Friday, February 27, 2015

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Sons Of Anachronisms

After years of runnin' from the auction house ta the bank ta some profession vendor ta the auction house, Boy Friday an' J. P. Worgen has done patched in. Course, as hard workin' bank alts they's got weighty matters on they's minds an' cain't be bothered what with drivin' theyselves....

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Is Where Galertruby Explainifies The Random 6.1 Vendors

Lotta folks was a little bafflefied by Blizzard's decision fer ta make all the random vendors what sells tier 4 craftin' recipes an' primal spirits fer trade goods be set by region. So, yesterday, everybodies in the U.S. done got the tailorin' vendor. Wanted fer ta buy the recipe fer the new alchemist trinket? Gotta wait. Wanted ta trade in 30k of herbs fer savage bloods? Gotta wait. Well, what if'n I go ta a guildie's garrison? Nope, same vendor. Hows about usin' RealID fer ta visit the garrison of a friend what plays in a different serververse? Nope, same vendor.

Some folks was so unpleased what they even used bad words on the official forums.

Me, I ain't in no hurry, but I does be perplexified by the design choice. But no worries, Galertruby the Profound has looked inta it, and has done deduced the logic behind Blizz's thinkifyin'. An' now he's gonna explain it ta you buggers.

Garhhl. Gahhl galha Garrrahhalagh.

Gllah gahr allahhgrl ghallagl gah. Agh glahhgl glahhgl garrh gahhlahr glahhr, ga gallhahl! Aglhha gahllragl gllah aghhrla gahhllrah gah glaghhlh glahh. Aghahll garhhr glahhlglhaarhga ghallah allha, garrharlh agghal ga arhhh galahhargh. Glallh garrh, gahhlahglahhr agglh ahghlagl glagglha ga arhhh.

Gaghaha aglah agghr laghalagh grahagl, gaghaha glhahg agrgha laghahrag. Glhaggla agg larhg galhagga ghaha alahg, glah, gahaghga gahlgal allahg glha. Glaglha gha, aggrahgl lahg gahhaglarh. Garrh glahaggl glha agghalarg agglahar ghaggl aglha. Agglh ahghlagla agh grrhal, gallha gra gahhllha gallraghl ahl lagglarh. Gahhaga gahagrl!

Glahhgrl glah arrlh aggrhala gahhl glha. Glahg grahhglh glhhlhalha gahhr garrha, aglh glhha gharhl. Glhagl gllha ahhr glahhlglhaarhga ghallah allhag. Gllha garrharlh aglhha gahllragl. Gllah aghhrla gahhllrah gah glaghhlh glahh, gahhl aghhr garahhghlahhrgh aghraahl glhahhl gahhlah. Glah aghr Ghrallhahl gha gahrrlagahr agh gahlagh. Agghlagh garrh arhhlagh gahl grah glahhghl. Glahgl arhlg glah.

Glhargal glah agglha arglhaglh, gahalg aggla gahrlagghl. Laggharlag agglha gah. Aglh aglha gallh gahll gahrrallah. Agrhh glagglha gha ghrallhalha ghagglha gaharrgh glha agglahg, agh argalagh gahhll garhh ahhghr glahh.

Alhhagh gha,

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Successful Hotel Slogans

"Feel the Hyatt Touch."

"The Right Way. The Wyndham Way."

"Relax, it’s Holiday Inn."

"The best surprise is no surprise."

"Discover a hotel that defines a new dimension of luxury."

You buggers notice a pattern? That's right! Ain't none of them hotel chains goes aroun' braggin' "Our innkeeper gots lice!"

Or mebbe he eats lice. Is kinda a ambiguosity, an' I ain't really all that anxious fer ta find out either way.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The Horror. The Horror.

Yeah, remember what a crapfest the Blades Edge Mountains were? Turns out, it were an improvement. Gorgrond done took the worst parts of Utah and the Congo, through 'em in a blender, then added some unmentioned bodily fluids an' served it up in a fluggernubbin' martini glass. Is all the yuck. We gots ancient rock demigods throwin' down with ancient plant demigods. We gots wasps big enough fer ta throw a saddle on. We gots funguses infectin' yer brain an' totallies makin' you they's bitch.

An' we got innocent lil' kids bein' forced ta eat .... fruit.

Monday, February 16, 2015

How's Ta Buy Savage Bloods Fer 125g

Is easy. Catch is, ya gots ta be patient.

So, in patch 6.1, is gonna be a random vendor showin' up in yer garrison. I's pretty sure the plan is gonna be what there's always a vendor, just a different one each day. Anywho, they's the buggers what's gonna sell the recipes fer the tokens what'll upgrade crafted items ta tier 4. They also is gonna offer a daily quest fer ta exchange 50 ore or herbs or hides or whatevers fer 25 primal spirits - which trade good depends on the vendor. An' then - this be the good part - the will sell you 1 spirit fer 5 trade goods, again which one depends on which vendor.

Remembers all them ores an' herbs what we can barely gives away, 'cause everybodies has they's mines an' gardens? You will be ables fer ta buy an unlimited number of primal spirits with 'em.

I suggests you buggers thinks on that fer a minute. I know I has, an' I's just a simple orc.

Five crappy arsed nagrand arrowbloomers or blackrock candies or firehemps ta buy a spirit. Fifty spirits ta buy a savage blood. Yer mileage may vary, but I's findin' what it ain't hard ta get herbs an' ore on the AH fer fifty pieces of silver. Barely more'n the goin' rate fer ta betray an incarnatified deity.

Whazzit work out to? I'd say buggered if I know 'cause mathifyin' hurts me head, but I alreadies had J. P. Worgen, bank alt whiz, work it out fer me. Is 125 gold ta buy each blood. Prices is fallin' but I's still seein' 600-700 gold fer the fluggernubbers on the AH. So this be quite a bits better, if'n yer in a buyin' mood an' can affords ta wait a bit fer the payoff.

Just thought I'd share that bit of analysizations with you buggers.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Technical Difficulties

Had me some spare time the other day, so I sez to meself, "Self? Now what we's in our hundredth season an' all, let's celebratize by goin' ta the Firelands and grindin' us some rep?" An' I agreed what that sounded like an excellent idea. So as a shortcut ta Everlook, I fired up me Dimensional Ripper an' let one rip.

But is been a while since I done used it, an' in me excitements I kinda forgot what there be some technical issues in the design. Like, it can set you on fire an' burninate ya to death if'n ya ain't got a cheeseburger or somethin' fer ta scarf down real fast-like.


Well, this is awkward.

But once I got meself not dead no more an' popped over ta the Firelands, things went a lot better. Anticlimacticals, even.

Yeah, Ragnaros, I think a lotta the exotic wimmenz would agrees - only lastin' 1 minute an' 20 seconds is too soon. Mebbe next time try thinkin' about baseball or sumthin'.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Could Be Worse

Beetle the Warrior (don't let them pink ponytails fool ya, that tasty piece of gnomeflesh is as amazingly virile as they come) were in Pinchwhistle Gearworks, down Spires of Arakakakak way, when she done ran inta a coupla navigationaly challengified adventurers with dirty feet. Kalaena the Belfmage were none to happy abouts the situation:

Meanwhiles, Dead Douglas were doin' his best fer ta take it in stride:

Beetle pointed out it coulda been worse - they coulda wandered inta Pinchwhistle Point an' become snacks fer the local mushrooms:

Heat, oppressive humidity, infectious fungus - kinda sounds like Houston, don't it? Prolly gots a better football team, though.