Either They Nerfed This, Or I Useta Really Suck

Both Phoenicia and me chintacled self done reached our 30th seasons recentlies, which means time ta go pay that nutcase the Islander a visit and defeat his Mortal Kombat wannabes. Every warrior in Azeroth gots to do this, fer this bugger be the one what can teach ya the Berserker stance. I think he pays the warrior trainers a kickback fer this. Anywho is off to Ratchet and the south to the island.


Way this works is, ya step onto the grate when yer ready, and they start sending in glupperfuppers ta fight ya, with no break in between. Then, when ya's all worn down, in comes Big Will. Now, when I first did this like a year-and-a-half ago, I just couldn't close the deal. Tried four times, and Big Will put me arse down every time. So I cheated and got me GM Tarsius ta come in from Outland and clobber the bugger.

But this time, were a piece of cake. Didn't need pots or bandages or nuthin' ta get past them first flunkies. Big Will comes in, I pops retaliation, and it be all over. Fer Phoenicia, what be equipping better gear than me and some nice enchants, it were easier than squishing kodo poop.


So, now is the Islander gettin' soft, and letting his troops be all fat and lazy? Or were I just a total scrub when I were first gettin' started. Hard ta remembers that far back. Fer all I know, I showed up that first time with a buncha vendor whites and +INT greens. Anywho, gratz to Phoenicia, and to me (again).


Afters it were over, I had me one of them rites of passage. Remembers, putting on that disguise with the chintacles and the horns and the really big ... tail ... puts me in a different serververse, one where Hordies and Allies is still at wars, unofficially. Which means, there be risks. I's still learning this. I were on the boat from Ratchet ta Booty Bay when this rogue unstealths and does me from behind. He were nine levels higher than me, so it didn't last too long. Nevertheless, I felt satisfied, and hurried off to tell me friend Bell.
She then proceeded ta tells me what in order to become a man (well, a squid, really), I now needs ta kill a Hordie of me own, preferably one 2 er 3 levels higher than me. So, is on me list of things fer to do this week.

What I Likes About Being A Warrior

I see all the cool bloggers is following up on Banana Shoulders' suggestion ta talk abouts why they likes being they's class. I guess it be me turn then, so have a seat whiles a lays it out fer ya.

Scars. Warriors got more scars than anybodies on two legs. Most everbodies else, they wants to avoid gettin' hit. And who can blame'em, really, 'cause they's all squishy. Bears got lots of scars too, but they disappearifies when they get they's elf or tauren back on. Palladins, they maybe got a lot of scars too, but they puts on makeup for to cover'em up so's they can look all pure. Is true! Ask'em.

Scars is good fer several things. They can be good fer bonding with yer mates when yer sittin' around a table and hoisting a few. I'd say "male bonding", but that be old-fashioned now that there's plenty of women warriors, and I's just as happy to see they's scars and hear the stories what goes with.

Scars is also good fer impressin' some wimmenfolk with yer virility and overall studliness and sex appeal, and then that leads ta new rewards. Is important ta do yer homework first, though, just like assaulting a dungeon - some wimmens don't go fer scars and requires different tactics. So don't blame Ratter if you just walk up and sez "Hey toots, check this out" and flash where that felboar tusked ya and she goes "Ewwwww!", 'cause I warned ya. Whethers this approach works fer wimmen warriors lookin' to land theyselves a tasty piece of mageflesh, I don't know. Not really me department.

Is Got Spell Reflection. "Oh, I's sorry, did you just moonfire yerself? That's too bad." This be so funny to see, it alone makes battlegrounds worth doing.

Is Never Closing Time. Ever seen a warrior get his arse chucked outta a bar before they's had they share of beer? That's right, 'cause it never happens. Bartender sez "That's it - we's closed" and the troll priest sez "No! Gimme another!" and whoa Nellie! she goes flyin' out the door. But the warrior just settles inta his defensive stance and, with two bouncers tuggin' on him, sez "Ain't done yet. I wants another beer." And he gets it.

Now, after he's had enough and be passed out on the floor, then they can chuck him out. But that ain't the same at alls.

Can Wear the Helm of Evil Laughter. Coolest piece of loot in Azeroth, and warlocks cain't equip it, no matter how bads they want to.

When Ya Calls Folks Fer Dinner, They Hear Ya. Even if they's in the next zone. "Is warp burgers and clam bars! Come eat!" Practicin' yer shouts makes this possibilified.

Ya Can Be Any Race. Excpet Belfs, 'cause they got screwed.

Sings Better'n Any Other Class. Now, hunters can do a fair job with "Hunter hunter hunter hunter" and Paladins can sings "I Feel Pretty" just as well as Natalie could, but that's as far as it goes. Windshadow at BBBBBBBBB has great taste in music, but have you heard her actually sing? Even the statues at the entrance ta Stormwind cover they's ears. Only a warrior can belt out something righteous like a Tom Waits cover and not sound like a doofus.

So, there ya has it. Some of the many reasons why it's great to be a warrior.