Sunday, December 21, 2008

Guest Blogger: Maurice

Hello. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove.

In days gone by, I was known as Maurice, the Paladin of Looove, and the beauteous ladies of Lordaeron would swoon as I walked past in my wondrously bright armor. 

Now, after my slight, ahem, mishap, I am living in Stormwind City and I look forward to many great conquests here. I am still every bit as dashing as when I was alive, plus now I have that special, back-from-the-grave je ne sais quoi.
But first, that foul orc Ratshag, whose employ I was forced to accept, told me I should join the guild he is associated with. Since a guild provides many opportunities for the ladies to meet me, I could see this was one of his few clever ideas (he is a rather simple orc, you see). So I approached one of the officers and introduced myself.

I explained how I fulfill a critical duty, standing by the mailbox and disenchanting incoming items. She was, of course, thrilled beyond belief at the opportunity to have a dashing hero such as myself in her guild.

Once I had been officially initiated into the organization, I quickly made myself known. After all, ha ha, there will be much demand for my time once the ladies get to know me. We should get this process started then as soon as possible, I thinks.

Of course, some of the men in the guild felt threatened by my presence. This is understandable, of course, for I am the Death Knight of Love. They will not be able to compete. I would, of course, feel sorry for them, except it is not worthy of my time. 

And so, that is my tale. I shall be keeping regular hours at the mailbox outside of the Stormwind Bank, to make it easy for the ladies to find me, and swoon.


Hydra said...


Anonymous said...


/fall over and land on Hydra

Anonymous said...

Very interesting, Maurice. Do you consider yourself:

A: A picker
B: A grinner
C: A lover
D: A sinner
E: All the above

Unknown said...

He certainly speaks of the pompitous of love. *nods*

laura said...

Am I the only one that "hears" Maurice speak with a lame Antonia Banderas accent?


Anonymous said...

LOL that was great, I'm sure he is already a hit with the ladies of AC. And yes Sass for some reason my mental voice gave him a latin accent.

Anonymous said...

That hair! And those glowing eyes!
I actually hear Maurice's voice as juuust a little too deep and rugged- kind of like Tom Jones by way of Sauron.

Cap'n John said...

@Laura - I heard him speaking in tones more akin to a smooth jazz radio DJ. Not unlike Barry White.

Anonymous said...

@ Laura, That's EXACTLY how I read the post in my head! Though I was picturing a little kitty with a sword from Shrek...but same actor! lol

Ratters, this post made me hop on my lollerskates and take a lap.

Sir Sannhet said...

Some people call me Maurice,
'Cause I speak of the pompitous of love.

joe said...

Sir, you are my hero.