Then And Now: The Way We Was

If'n ya reads this blog, then ya know what pictures of me an' the rest of the Team be kinda a big part of it. An' if ya don't read it, well then ya ain't readin' this an' so there ain't really no reason fer me ta done fini

 Vidyala had this post the other day where she had this pic of herself from the early days and a pic of her today self. I thought were kinda interestin', so I went an' dug through the old crap (includins the crap in me original blog, Diary of an Upwardly Mobile Orc) and found the earliest pic fer a bunch of us. Then I took a brand new pic of everybodies (without warnin' so nobodies had time fer ta go change an' make theyselves presentable haha!). Is a few haircut changes a lotta gear changes, heirlooms, heirlooms swapped, transmogrifyin', an' tranmopathy goin' on. We's like that.

Anywho, here we is:

Ratshag Jan 26, 2007

There be me, jumpin' up an' down like a loon just 'cause I'd done made it ta the Stonetalon Mountains. Whoo hoo, a new zone. Way fer ta start the blog off with class and dignity, kid. Gear's changed, of course. Id done tried out some new hairstyles in Northrend but ended up goin' back ta me gray and braids look. Just felt right, ya know. What don't show is the miles on the feet an' the notches on the belt, but you buggers alreadies knew about them.

Ellspeth April 4, 2007

Ellspeth, the team's first 'lock. Puld her outta a Silvermoon orphanage an' set her ta work. Still the same hair. Still the same showin' off her skin. Still psychotic as a glubbernugger.

Gogmoth December 22, 2007

Me kid brother. We was inta 'locks there fer a bit there, weren't we? no real changes here.

Danger Mouse January 9, 2008

Mouse. Still impatient, still a killer, still sportin' that natural dead hairstyle. She done hadda make a name change when she joined me on the Cenarion Circle serververse, but that be about all. And we still know what her real name is.

Ratdorf January 15, 2008

Me, transmogrified inta a dwarf priest. That's right, I were inta transmogrifyin' before it were cool. Over the names I done changed me official name in this form from "Ratshag" ta "Ratdorf", and I done lost the Santa Claus look fer a shorter, braided black-colored stylin'. Get fewer mice livin' in it, that way.

Galertruby January 21, 2008

He's far too busy bein' profound fer ta actuallies go aware or do anythin'. But we loves him anywho.

Alayda February 15, 2008

Alayda the festive shaman. She likes fer ta change her hair every six months or so, so the blue topknow be long gone. Is currently a green mohawk. Still got her tusks though - Alayda be a proud troll beauty an' ain't got no interest in tryin' fer ta look like a elf girl.

Palintera April 15, 2008

Pali's come a long way in Cataclysm, in every respect. She's changed her appearance several times, but always ends up comin' back ta wear she started. 'Course, a lotta the time she looks like a big laser-firin' chicken, but we ain't showin' that today.

Orctacles May 19, 2008

See if'n ya can tell what changed here.

Phoenicia June 14, 2008

The Red Hawt Dwarf Chick is still Red Hawt, roflcopter braids an' all, even if'n ya cain't see'em in this pic. What do be different is she started off prot an' now be fury fury screamin-like-a-loonie fury.

Kinnavieve October 9, 2008

Kinna came on board right at the end of the Burninatin' Crusade, an' I trained her up with the hopes what she could be me replacement as the Team's raider. An' she done succeeded an' made me real proud. Changed her hair and got a lot tougher, but inside she's still that little lumberjack's daughter from Nowhereshire, Elwynn Forest what were taggin' along after me. How'd we get both of us in the same picture? That be a good fuhggin' question....

Vyprania November 14, 2008

Requiescat in pace September 16, 2010

Don' really feel like talkin' 'bout Vyp, just now.

Maurice December 21, 2008

Still the Death Knight of Loooove. Still sportin' that 70s pornstache an' drivin' the wimmenz of Stormwind .... elsewhere.

Jinnik July 10, 2010

Heirlooms. Hard fer ta shake'em, although at some point they's gonna get transmogged inta Ruthless Gladiatiors. Not a lot's changed fer the team's only healer, although she been spendin' more time in BGs than dungeons of late.

The Warrior With No Name August 5, 2010

Still sportin' a mustache so sharp it'll pierce his helmet. Still got no name, even though he done gone from bein' a lowlie bank alt ta GM of the Free Radicals.


Some of the Team members, especiallies thems what joined after the Shattering, don't really done gotten much attention here in the blog, at least nots yet. Mebbe some other time there'll be a retrospectalizin' fer Fink an' Creighton an' Goblin Hunter Boy (By Night Known As Fezziwhig) an' Justina Price Worgen. But that won't be today, 'cause then it would be now an' not then.

Is Not Just Another Big Axe

Is the axe. Is the axe what makes us warriors. Nobody else can has one, not retadins, not shammies, not even death nuggets. And now in me Orctacles outfit I has the Whirlwind Axe once again.
Is big, big thanks ta me friend Bellwether fer takings the time ta come down ta the Alteracs fer ta help me get it.

Gosh, Look At Those

Okay, it's been a while since I done put on me magic disguise with the weird setting what turns me all orctacles. So yesterday I puts it on, just fer some funs and GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! The dang thing went and malfunctioned again.

I mean, look at'em! That ain't how I left things.

/sigh

Well, I guess is a good thing I's secure enough in me masculinitizations what I ain't afeared fer ta get in touch with me feminininitzed side.

Ortacles Goes Ta Stranglethorn

Ah, Stranglethorn. Land where, if ya stands still too long, the vines'll grow up yer trouser leg and try ta get it on with yer privates. Land where zombie pirate nagas makes they's home. And, if yer in a PvPverse, the gankers go looking fer unfair fights.

So I's got me draenaninny warrior disguise on, and I wants ta get me a Whirlwind Axe. Just like that bugger did with Phoenicia a few weeks ago, the crazy troll hermit in Alterac sends me down ta Stranglethorn for ta fetch 30 troll tusks. Now, I's got a couple more seasons on me than Phoe did, so I ain't expecting much troubles from them trolls - is just gonna be a simple grind. Is them other funkergubbers what I expects trouble from. And I ain't disappointed.

Death 1: Bird lands at the Rebel Camp. Two 70s is standing right there, and they drops me faster'n you can say "g-". Nailed the poor bugger landing right behind me, too.

Death 2: I's taking on two trolls at once. First is dead, second nearly so, when a rogue three levels higher'n me unstealths and his daggers is in me back. I goes down faster'n Lehman Bros.

Death 3: Undead warrior, 8 levels higher'n me. I see him, he sees me. He charges. I puts up a fight this time, fer a little bit.

Death 4: Level 70 warlock. DoTs, Fear, and I run around screaming while me insides cook. No funs.

Death 5: Blood Elf rogue, 2 levels higher'n me. I'm getting ready ta target me next troll, when I gets stunlocked and she starts pumpin' away on me. Even so, I manages ta shake it off and get her down ta 3% before she does fer me.

Deaths 6-8: This Belf rogue, having found that I's a serious bone ta be chewed, decides she don't want any more fair fights. Instead, she skulks around until I's fully engaged with a troll, then hits me with the stunlock. Couple times she puts me down before I can do much, last time I had her to 20%. 'Bout this time a higher level guildie shows up ta helps, and there's no more trouble.

Now, is not like all Hordes is gankers there. I saw another warrior me own level, plus higher level shammy and a mage. They was doing they's thing, I were doing my thing. Had the warrior shown a desire to party, I'd've happy to oblige, but I had a job ta do and I weren't gonna go outta me way.

Fer them others, particularlies that Belf, all I can say is I's unimpressed. Me, I'm happy to test me skill against someone else. I's happy ta test my gear against someone else's. Often times I comes up short, and that be fine. Is the whole point, ya know? But great googly moogly. Hanging around, waiting fer a fight ya know ya can win, has gotta be boring as all bagoobers. Fishing would prolly be more interesting. Which don't say much fer the minds of thems what do it.

Anywho, that were my experience. Is big thanks ta Daelan fer his assistance in getting the last of them tusks. Now is on to elementals, and then me spiffy axe.

New Rule Fer PvP Seververse

Do NOT set me hearthstone fer Southshore, ever again.

I done been ganked more times by bored 70s tryin' ta get from the inn to the flightmaster than I been killed everywhere elses in Azeroth combined...

Either They Nerfed This, Or I Useta Really Suck

Both Phoenicia and me chintacled self done reached our 30th seasons recentlies, which means time ta go pay that nutcase the Islander a visit and defeat his Mortal Kombat wannabes. Every warrior in Azeroth gots to do this, fer this bugger be the one what can teach ya the Berserker stance. I think he pays the warrior trainers a kickback fer this. Anywho is off to Ratchet and the south to the island.


Way this works is, ya step onto the grate when yer ready, and they start sending in glupperfuppers ta fight ya, with no break in between. Then, when ya's all worn down, in comes Big Will. Now, when I first did this like a year-and-a-half ago, I just couldn't close the deal. Tried four times, and Big Will put me arse down every time. So I cheated and got me GM Tarsius ta come in from Outland and clobber the bugger.

But this time, were a piece of cake. Didn't need pots or bandages or nuthin' ta get past them first flunkies. Big Will comes in, I pops retaliation, and it be all over. Fer Phoenicia, what be equipping better gear than me and some nice enchants, it were easier than squishing kodo poop.


So, now is the Islander gettin' soft, and letting his troops be all fat and lazy? Or were I just a total scrub when I were first gettin' started. Hard ta remembers that far back. Fer all I know, I showed up that first time with a buncha vendor whites and +INT greens. Anywho, gratz to Phoenicia, and to me (again).


Afters it were over, I had me one of them rites of passage. Remembers, putting on that disguise with the chintacles and the horns and the really big ... tail ... puts me in a different serververse, one where Hordies and Allies is still at wars, unofficially. Which means, there be risks. I's still learning this. I were on the boat from Ratchet ta Booty Bay when this rogue unstealths and does me from behind. He were nine levels higher than me, so it didn't last too long. Nevertheless, I felt satisfied, and hurried off to tell me friend Bell.
She then proceeded ta tells me what in order to become a man (well, a squid, really), I now needs ta kill a Hordie of me own, preferably one 2 er 3 levels higher than me. So, is on me list of things fer to do this week.

Prophet Velen, You Ain't No Jaina Proudmoore

So, I's been taking advantage of the fact what me dwarf disguise sometimes buggers up and turns me inta a draenaninae, with horns and chintacles and all, to have some fun clearing out the bad guys on Bloodmyst and earn some money. The other day I helped this one bugger kill a buncha evil blood evils and one really tall spacegoat chick so he could blow up Victor's Coil. Never did find out who Victor was. It were easy to tell these were evil blood elves as opposed ta the good ones in Shat and Silvermoon, 'cause I were gettin' paid for to put they's arses down. Anywho, afters we's done I go back ta Blood Watch ta pick up me reward, and the local chief spacegoat says "Oh by the way, there's this really old gluppersugger outside wants to talk to you."

So I steps outside, and there's Prophet Velen waiting fer me - the top Dreannannenei hisself. Now you may remembers what Jaina saw through me disguise like it were made of really easy ta see through stuff, and I's expecting this bugger ta do the same. And he don't strike me as the type to be hungry fer some orc-lovin' the way she were, no matters how amazingly virile I is. And this makes me a little nervous.

But no - he were totally fooled. Slapped me on the shoulder, said I'd done fulfilled some ancient prophecy, saved the spacegoats, blah blah blah. And he talked on and on, and sorta drifted off ta sleep a bit before waking up and talking some more. Lotta stuff about Kil'jaeden and Gul'dan and evil treacherous orcs and spaceships and that thing that spacegoat wimmens do with they's tails and whoo doggie don't that feel good. Okay, mebbe he didn't say that last part and I were mentally drifting during his speachifyings. Not sure. I can't be bothered ta keep track of the details.

Eventually he got to the end and gave me a nice ring and a kinda ugly tabard, both of which they only gives ta the greatest spacegoat heroes. Pfft. Whatta noob. I were half-tempted ta take me disguise off then and there, just ta see the look on his face, but I didn't. He also offered me the hand of his oldest daughter, but I could tell by lookin' at him what he hadn't gotten his groove on in over a thousand years, and while older wimmens is fine now and then, there's a limit, ya know? So I told him no thankee, I weren't the marrying type.

So we had us a party, me and the spacegoats and the furblogs and Admiral Odysseus' crew and all. And I showed Kyleen Il'dinare a few tricks ya don't learn by worshipping the light on top of a giant tree, which she were most grateful for several times. And Prophet Velen? That old fool never did figger out who I really were. So much fer prophecisings.

The Fuhg Are Those Doing on Me Face?

Me magical "Turn Ratter into a Dwarf" device done malfunctioned the other day. Instead turning me into the dwarf, it turned me inta some freakish squid-faced spacegoat. Great googly moogly. And a first season one at that! At least I'm a warrior again.And it done knocked me into some other freaky serververse - one where the rules of engagement is all different, and Hordies and Allies is free ta gank each other, anywhere, anytime. Bugger. Not sure I likes the sound of this.

Fortunatelies, turns out I already gots me a friend over here. This damn fine tasty piece of druidflesh be Bellwether. Say hello, you buggers. She went and got me some netherweave bags, and it only cost me some personal services, which were a win-win trade in me book.

We had us some fun, going down inta the Deadmines and busting Defias heads. Well, okay. She did the busting. Me, I mostly stood back and tried not to get me arse pounded, 'cause as a lowbie spacegoat I's pretty squishy. A few times one of them Defias hunkerduggers managed ta hide in a corner 'til she'd gone by, then run out and whack me. And since somebody whom I will not name but it starts with Bellwethe fergot ta bring any rezzing reagents, I hadda haul me blue-with-a-tail-on-it arse back from the graveyard each and every time.

After a few of these episodes me bodyguard suggested mebbe I should go starkers, supposedly to save wear-and-tear on the gear. I think she just wanted ta see if I had me any more long, waggly appendages hidden away.
That Defias Digger, he weren't sticking around ta find out.

But it all turned out okay. I got me some nice loots, including Smite's Mighty Hammer, the Cruel barb, and Cookie's Tenderizer (in case I feels culinary). Then we went back to the Westfall Inn, where she totally had her way with all me tentacles, and then it were time to say our goodbyes. The next time I tried me magic transformer, I were me regular dwarf form again. So. Huh. Dunno what quite ta make of all this. But it were funs while it lasted.