Too Sexy Fer His Belt Buckle

Hello, beauteous ladies. (And you as well, gentlemen who are not as sexy as me.) I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Love.

Do you like my belt buckle? Are you not impressed with it's many long, curvy horns? Can you not help but admire its long, dangling danglers? Does it not feel you with awe for what magnificence must be concealed behind?

Remember, beauteous ladies, many others may wear the Ironcrusher's Collar, but they are merely hollow men, desperately seeking to hide their inadequacies. I, however, the Death Knight of Love, use it to gird my loins confidently and boldly, for it is a mere appetizer for the delicious meal yet to come.

Transmogaflirtation

Maurice: Hello, my sweet magical buttercup. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove. I am here in the Halls of Reflection to find for myself some new armor for the Transmogalypse. Gauntlets, perhaps, an also some pauldrons. I know, you were expecting five heroes, but ha ha! I am heroic enough, all on my own! Perhaps, when I am finished, you and I, we could do some, how you say? Reflecting, yes that is it, reflecting of our own. I am, after all a very handsome man, dead, yes, but still most handsome. And you, you have a delightful belly, with just the right curves to satisfy a man such as myself, and surprisingly high above the ground, no? Yes? Come, my scrumptious sarsaparilla of sweet, sweet surrender, shall we not yield to the inevitable? You feel it too, do you not? The energy, the chemistry, it pulls us together, makes us yearn for one another, makes you hunger for the loving only a true man can offer. Come, give yourself to me, and we shall be as thunder and ice upon the shore! What say you, beauteous woman?

Jaina: Shh, I'm trying to think here.

Death Knugget Of Bad Arsed Epicosity

Is big hairy Congo rats ta Maurice fer the double cheevement last night. In a surprise move, he now be the Team's best geared tank - was thanks ta Varo'then the Sap droppin' his brooch. Maurice sez he's gonna be standin' by the Stormwind mailbox all weekend ladies, feels free ta come by an' swoon.

Then And Now: The Way We Was

If'n ya reads this blog, then ya know what pictures of me an' the rest of the Team be kinda a big part of it. An' if ya don't read it, well then ya ain't readin' this an' so there ain't really no reason fer me ta done fini

 Vidyala had this post the other day where she had this pic of herself from the early days and a pic of her today self. I thought were kinda interestin', so I went an' dug through the old crap (includins the crap in me original blog, Diary of an Upwardly Mobile Orc) and found the earliest pic fer a bunch of us. Then I took a brand new pic of everybodies (without warnin' so nobodies had time fer ta go change an' make theyselves presentable haha!). Is a few haircut changes a lotta gear changes, heirlooms, heirlooms swapped, transmogrifyin', an' tranmopathy goin' on. We's like that.

Anywho, here we is:

Ratshag Jan 26, 2007

There be me, jumpin' up an' down like a loon just 'cause I'd done made it ta the Stonetalon Mountains. Whoo hoo, a new zone. Way fer ta start the blog off with class and dignity, kid. Gear's changed, of course. Id done tried out some new hairstyles in Northrend but ended up goin' back ta me gray and braids look. Just felt right, ya know. What don't show is the miles on the feet an' the notches on the belt, but you buggers alreadies knew about them.

Ellspeth April 4, 2007

Ellspeth, the team's first 'lock. Puld her outta a Silvermoon orphanage an' set her ta work. Still the same hair. Still the same showin' off her skin. Still psychotic as a glubbernugger.

Gogmoth December 22, 2007

Me kid brother. We was inta 'locks there fer a bit there, weren't we? no real changes here.

Danger Mouse January 9, 2008

Mouse. Still impatient, still a killer, still sportin' that natural dead hairstyle. She done hadda make a name change when she joined me on the Cenarion Circle serververse, but that be about all. And we still know what her real name is.

Ratdorf January 15, 2008

Me, transmogrified inta a dwarf priest. That's right, I were inta transmogrifyin' before it were cool. Over the names I done changed me official name in this form from "Ratshag" ta "Ratdorf", and I done lost the Santa Claus look fer a shorter, braided black-colored stylin'. Get fewer mice livin' in it, that way.

Galertruby January 21, 2008

He's far too busy bein' profound fer ta actuallies go aware or do anythin'. But we loves him anywho.

Alayda February 15, 2008

Alayda the festive shaman. She likes fer ta change her hair every six months or so, so the blue topknow be long gone. Is currently a green mohawk. Still got her tusks though - Alayda be a proud troll beauty an' ain't got no interest in tryin' fer ta look like a elf girl.

Palintera April 15, 2008

Pali's come a long way in Cataclysm, in every respect. She's changed her appearance several times, but always ends up comin' back ta wear she started. 'Course, a lotta the time she looks like a big laser-firin' chicken, but we ain't showin' that today.

Orctacles May 19, 2008

See if'n ya can tell what changed here.

Phoenicia June 14, 2008

The Red Hawt Dwarf Chick is still Red Hawt, roflcopter braids an' all, even if'n ya cain't see'em in this pic. What do be different is she started off prot an' now be fury fury screamin-like-a-loonie fury.

Kinnavieve October 9, 2008

Kinna came on board right at the end of the Burninatin' Crusade, an' I trained her up with the hopes what she could be me replacement as the Team's raider. An' she done succeeded an' made me real proud. Changed her hair and got a lot tougher, but inside she's still that little lumberjack's daughter from Nowhereshire, Elwynn Forest what were taggin' along after me. How'd we get both of us in the same picture? That be a good fuhggin' question....

Vyprania November 14, 2008

Requiescat in pace September 16, 2010

Don' really feel like talkin' 'bout Vyp, just now.

Maurice December 21, 2008

Still the Death Knight of Loooove. Still sportin' that 70s pornstache an' drivin' the wimmenz of Stormwind .... elsewhere.

Jinnik July 10, 2010

Heirlooms. Hard fer ta shake'em, although at some point they's gonna get transmogged inta Ruthless Gladiatiors. Not a lot's changed fer the team's only healer, although she been spendin' more time in BGs than dungeons of late.

The Warrior With No Name August 5, 2010

Still sportin' a mustache so sharp it'll pierce his helmet. Still got no name, even though he done gone from bein' a lowlie bank alt ta GM of the Free Radicals.


Some of the Team members, especiallies thems what joined after the Shattering, don't really done gotten much attention here in the blog, at least nots yet. Mebbe some other time there'll be a retrospectalizin' fer Fink an' Creighton an' Goblin Hunter Boy (By Night Known As Fezziwhig) an' Justina Price Worgen. But that won't be today, 'cause then it would be now an' not then.

Is Where Maurice Goes To Vortex Pinnacle

Hello beauteous ....

(Is it still a lady when it is just some gas wearing a few pieces of armor? The Dungeon Journal says she is? We are sure? Well then. Ooh la la!)

Hello beauteous lady. It is I, Maurice, the Death Knight of Love. Perhaps you have heard of me, yes? No? Ah, it is no matter. We are, after all, a very, very long way from Stormwind, where the ladies all know my face and run and hide and bar the doors, for elsewise their emotions would run away with them and they would swoon with unrestrained passion.

Tonight, my sweet artichoke of amor, you will be giving me your undivided attention. You will be unable to help yourself, for I have the Blood Presence, the Dark Pact, and the delectable Death Grip. I am also, of course, far more handsome than my, to be honest, rather crude and unrefined companions. So you shall have eyes only for me as they, regrettably, kill you. But do not be concerned, my scrumptious petunia of obsession, for what we feel for one another is True Love. How can it be less? And True Love can never be stopped by such a little thing as death. I know these things, for I am the Death Knight of Love.

Is Where Maurice Gets An Assistant

The Death Knight of Looove and Kwee Q. Peddlefeet, in cahoots. The wimmenz of Stormwind ain't standin' a chance now (so he tells me).

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Maurice: Going native

Afters spendin' time in Northrend, Maurice done felt like gettin' in touch with his not-really-Viking ancestors an' goin' full-bore Vrykul. Now, is easy fer ta find spikey shoulders and horny helms up there, but gettin' ones where the colors matched exactlies were a bit more work. Is that attention ta detail, howevers, what makes the Stormwind ladies swoon.That, and them baby blue eyes. Head: Helm of Command Chest: Battlechest of the Twilight Cult Shoulders: Shoulderplates of the Abolished Waist: Girdle of the Howling Berserker Hands: Plate Claws of the Dragon Legs: Iron Colossus Legplates Feet: Volazj's Sabatons Weapon: De-Raged Waraxe

Yes, Maurice Is Still Maurice....

As Lady Jess can testify

For All The Beauteous Ladies

It's a hunka hunka burnin' Death Knight of Love.

Drunken Friday Night Singings, Featurings Maurice

Is you ready, you buggersh?
I said, "Ish you ready??!?"


*Cue music*

Maurice:
Oh! When they walk past him,
The women all faint ...hic!

Team:
Death! Knight! Of! Love!

Maurice:
Absorbent and yellow
And porous he ain't ...hic!

Team:
Death! Knight! Of! Love!

Maurice:
They just cannot help it
The ladies all swoon ...hic!

Team:
Death! Knight! Of! Love!

Maurice:
And now we have come to
The end of this tune ...hic!

Team:
Death! Knight! Of! Love!
Death! Knight! Of! Love!
Death! Knight! Of! Love!
Death Knight! Of Loooove!

Too Sexy For His Saronite

So Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove, done wants ta get his enchanting skills up so as to be ables ta DE stuff what be tougher than Northrend gear. I's thinking he done slipped a cog or three, fer everyone knows ain't nuthin better than the Northrend drops. But whatevers; is his life. Or unlife.

But the trainers won't talks ta him no mores unless he got some more miles under his feet and notches in his bedpost, so this weekend he left the comforts of making the ladies swoon as he stands next ta the Stormwind mailbox, and headed off fer Outland. Is still some good guys there what be willing ta pay ya fer killing bad guys, so he was ables ta bust some heads and season up a bit.

And alongs the way, he done picked up this truly dashing clown outfit. Yeah, that'll definitely bring the ladies ta the yard.

Is Where Maurice Finds A New Interest

Well, hello there, my sweet little apple blossom. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove, and I am preparing a Heart Strike just for you.

Morani? What a lovely little name, for such a lovely little person. Did you know it sounds like "moron"? Ha ha, it is to laugh. I made a joke, did you not see? Now you must laugh too.

Oh, so you have heard of me? I am not surprised, for the ladies, they do talk. No doubt, many who have swooned from my overwhelming presence have gone home to tell their friends. They discuss how wonderful it would be to possess me, do they not? Perhaps some yearn for something delightfully outré, such as a ménage à cinq, or perhaps even à sept? Ho ho, they are so delightfully naughty.

You are a paladin, I see. It is a noble calling is it not? I was once a paladin. Maurice, the Paladin of Looove they called me, the scrumptious ladies of Lordaeron, and oh how the swooned as I walked past. I wore glorious armor, and wielded a mighty sword.... Ah-ha, but I do still wield a mighty sword. No doubt you are anxious to see it.

Ah, so it is Kinnavieve has mentioned me to you? Yes, my jaw has healed nicely, thank you. Such a feisty vixen, that one. So full of energy and a zest for life. Clearly she wishes me to pursue her more, but I am too cunning for such a simple game. No, I am biding my time, laying a trap, waiting for her needs and urges to become so great that she must needs come to me.

She has been training you to be a Soldier of the Light too? Ha ha, that is noble of her. But my sweet little nectarine of passion, you are a dwarf! You are too short to be a soldier! And it is a hard, cold life. Come, let me carry you off to my bunker of love, where you will rest on silk sheets, and smoke the finest hashish in the hookah, and I will teach you how to use your tongue to-

**WHAM**

-a- a -i-e -i-, -y -e-i----u- -e-u-ia. -o -o- -o--y, -y -a- --a-- -ea- -oo-, a-- --e- -e -a- --ay --e -a-e a-ai-! Au -e-oi-!

Is Where Kinnavieve Cries Out NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hello, Kinnavieve, my sweet cauliflower of righteous passion!

Yes, it is I, Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove! I have transversed the twisting nether to join you in your new serververse. I shall again wait at the Stormwind mailbox, disenchanting items you find in your campaigns and allowing the beauteous ladies the opportunity to swoon in my presence. But in the evenings, ooh-la-la! I shall be all yours! Is it not so sweet!

What did you say, my darling eggplant? I am afraid I could not hear clearly - it sounded something like "Ima brekkiz frickin jaw."

Death Knight Haiku

The beauteous druid from BBB has requested that I write her a haiku. But of course, my sweet shapeshifting chrysanthemum.

Irresistible
I am the Death Knight of Love
Windshadow wants me

And now, I shall tag some of the lovely ladies of Drenden. Ah, what fun this game is! Tag! Ha-ho! Tag!
Cayleigh, of Married IRL
Jessika, of Pretty in Plate
Keredria, of Tree of Life
and, of course, my sweet apple blossom of desire, Vonyari of the Egotistical Priest

Great Googly Moogly, Now He's An Achievement

A Letter to Vonya

Love is in the air, my sweet hyacinth of discipline. Can you not smell it? Perhaps you can smell the fine cologne I am wearing - few men would be willing to go to the extravagance of one silver coin a bottle, but a beauteous lady like yourself is well worth it. It's lovely fragrance has been causing the ladies of Stormwind to give me their Pledges of Adoration when I give them my Looove Tokens. Some men might be afraid to admit to having passed their tokens out to other ladies, but I know you are a sophisticated woman of the world, and understand that a man cannot limit himself.

Do I not look dashing in my new Dinner Suit? And Bonemuncher, is she not lovely in her Red Dress? Or his, I have never been quite sure... Bonemuncher! Stop eating the friendship rings - they are not for you! Where was I? Ah, yes. We found them in a mad alchemist's bubbling cauldron of green ooze. Where better to find fine attire?

Tonight, you and I will share a Romantic Picnic dinner in someplace romantic and secluded. Such as the Pestilant Scar, no? I will shower you with rose petals, and feed you sweet morsels from from a box of chocolates, and playfully pull your tail. And as the passion builds, I will show you my love rocket, and you can show me you bag of candies. I will make your blood boil with excitement, and you can do that ... thing ... with your horns. I am not quite sure what it is, but that foul orc assures me it is quite worth the effort.

I shall pick you up at eight tonight, my darling petunia, and we shall make it an evening to remember. Ah, but first! There is a lovely young guard, and she is in desparate need of my love token. Until tonight, you shall have to content yourself with the memory of me and my amazingness, and swoon.

Is Where Maurice Hits on AC

Hello, beauteous lady. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Love, and I am most pleased that you have the opportunity to meet me. 

Shianti? What a lovely name. So exotic, just like your ... ah ... purple hair.

The priestess Vonyari? She means nothing to me, my sweet petunia, for you are here and she is not. For now, I wish only to apply my wonderful lovings to you, and-

I smell like a goat too? Yes, that is a small side effect of my being dead. But trust me, my mango blossom of loveliness, you will soon forget that, as I-

...

She turned into a bird and flew away. They can do that now?

What a sweet little morsel of loveliness you are, my dear. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Love, and the pleasure is yours, I know.

PetsAreUs is a very ... well ... descriptive name, my little mousling. Ah, you are flushed with excitement to have caught my attention. And soon, we shall ... ah ... Did you know your dog has two heads and is on fire?

You do? Well, no matter, we can chain him to the lamp post outside my Domicile of Love while I take you to places ...

Gumdrop? Helllloooooo.....

She appears to be dead. That is rather, ah, disappointing. I was getting, well, in the mood, and now I am unsatisfied. 

My goodness, little buttercup, you are scarcely more than a mouthful. It must be exciting for you to have caught the eye of a real man like Maurice, the Death Knight of Love.

Giduhduhdge? Gidduhdge? Ah, Giddg. Ha ha, I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat!

Trust me, my little maraschino cherry, I shall be gentle with your tiny body, as I show you how I can be both the meat and the motion-

Yes, I know, I am dead. But it is a mere inconvenience. Your desire for me will, I know, let you see past that, as I inflame-

Ah.... where did she go? She was right here, just a second ago. Oh little sugared dumpling, where are you...?

Look! down the street there, it is Vonyari. Ho ho, I hear she is into discipline now. What fun we shall have together as we take turns. Oh! She has turned around and is walking away quickly on her little hooves. She wishes me to give chase! What sport this woman has in her. Ha ha, I shall not disappoint her. The game is afoot!

Guest Blogger: Maurice

	Hello. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove. In days gone by, I was known as Maurice, the Paladin of Looove, and the beauteous ladies of Lordaeron would swoon as I walked past in my wondrously bright armor.  Now, after my slight, ahem, mishap, I am living in Stormwind City and I look forward to many great conquests here. I am still every bit as dashing as when I was alive, plus now I have that special, back-from-the-grave je ne sais quoi.
	But first, that foul orc Ratshag, whose employ I was forced to accept, told me I should join the guild he is associated with. Since a guild provides many opportunities for the ladies to meet me, I could see this was one of his few clever ideas (he is a rather simple orc, you see). So I approached one of the officers and introduced myself. I explained how I fulfill a critical duty, standing by the mailbox and disenchanting incoming items. She was, of course, thrilled beyond belief at the opportunity to have a dashing hero such as myself in her guild.
	Once I had been officially initiated into the organization, I quickly made myself known. After all, ha ha, there will be much demand for my time once the ladies get to know me. We should get this process started then as soon as possible, I thinks. Of course, some of the men in the guild felt threatened by my presence. This is understandable, of course, for I am the Death Knight of Love. They will not be able to compete. I would, of course, feel sorry for them, except it is not worthy of my time.

And so, that is my tale. I shall be keeping regular hours at the mailbox outside of the Stormwind Bank, to make it easy for the ladies to find me, and swoon.