Friday, November 16, 2007

Important Knowledge! You Should Read!

Now, there's a lot of blogs out there what you can learn useful information from. A lot. What kinda gear you wants, how to spec yerself, how to tank/heal/damage Prince Imabigboss in Deepdarkraiddungeon. You wanna know it, there's someone who wants to tell it to ya. And me hat is off to those bloggers, it really is. They keep the world turnin' and don't get nothin' in return. Me, that ain't my style. I's just a simple orc, and I tells my simple stories and it seems to work out okay. But every now and then, something slips through the cracks, and an important piece of information does not get reported. Critical data, unreported by the high lords of
Warcraft blogging. That's when it is time for simple bloggers like meself to step up to the plate and pass on a small nugget of know-how, so that you will know what to do when the moment is upon you. Today, it is my duty to answer a question which will someday confront us all:

What happens to me if I fall off the edge of the world when I'm already dead?

Now, we all remember that batshit crazy Night Elf Columbus from our schooldays, right? Course you do. Even I do. He's that bugger what tried to sail to the High Elf lands by sailing west from Kalimdor, thinking that the world was a sphere and he'd come around on the other side. What a maroon. He was never seen again, of course, because he fell of the edge of the world!

Now, in Azeroth that takes some doing. You needs a ship, you needs a crew willing to buy into yer batshit craziness, you needs a lot of things. In Outland, though, it's a different story. You can walk right up the edge of the world and pee off it, if ya wants. Hey! Don't push me when I's doing a demonstratification! That shit ain't funny! Where was I? Oh, yeah. As you can sees, it's real easy to go off the edge, whether yer being chased or got way too drunk or is just plain stupids. Like this:
And you falls for a long, long ways, and then you's dead and yer ghost pops up in one of them convenient graveyards scattered around the countryside. And you probably needs to talk the lovely, gear-smashing lady to get yer body back.
So far so good. But what if you dies in the regular way, but it happens to have gone down right next to the edge of the earth. And while yer running back to your body, in a moment of "nothing can happen to me I's already dead" you gets too close to the edge and Whoops! There you go! What happens then? Does you fall for ever? Does yer ghost have a ghost of its own? What will happen?

Fortunately for you buggers, I know the answer. While back, me and Aelion the cheeky Blood Elf was discussing this very matter one time when I was dead, and we was able to utilize our complementary racial gifts to find an answer. The clever elf said "Jump! You know you want to." and the strong orc made a mighty leap into the twisty nether. Like this:And what happened? I tells ya. I fell for a bit, then poof! Me ghost is right back at the graveyard, ready to run to me corpse, no damages done.
So, now you be informed. If you are running back to yer corpse and you are near the edge of the world, there is no need to be worrified! Even shoulds you stray too near the edge, there will be no calamity - a minor setback is the worst. So run! Run with the carefree spirit only the dead possess, knowing that the worst has already happened! Maybe even jump as you runs, like the elves do.

And so, a small but critical gap in the knowledge provided by the blogosphere has now been remedificationed. You's most welcome.


Kelmar said...


I love the occasional "Batshit crazy"... my co workers looked at me... I says "What?!"

Anonymous said...

being a city boy, i wonder what makes batcrap so crazy? tell me ratsy! it's burning a hole in my mind wanting to know.

anywho, great informative post. we can now all rejoice knowing that we can jump off any ledge and know we will be safe. keep up the good work!

megan said...

I can now sleep safe at night. Many thanks, NMR!

Gauntlet said...

I dub thee Ratshag The Jumpin' Ghost.

Anonymous said...

I think none of us are surprised it took a batshit crazy Orc to figure this out for us.

The good part is, I bet I can win a bar bet or three in Lower City with this knowledge!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that. I got a good laugh. I'm sitting here waiting to get over my rez sickness, and I was wondering what would happen if I ran me spririt o'er the edge too. Now I know. I'm still laughing!