Tieing Up Some Loose Ends

With AC not raiding these days, I's had more time fer ta take of this dwarf disguise and do some things as me regular amazingly virile self. And that done been letting me finish off a few tasks, which always brings satisfacationalizings. This mornings I done finally reached exalted with them Scrydorks, allowing me to go pick up the Pendant of Mighty Might and cross that off me shopping list.And then I pulled out the tackle box and caught me some trout. And lo and beholds I fished meself up to the miximized. Old Man Barlo were so proud of me, he threw one of them Noble's Monocles inta the Bag o' Fishing Doodads.

You No Take Hephalump!

So last night Me and Peanut were helping some lowbie alts go through dungeons in Hellfire P and Zangar. I were doing healings, much to the consternations of some, but with a 70 tank it weren't that much hard, excpet when she pulled a room full of AoE'ers. Anywho, at one point she hadda AFK a bit, and then them locks and mages started feeling peckish...

Guest Blogger: Phoenicia, Now With Sheepdog

'Alloo there!

Now that we have our internettings going again, the Boss asked me ta give you some updates. First of all, "Prooject No More Sore Feet" is going nicely - I now have a mount of mah own. A ram, most of us dwarves would say, but the Boss insists and calling it a sheepdog. Them oorcs can be a little funny, don't ya know. Oh, and I picked up a wee dragon pet, for helping ta win a round in the Arathi Basin. It didn't hurt that I offered ta buy everyone a pint afterwards!

Lately I've been trying ta collect toosks from the trolls in Stranglethorn Vale. They're one of the items that craizy hermit up in Alterac wants before he'll give ya a Whirlwind Axe. The Boss tells meh this axe is the sign of a true Warrior - wit'out it we look just like Ret Pallies with no mana, and dirt oonder our fingernails. The trouble with these toosks is, they're a wee bit fragile, and after I've been pounding them in the face wit' mah Bluidy Brass Knoockles, they tend ta break. So I need to kill a right lot of trolls to get thirty whole ones. Ah'm beginning to understand why the Boss hated Stranglethorn so much.

And while Ah'm doing updates, I got a postcard from Alayda. She's transferred oover to the Drenden-verse, and joined a guild there which is associated with Aetherial Circle. The Boss promised her some netherweave bags if she did, although they ain't shown up yet. But she has a mount of her own now, a fine violet raptor. It bounces her uip and down right proper when she rides, she says, even more than her last boyfriend. Ooh-hoo-hwah! Ooh-hoo-hwah-hah!
Maybe you won't need to throw this one into the stewpot, then, Alayda!

I Has Internets! Woot!

I has weekly maintainizations! Boo!

Need More Internet

Been without functioning DSL fer over a week now. Is annoying the befreakers outta me, I tells ya. Puts a serious crimp in adventuring and blogging and every other damn thing. They tells me I'll be back in business sometime today, but they's said that before. We shall see...

Never Could Follow Intsructions

Undercity

No reasson for thiss pic, other than to show that over-sexed pointy-eared elf girlss aren't the only ones with nice buttss.

< / 3, Mouse

Booty Bay

No reason for this pic, other than I like it.
<3, Pali

The Mouse Has Left The House

Helllooo .... Thiss is DangerMouse. I am Forsaken.

Ratss has started shuffling the team around a bit, but I'm only going to tell you about how it affectss me. I'd tell you the rest of the changess, but I. Haven't. Got. All. Day.

I finally earned enough Marks of Honor from those lumberjack orcss to purchase everything I wanted - dagger, amulet, ring, and the trinket. And now I have had enough of lumberjackss and their sstrange dresssing habits. Sso with Rats' permission I've gone back to the Ghostlands to tidy up some loose endss.

I've been killing forest trolls, coming right up to the gatess of Zul'Aman itsself. Compared to the twinked out rogues and hunterss I'm used to, sending these big green oafs to the embrace the Shadow was child'ss play. And I've been killing Scourge, foolss too decayed and weak to break free and become Forsaken. Im in ur ziggurat, looting ur treasures! Heh-hehehehehe!

I've even helped kill those two idiot abominations that wander the Ghostlands. I know Rats killed them once, but ssome fool obviously patched them back together.
It feelss good to not be stuck in my 19th sseason any longer. Ratss and I are still negotiating if I will go back to the battlegroundss when I am 29, or jusst push on toward the endgame. We sshall sssee.....

This One's Fer Hydra

Somebody out on the interwebbies had themselves a lotta time whiles waitin' ta get inta Blizz's site fer to buy BlizzCon tickets. I'd give credit if I knew who done wrote it, but I don't. Anywho, it laughified me big time, so I's posting it. (Is a parody of this Onyxia raid, if ya ain't familiars go listen first, then come back and read - otherwise is a 50 dkp minus).

Ok listen up. You are going to DPS the server very very slowly. Now, and by slowly I mean REALLY slow. If you get a construction bot, it means you are going to lose 50dkp because you didn't know what to do. And watch the traceroute. If you get into the murlocs, you lose 50dkp again, for not being where you were supposed to be.

There is no cache reset. There is some worry about an cache reset when people don't know how to refresh the webpage. After 2 refreshes you can basically start clicking links to it. Assuming you know how websites work and you don't over-refresh.

Ok connect to it, click on it. Help the murloc groups. When it's in phase 2, spam it as hard as possible. You want to try to connect as fast as possible. Have multiple browsers up on every time, 2 rows, Firefox, IE, Safari, everything. I don't see enough browsers, more browsers now. Come on more refreshes. F5 it like you mean it. You'll have time to rest in the credit card confirmation page while I'm getting the loadscreen. Remember, save all your latency reducing abilities for when it submits. That means Clear Cache, Clear Cookies, @#$%ing History, anything you can use to reset latency.

At 40% you will stop submitting, until then you will keep refreshing. Throw more refreshes, more refreshes, more refreshes ... come on more refreshing. Ok, stop the load. Now hit F5 very hard ... and very fast. Lee run to the confirmation page, Mulgras run to the confirmation page, Forsyte run to the confirmation page, Nurf run to the confirmation page, Isis run to the confirmation page. Whatever you do, do not wait for other people. Mulgras, confirmation page. Just redirect me. Lee do not... go away from the homepage, lee. Go away. Ok pageload, slowly. Come here you dratted tickets... Watch the ping!

Murlocs!

Wistoovern was feared into...

Who was that? Wistoovern, what the...? Murlocs, left side! Even side! Many murlocs! Now, handle it! No! That's a 50dkp minus! What the heck was that Wist? If you click in the right place, there is no way you are going to get into the murlocs, whatever errors, lag, whatever, ok? It's like one in a million. From the north corner to the middle into the murloc page, it's not even remotely imaginable!

Hopes ya got yer tickets, Hydra. And if not, at least mebbe you can gets a chuckle outta this.

EDIT: This were written by the talented (and bored) Mister Ferromancer, a bugger what makes his own armor. Damn fine, that. The original post is on the WoW Forums over heres.

Either They Nerfed This, Or I Useta Really Suck

Both Phoenicia and me chintacled self done reached our 30th seasons recentlies, which means time ta go pay that nutcase the Islander a visit and defeat his Mortal Kombat wannabes. Every warrior in Azeroth gots to do this, fer this bugger be the one what can teach ya the Berserker stance. I think he pays the warrior trainers a kickback fer this. Anywho is off to Ratchet and the south to the island.


Way this works is, ya step onto the grate when yer ready, and they start sending in glupperfuppers ta fight ya, with no break in between. Then, when ya's all worn down, in comes Big Will. Now, when I first did this like a year-and-a-half ago, I just couldn't close the deal. Tried four times, and Big Will put me arse down every time. So I cheated and got me GM Tarsius ta come in from Outland and clobber the bugger.

But this time, were a piece of cake. Didn't need pots or bandages or nuthin' ta get past them first flunkies. Big Will comes in, I pops retaliation, and it be all over. Fer Phoenicia, what be equipping better gear than me and some nice enchants, it were easier than squishing kodo poop.


So, now is the Islander gettin' soft, and letting his troops be all fat and lazy? Or were I just a total scrub when I were first gettin' started. Hard ta remembers that far back. Fer all I know, I showed up that first time with a buncha vendor whites and +INT greens. Anywho, gratz to Phoenicia, and to me (again).


Afters it were over, I had me one of them rites of passage. Remembers, putting on that disguise with the chintacles and the horns and the really big ... tail ... puts me in a different serververse, one where Hordies and Allies is still at wars, unofficially. Which means, there be risks. I's still learning this. I were on the boat from Ratchet ta Booty Bay when this rogue unstealths and does me from behind. He were nine levels higher than me, so it didn't last too long. Nevertheless, I felt satisfied, and hurried off to tell me friend Bell.
She then proceeded ta tells me what in order to become a man (well, a squid, really), I now needs ta kill a Hordie of me own, preferably one 2 er 3 levels higher than me. So, is on me list of things fer to do this week.

After Hours in Kara

This happened a while ago, but I didn't talk about it then, 'cause I's talkin' about it now.

We'd finished clearing Karazhan, and everybody else'd hopped a portal back to Shattrath. Me, though, I had this book what the Shade of Aran had been holding, and I needed fer to bring it to this crazy dude in the library. Apparentlies, the mana beasties and robots and whatnots don't mind you hangin' out and reading books and all if yer a freakin' looney. Mebbe they eats batshit brainwaves or sumthin'.

So, thing is, I's lost. Well, mebbe not lost, 'cause I know where I is (the hall where Curator hangs), and I know where the library is (is over there). Is just the part in between what be giving me some difficulties. But I figgers I'll keep pokin' around 'til I works it out. And then I turn the corner and oh bugger!

Is the Maiden of Virtue. What the hey? We done put her arse down several hours ago, and this ain't her territory anywho. Well, I figger I's in fer a beatin' since I ain't got no tank or healers or nuthin'. But she just stops and blinks at me, then starts to wail.

"Ohhhh, nooooooooo! You weren't supposed to be here. You were all supposed to have left! Oh, Prince Mal is going to kiiilllll meeeee!"

"Well, I won't tell him if you won't. Umm, not that I mind, but, uh, aren't you going to attack me?"

"No, I'm off duty now. We go off the clock when we de-spawn. But we're not supposed to let anyone see us then. Ohhh, he's gonna kiillllll meeeee......"

About this time, I noticed a coupla things. First was, she were holding a cigar and a bottle of whiskey, which didn't fit with her usual image. Second was she were starting to cry big water balloon-sized tears. Now, I hates ta see an overgrown woman cry, even if she were one whom I'd been face-smelting just a while ago.

"Now, that doesn't sound so bad. I mean, we killed you earlier. And yet, hear you is, relaxing with whiskey and a smoke..."

"*sniff* It's also a 50 DKP Minus."

"Oh. Ouch"

"Yeah."

And we started talkin'. I told her about how I were really an orc warrior, but I'd started wearin' the magic dwarf disguise when me old guild went kerflubble. She told me what her name were really Clarisse and that the whole Maiden of Virtue gig were just something she were doing ta try ta break into actin'. She shared her JD and I shared some Gurubashi Ganja what I had on me. And eventuallies we found ourselves in one of the guest chambers. I were prepared ta take it slow an gradual, 'til she reminded me what Maiden were just her day job. At which point I pulled out all the stops - after all, it ain't easy fer to satisfy I woman ten times yer size, even when ya is amazingly virile. But I's an orc what rises to the challenge, and before long cries of "Impure thoughts! Profane actions! Yes, yes, YES! Impure! IMPURE! PRO-O-O-O-FAAAAAaaaaaannnne...." were echoing down the empty halls. "Oh, baby, is my conscience ever clear," she told me afters. "You come back next week, I'll cleanse your impurity all night long."

But the next week when we raided Kara again, even though the Maiden of Virtue were there, I coulds tell it weren't Clarisse. Dunno if she got her big acting break, or if Prince busted her fer what we did. Or mebbe she went back ta Indiana, wherevers that be. Anywho, it were a night I won't be forgettin' fer a while.

(oh buggers - I never did get that book back to the nutjob in the library)

Is Where Palintera Goes to the 'Lympics

So, it was Friday night and I'd just gotten started on a herbing run through the Stonetalon Mountains, when I got a whisper from my friend Feralicious (from Team Bellwether) wanting to know why I wasn't hanging out in Ashenvale, for her convenience.Okay, she's just being silly. I mean, he's my boss, for Elune's sake. Even if he is amazingly virile (and yes, I've checked him out once or twice, I admit it), there's no way he'd mess around with anyone on the team. He sees as like his kids or something.
So now she's just pulling my chain. I'm pretty sure. I think. She'd better be. /worried Pali

Well, I flew back to Ashenvale and we spent some time gathering crystals and stardust for this poor sick girl. Along the way, we were keeping our eyes open for a strapping young troll that we could share. You see, 'licious wanted to see if what she'd heard was true, that if they pop Berserking just before they ... well, you know ... that it's like ... ummmmm. You know, never mind. It's not important.

/blush

But, before we could find a lucky troll, it was time! Time to go to Nagrand for the SEALympics! What were the SEALympics? We had no idea, but we knew we wanted to go, and Doodle said it was okay, so we got a summons!

Turned out we were having a race across Sunspring Lake. Woohoo! Now, before any race, it's important to warm up and stretch properly. So, that's what we're doing here. Serious preparations - no silliness allowed.

Okay, now we're read to race! A dozen or so Sidhe Devils druids, plus Phinnegan Among Many, who's like an honorary druid even if he is a warrior. /excited Pali

And there off! I kinda was a second or two late getting started, 'cause I was busy taking pictures. But that's all right - I wasn't expecting to win anyway, because...

... despite the efforts of our senior guildies, there were still a lot of elementals in that lake, just licking their chops in anticipation of sweet young druidling to munch on. Or whatever it is water elementals lick. Ew, not that! Anyway, a lot of the race ended up looking like this (that's me in the foreground, and 'licious out in front of me):

Yay! We made it to the finish line!

Look! There it is, in the flesh! The one! The only! The Big Bear Butt!

('licious dared me to take this picture)

After the race, we had a freestyle aquatic dance competition. Have you ever danced in aquatic form? It's hard - no /dance shortcuts. But we had fun figuring out how to make 300 pounds of muscle and blubber move with grace and poise.

After the competition, the dancing moved on shore. Here's 'licious cutting loose with. if you can believe it, our GMs Windshadow and CassieAnn. I think they need a little less dark iron in their diets...

Next event - an all-out no-holds-barred free-for-all at the Ring of Trials. Of course, crossing Nagrand was a bit of a challenge for those of us in our mid-20s. /nervous Pali But our guildies did their best to clear a path through the wildlife for us. 'licious even managed to become friendly with the Kurenai along the way - I think she wants a talbuk mount.

And here we are. On your mark, get set-
go! Feralicious and I fought the good fight, but as you can see I'm afraid agressive pets and AoEs made quick work of us.
So, that was how 'licious and I spent Friday night. It was way cool fun. I want to say Thank you so much to all the Sidhe Devils who participated. You guys are great!

Phoenicia. Now With Big Brass Ones

Knouckles, that is. What did you t'ink Ah meant? Me and mah mates have started poking our noses inta the Scarlet Monastery a wee bit. Just the doungeons and the graveyard so far - we're all still in our 20s and the Crusaders in the other wings is a might bit heavy for us at the moment. But not for long. But it were in the doungeons where Ah pulled these bloody brass knuckles from Interrogator Vishas' cold dead fingers. I couldna use t'em right away, but I got some training and a little more experience, and Ah got wee Baggit tah enchant t'em so t'ey hit even harder, and now t'ey's mah new favorite weapon. Ah'm hoping we get a chance ta go back so Ah can look for anouther set and have a matching pair.

Don't fouck with the Dwarfette, or you'll be spitting out yuir teeth!

We are in a bit of a dry spot, though. We're too experienced for places like RFK and Gnomer, but not really ready yet for the main wings of the Mounastery or Razor Fen Downs. So last night we went down to Stanglethorn Vale and killed a bounch of beasties for that rascal, young Nessingwary. But once everyone has a few more seasons oonder they're belts I expect I'll be tanking full-time again.

Oh, and did ye see the avatar the talented Bansidhe made for me? She's been real good to Team Ratshag, and the boss wanted me ta take a minute and say how much we all appreciate it!

Aye, that's me. Bringing it to all the zombies and worgen in Darkshire.

Aggro: I's Got It.

So, here's the setup. The Kara run last night, we did with just one tank. We also had us a damn fine ret pally who could throw on some tanking gear as needed, but off-tanking weren't his job, normallies. And that were all fine.

Then we gets to Curator. If ya don't know this flumperthunker, he's a big-arse robot what, among other things, throws Hateful Lightning at the off-tank. Anywho, the tankadin pulls him, and we starts the show. I throws a coupla DoTs on the bugger, then starts targeting his astralogical flare thingies. 'Bout this time the huntard what sounded just like the guild RL sez on Vent:

"Oh, wait. Who's gonna be absorbing the Hatefuls?"

Ka-BLAMMM!

"I guess Ratshag is. Okay."

Good thing I's a tough munkerducker.

Now How My Feet Gonna Fit In THOSE??!?

Aetherial Circle be kinda on a break this month. There just be too many buggers crashing at other buggers homes, too many buggers at them topless beaches in the Bahamamammas, and too many buggers what be sayin' "Screw it! I needs a break from draggin' that scrub Ratter's sorry arse up and down Mount Hyjal!" So, finding 25 adventurers just be too dang much.

So last night some of us went on a badge run in Kara instead. We had a good crew, including our uber "I'll just pull the whole room" tankadin, another dwarfish shadow priest from Team Brigin, merciless slave driver "I needs badges! Get me badges!" Shianti, and a noob huntard what sounded a lot like our Raid Leader. And we rocked the place. Full clear, no wipes, just over three hours. Fer the night at the Opera we got Oz, which I ain't never done before. Burned'em down, easy as you please, and piled in with the corpses we found these Ruby Slippers. Nobody else wanted'em, so I took'em. They might be a good upgrade fer me stamina gear, I ain't sure. I'll have ta check and find out. I can't be bothered ta keep track of the details. Thing of it is, I has trouble enough fittin' me big green feets inta regular dwarf boots. How I's gonna get'em into these little girl slippers, I got no fuhggin' clue.

Ooh, and I got me enough badges fer to go buy me some shiny hand-warmers. Accordings to the list, only kit better done come outta Sunwell, so they should last me a good long time. So I's a happy orc. Even if me toes is feeling mighty pinched...

Shopping List

Okay, so, I been doing a lot of the same stuff both as meself and with me dwarf disguise on. Killing Blood Elves in Netherstorm, killing Demons and Nagas near the Sunwell, etc. You know the drill. But I finds these fights can take a lot more outta me when I's in warrior form - not having any raiding gears done makes a difference. Not normallies an issue, but when ya gets multiple respawn on top of ya things can get a little tight. Whereas in priestie form I can just bubble up and burn'em down, while recharging meself with the naughty touching and embracing. Having all them raiding gears do make a difference. So I figgers is time ta go shopping and see what upgrades'd be available fer meself.

Neck: I's halfway ta being exaltified by the Dorkbabies, so once I gets there I'll be picking up a Pendant of Mighty Might and tossing me old Chain of Glow-in-the-Dark Tendrils.

Chest: That Merciless Gladiator's Merciless Plate Chestpiece of Mercilessness looks like a fine step up from me Chestguard of Exilicious. Time ta hit the old Arathi Basin some more. Gonna miss that nipple chain, though.

Belt: The Red Belt of Battle is a craftable thing, so I could either hire a smith ta forge one up fer me, or just get one at the AH. Great googly moogly it ain't cheap, 1500-2000g plus gems, but would be a whonkin' upgrade from Borak's Belt of Bravery. Borak were a fine fellow and all, especiallies with the alliterationizings, but still.

Head: Much as i loves me my Helm of Evil Laughter, I likes killin' mudderglumpers better. And there is other choices out there, like them Furious Goggles, what I can make now that I's an engineer. Expensive mats, but not insanelies.

Feets: The honor price for the Vindicator's Plate Booties done got dropped recentlies, so thems look attractive fer taking over from me Sha'tari Rotten Grooves. And I got lots of EoTS marks, so I can just go to town farming honor in AV.

So that be what I'm thinking. Lot's more I could do, particularlies from PvP gears, but I think this'll hold me fer a while.

Ratshag. Now With Hephalump

Got me spacegoat disguise up ta the 30th season today, and hoofed it over ta the Exodar fer me shiny new hephalump. Is part of the No More Sore Feets Fer Team Ratshag program. Phoenicia'll probably get her ram before longs, and then we gotta get mounts fer Palintera, Alayda, and DangerMouse.

Kung Fu Priesting

So, what does ya do while waiting fer a vendor in Ashenvale to get a resupply on a particular recipe? Ya practices yer unarmed combats, is what. Whiles I were waiting, I combatted me skill all the way from 1 up ta three hundred and change.

I were really laying on the pain, too. Five damage per punch; ten if I critted the flumpernugger!

And twenty minutes later, I'd put two Furblog's arses down, and the vendor had me recipe!

ChickGM is a Weirdling

This happened a while ago, but I didn't talk about it then, 'cause I'm talking about it now.

So, I'm listening to the Twisted Nether Blogcast: Plan 9 From the Twisted Nether. The one where they had a buncha bloggers doing a roundtable, taking turns answering questions. And were pretty interesting. Fim and Bre was hosting as per usuals, handing out crackers and punch in them little Dixie cups, and the guests was Kestrel the Birdman and Way Too Many Annas and Worldicus of Matt and Resto4Phae. And Auzara the ChickletGM. This be about her.

Anywho, were good talkings. You should go listen. And near the end, they was talking about what makes a blog worth reading, and Auz said she looked fer blogs what taught her something. And I's nodding, 'cause that's a good thought. And then she done said sumthin' what made me eyes pop outta me skull, almost. And THEN she said sumthin' what caused me arse to fall clean outta me chair, fer reals. So. I tracks her down and demands an explanation.
[10:29] Ratshag: hai you!
[10:38] Auzara: hai!
[10:41] Ratshag: I have a question for you
[10:42] Ratshag: I enjoyed listening to the podcast roundtable last week
[10:42] Auzara: what's the question?
[10:42] Auzara: and I had a blast doing it
[10:43] Ratshag: when the question was "what do you look for in a blog?"
[10:43] Ratshag: and you said I look for one that tells me something
[10:43] Ratshag: and then you mentioned mine
[10:43] Ratshag: and then you mentioned the Galertruby posts in particular
[10:43] Ratshag: my question is
[10:44] Ratshag: WERE YOU HIGH ON FELWEED?
[10:44] Auzara: lol
[10:44] Auzara: Well I have been known to party =P
[10:44] Auzara: you play the game entirely differently than me
[10:44] Auzara: there are people who play another game that probably play more like I play wow than you do
[10:44] Auzara: it's nice to see it from a different perspective
[10:44] Ratshag: yah huh
[10:45] Ratshag: I still sez yer a WEIRDLING

Just to be clear. I's a simple orc, and I writes a silly blog. Anything ya learns here is just yer own hallucinifying, so lays off the felweed!