which I never could convince Shu ta put Executioner on, the bugger) but in me natural orcish state I ain't had a mace ta swing since the summon fer an hour then go poof Mithril Order Smacker. So I hadda go find me some buggers willin' fer ta be me nails while I skilled up a bit. Fortunately, is plenty of volunteers in Northrend.
I dunno, ya think it's big enough?