Is Where Auctioneer Lauffer Ain't Feelin' Festive

You buggers an' yer Winter's Veil spirit can bugger off, he sez. He's just gonna sit here behind his podium an' sulk 'til all this holiday nonsense be overs.

Flying Gobblernogger

Hope you buggers had a happy Thanksgiving if that be yer particulars tribalism, and that ya left room fer pie.

Ghostcrawler Promised Me A Pony. Then He Done Quit

Well, Hallow's End VIII is a wrap. Me an' the team, we did a full court press fer the Horseman's Flyin' Pony - I figger we looted about a hundred an' fifty pumpkins. In the end, we was oh-fer-a hundred an' fifty. Not that we didn't get some loot - pretty much everybodies what cant equip plate got theyselves a Helm of Evil Laughter, an' several buggers what weren't rogues or monks reached in an' pulled out pumpkin swords. Alayda the shammy trollop done had herself all kinds of epic lootifications of uselessness:

At least the trick-or-treatin' junior team members was productive. They extorted enough tricky treats from the innkeepers of Azeroth ta pick up a coupla new pets fer the team, as well as that bonfire toy we bought years ago an' then deleted 'cause whofuhg had the bag space ta carry around an extra campfire? Plus Noggle the Rogue got a chance to look like a real badarse fer once, 'stead of a cute little dude with coupla toy knives.



Oh, and the perky pugs, they totally rocked it, 'cause pugs in costumes is awesome.

Everyone Hail Ta The Pumpkin Queen

Our girl Kinna done be queen of the glubberhubbin' pumpkin patch.

Is big fat hairy Congo rats ta Kinnavieve and her shiny new sword. No sign of that dang pony yet, though.

Our Long Dark Nightmare May Finallies End

Years ago, way back before achievements done became team-wide, way back even befores achievements even existed, me and some of the others on the team signed up fer the brew of the month club. Was fun, haullin' beers and racin' around on yer ram. Was fun, gettin' a new beer in the mail every month fer a year. Was fun, puttin' up posts like this one. Was fun, finishin' up the whole set.

But then, they didn't stop. They didn't. Fuhggin'. Stop.

The beers kept comin', year afters year afters year. Cloggin' the mailboxes. Warnings from altoholic what mail's gonna expire on six different toons. Like that magazine with the cute talkin' rabbits an' stories about brave kids in China or Norway what ya signed up fer when yer seven but is still showin' up in yer mailbox when yer twenty-eight and ya cain't find a way ta tell thems ta stop holy guacamole I ain't sent in a check since forevers please fer the love of Elune and Sargeras make it stop!

Ya know, when I starts ta feel this way about free beer, is a sign what it be too much free beer.

But is good news. The dataminers done found a letter what we gonna get ta send in the Country Bumpkins of Draenor expansion: "Angry Brewfest Letter. Use: Cancel your Brew-of-the-Month Club membership." So, so readies fer ta let this bugger fly. "WARNING: Once an angry letter is sent, you will never be able to join the Club again!" Dude, that ain't a warning, that there's a big fat honkin' dollop of icing on the glubbernuggin' cake.

Is High Tide At The Darkmoon Faire

Is it just me, or is the water done gettin' higher? Anybody got a stick we can use as a marker? Wherefuhg be Christopher Robbin when ya needs him?

Is Where Alayda Is Festive

I love "Love is in De Air", mon.

Show me another holiday where ya get ta sneak up on people dat fell asleep in de bank an' stuff bonbons in dey pockets!

Lady RNG Can Be Cruel. Likes Someone Else I Know

"You want to see it? It's very pretty sitting in my bag."
"No."
"Do you want to come watch me sell it?"
"No!"

So fars, Team Shianti done gots five Helms of Evil Laughter. One fer Morani the paladin, which be right and propers, one fer Cameron the shaman, one fer Tempestad the hunter, and flubbernuggin' two fer Shianti what be a drood. Meanwhiles, on Team Ratshag, with no fewer than four plate wearers? None. Zip. Butkus. Diddly. The big goose egg. Nada. The null set. Zilch. One less than Garrosh's braincells. Same odds as Ragnaros gettin' invitified ta the Stormwind Ladies' Noblegarden Cotillion.

And every day Shianti done reminds me. "You should be on Team Shianti. Team Ratshag is poor buggers."

Shhhhhhh.

Apparentlies I's persona non gratuity in Org these days. Sumthin' bout the Warchief hearin' 'bout them rumors what Garrosh is a old Warsong clan slang term fer "men what likes ta wear Pokemon costumes and has a Draenaninny tie'em up and read post-modernist feminist theory journals to thems," and he done got the idea what I was behind it all. No idea why he'd done think that. Anywho.

So, I ain't supposed ta be in Org, but I needs ta fer ta deal with this creepy crate issue what done come up this Hallow's End. So I's put me brain cells tagether and done come up with a clever disguisification. What you buggers think?

Dang Fight Gets Easiers Every Year

Horseman rise... 
Your time is nigh... 
You felt death once... 
Now, know demise! 

Yes, me old nemesisesis. It is time once again fer us ta cross blades, ta dancify our eternal dance, to determine fer another year which bugger shall rule the pumpkin-

[Headless Horseman has died]
[You receive Loot-filled Pumpkin]
[Grim Grinning Ring of Goulash: need/greed/pass?]

Hey! I weren't even finished talkin' yet! Great googly moogly....

For All The Beauteous Ladies

It's a hunka hunka burnin' Death Knight of Love.

Ferget Them Blue Oyster Dudes

You better fear the glubbernuggin' Reaper.

Who'd You Buggers Hug On Valentine's Day?

Course I done hugged teh Tiz, bestest pocket healer (what be small enoughs fer ta fit in me pocket) in the whole world. And I hugged that big shambling dead nugget Unsuptail.  But inspirified by this post overs at the Pink Pig Inn, I went outs ta Outland and done hugged Skyguard Khatie too. She seemed touched.

You buggers get ta hug anybodies special?

It Wouldn't Be A Real Holiday....

...if Blizz hadn't done dropped a ball or three.

Peddlefeets in Ironforge wants fer ya ta give a Bracelet of Dead Guy Parts ta Magni Bronzebeard. Kinda tricky, seeings as how the bugger be turned ta stone and buried under his throne, or somesuch. Whoops.

But that ain't half so bads as Peddlefeet in Thunder Bloof wants fer ya ta give that Bracelet ta Cairne Bloodhoof. New flash, ya flappy little goblin - that bludderthunker be dead and rotted. Is a little late fer affectionizings.

Meanwhile, the vendors appear ta not want ta sell some of the cheesement items, claiming what you ain't got enough tokens, even when ya does. Is a royal FLUBAR, I tells ya.

Pretty much the same as any other holiday....

Day Of The Dead

They say that today the spirit world is closer to our own than on other days. That today the spirits of the dead may even talk to you. So today I went back to Vyprania's grave. I think Feral thought I was crazy, but she didn't say anything because she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

Well, no, her spirit wasn't there, or at least it didn't come out and talk to us. But we left some flowers and bread and candles for her, and told her we were thinking about her, and afterwards I felt better.

Need More Evil

Hi! I'm Hydrargyrum! I'm a gnome warlock who writes the blog Almost Evil, and co-hosts the Twisted Nether Blogcast. *giggle*

The most important thing to know about warlocks is that we use demonic minions. They help us do by doing damage, or crowd-control, or even tanking. Here are some of mine:

I am a serious but still casual raider. If it happens that the girl who was up all last night with a cranky baby did twice your dps and also survived the fight while you are sniffing ghoul toes, that is your problem, not mine. *giggle*

I like fishing. Sometimes I catch interesting things. *giggle*

"I'm cute, I'm cute, you're DEAD, I'm cute..." I can sometimes be found in battlegrounds, enough that I have a crapton of HKs. ... with all that said ... Hydra doesn't pee vee pee. *giggle*

Every year, I like to dress up as another blogger and poke fun at them. I think this year I'll do Ratshag. Yeah, I did him once before, but he's so awesome I just have to do him again. Can you blame a girl? *giggle*

Happy Hallow's End everyone! Touch my candy and I'll shadowbolt your face off. Evil, you know. *giggle*

Buh-Bye!

Hard fer ta see, but there's a drood in kitty form standing over young Kalishna's corpse there, outside of Southshore. Sorry dude, but corpse-camping an altoholic? Is in the dictionary under "Complete waste of time." But you have fun there, hangin' with the bears and spiders. We come back and throw our stink bombs later. Meanwhiles, Ellspeth's done got trick er treatin' ta do.

Is Where Lady RNG Mocks Me

So, last night I was talkin' ta Rim and his friend Mr Dribbly.

Me: Rim, did you know if you talk to an innkeeper this week, there's a small chance you might get a pet?
Rim: Kumbaya, I did not. Which innkeeper?
Me. Any innkeeper.
:: pause ::
Rim: He gave me a "Sinister Squashling". What is that?
Me: It's the pet.
Rim: Oh, cool.


Five minutes later, we's standing over a head Headless Horseman.
Rimunathah has received [Hallowed Helm].
Rimunathah has achieved [Sinister Calling].
Me: Daaang. Grats, Rim!
Rim: Thanks! What did I do?
Me: You got one of the hardest holiday achievements in the game.
Rim: Kumbaya!

Why Hell Ain't These Things BoA?

I means, big hairy congo rats ta Alayda and all, but she done had one of them walking veggies fer two years now. Me, I done be starting me fourth year of farming the Headless Horsedude, and I ain't got a one. Got two Helms of Evil Laughter, got rings, got pumpkin swords, got brooms, but no pet and no Helm of Uselessness. And now what Blizz done come to they's senses and be handing out 310 mounts fer Long Strange Trip again, I's really wantin' them this year. Ain't got no confidences what Blizz ain't gonna change they's minds a third time...

Friends Don't Let Friends Guild Recruit Drunk

Looks like Palintera ain't the only one what be celebratings Brewfest....