Wednesday, December 12, 2007


So, I's hanging out in a pub in Thunderbluff, working on a pitcher of fermented Tauren milk and getting meself nicely buzzed, when the blood elf all dressed up in fancy red armor sits down at me table and starts talking. Says his name is "Aeliaelionae" or something like that, and he's a recruiter for the Eye of the Storm.

"I ain't interested in no battlegrounds." I sez. "Me old man fought in the first two Wars, and he warned me away from that kinda fighting. Too easy to get yerself killed randomly fer you dunno why."

"I understand you concerns," he sez. "But the Eye is different from those old-fashioned batlefields of the past. We are thoroughly modern, with the finest of Spirit Guides to get back on your feet in no time (in the very unlikely event a fatality incident should occur). Think of the Eye as more of a practice arena, a place to sharpen your skills, with no real risk to you or your equipment. And speaking of equipment, allow me to show you the fabulous rewards I am authorized to sell to our verteran contenders."

I ain't convinced. Me whole adventuring career has been about fighting the nasties in the deep dark dungeons. Horde vs Alliance just ain't my bag - the wars is over, and it be time for rebuilding. Establishing law and order. And taking out the real threats, like the Legion of Burnin' Demons. But he's got a real shiny brochure with lots of colorful pictures, so I figures it won't kill me to take a look.

Eh. It's high-quality stuff, I'll grant ya, but it's all geared fer a balance of offense and defense. Which makes sense when yer playin' games with other heroes, but when I's soloing I want balls-to-the-wall killing power from me gear, and when I's tanking all I cares about is being as tough a nuggerbunker as possible, and other's got the job of doing the actual killing. So what he's showing me don't really fit me needs. I's about to hand it back to him and say "Thankee, but bugger off" when -


The Gladiator's Shield Wall. Dang. That's got me attention. Compared to me Ogri'la Aegis (which ain't shabby in the least) it's got 1591 more armor (!!!), 3 more stamina (even after a pair of solid stars of Elune), and 25 more block value. It give up 23 defense rating, but it has 29 resilience. Great Googly Moogly. I could do some serious blocking with this bad boy. Real quick-like I pull out me handy dandy copy of Berg's tank gear rankings, and it show the shield wall pulling down more tanking points than either the Azure-Shield of Coldarra (which I ain't got the badges for) or the Crest of the Sha'tar (which I ain't got the rep for). And with me guild's progression rate pretty much parked at zero point zero, I ain't gonna be getting either of these anytime anyways. But this, I could get on me own. If, you know, I knew anything about how to fight on a battlefield and earn them whatsits, Marks of Battle Fatigue or whatever.

"You have a good eye, my friend," sez Aeliolaeoliol. "We just got those in the other day. It should suit a warrior of your caliber nicely. Just sign here and I can get you a slot in this weekend's battle. For the Horde!"

So, what is it I's planning to do? I got know idea. Probably die a lot. Hopefully absorb enough damage to give our side time to win so I can get more Marks of Honor Roll. Maybe. Most likely I'll just stand around going "huh? what? *dead*"

But I really wants that shield.


Zerei said...

The ogres might be insulted by your use of other equipment, though. The Ogri'la folk may be enlightened, but I'd wager they're still prone to envy.

Dagashai said...

Welcome to teh suck, nub!

Just remember... a gnome that runs is the enemy!

A gnome that doesn't run is a WELL TRAINED enemy!

Anonymous said...

Protection Warriors in a battle ground have one primary roll - disrupt enemy healers.

Concusion Blow
Shield Bash
Shield Slam (zomg dispels)
Improved Revenge (if you're odd enough to have it..)

While not so great against the highly mobile druids, you can do a rip-roarin' job against paladins and shaman (both of which have to remain stationary while healing).

Of course, you will die. CC hurts like hell against any warrior. Spell Reflect can be fun on occasion, though. =D

Anonymous said...

"a pitcher of fermented Tauren milk"

That just ain't right.

Anonymous said...

I'm after the boots. Let's work out a deal.

Anonymous said...

We're in the same battlegroup so I'll see you on the other side. I'll make sure to wave at yeah before my boar charges in. Good luck

Anonymous said...

I have also been lured into the battles with the promise of great rewards. I am but a humble healing druid so am unable to provide much assistance on the offensive front, but I have discovered that by following a protection warrior around such as yourself and keeping him standing while rooting and cycloning helps greatly simply by taking several of the opposing forces out of the picture for a while as they try take him down.

Anonymous said...

"A gnome that doesn't run is a WELL TRAINED enemy!"

Indeed he is.

- Wrewdie