Is A Certain Lacking Of Amazing Virility

So them good folks at wowhead has done put togethers a new dressin' room tool fers ta prepare yerself fer the transmogalypse. Is pretty spiffy - you buggers should checks it out. Howevers, it mebbe needs a little work. Now, I's all fer armor showin' a little more skin fer the menfolk, and I'd totally rock this armor if'n it goes live like this in 6.2 ....

.... but I's gotta request what if wowhead's gonna show us off, that they gives us a more respectable tallywhacker.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Unintended Consequences Edition

So, Ellspeth done went ta Ungoro Crater recentlies, and....

Wait, why is the little hoppy fish man staring at my forehead? OMG, am I getting a zit? No, that's impossible - I sacrificed those three babies to Uzglquotzl the Devourer for eternally unblemished skin.... Is there a bug on me? Did someone write something on me in permanent ink while I was asleep? Was it my voidwalker? Ratters, WHY IS THE LITTLE HOPPY FISH MAN STARING AT MY FOREHEAD???

They Won't Dance. Don't Ask Them.

"'Cause yer friends don't dance, an' if they don't dance then they's no friends of mine," said Heigan the Unclean Undies, an' Phoenicia an' her friends said "pfffft." Then they proceeded fer ta burn his diseased arse down before he done made it ta Phase Two. No dancin' required. An fer icin' on the cake, he caughed up the wee li'l mace what Phoe had been hankerin' for fer her transmogalypse set.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Kalishna: Abs Of Saronite

Kali don't contribute much ta the blog - when ya gots the personality of the Terminator's little sister, writing don't come natural. But she do be a solid member of the Team, handlin' our Horde-side inscription an' jewelcuttin' needs, an' doin' her share of killin' bad guys 'cause the good guys pay her to. An' like the rest of us she wanted fer ta put tagether a moggin' outfit what said "this is me", where "me" in this case done means "heavily muscled killin' machine".

Ya can mebbe see why Kalishna be a girl after me own heart.

So anywho, here be what she come up with. Is got a lotta ties ta the traditional Acherus Death Knugget get up, but also branches out a bit fer ta make it more personals.



Head: Acherus Knight's Hood
Shoulders: Blood-Soaked Saronite Plated Shoulders
Chest: Ornate Mithril Breastplate
Gloves: Bloodbane's Gauntlets of Command
Back: Worn Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape
Waist: Jouster's Girdle
Legs: Ornate Mithril Pants
Feet: Greaves of the Slaughter
Weapon: De-Raged Waraxe

Suffer well.

MOG ALL THE HELLREAVERS

Just discovered what beer-specced monks (is the tanking spec) is gonna be ables ta equip polearms. Means the glorious Hellreaver, which I feared were gonna be lost in the transmogalypse, may survives after all. Means also what I could has a tankin' team member what looks kinda like this:

Yeah, I'd be down with that.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Danger Mouse: Danger In The Shadows

Hullo. I am Danger Mouse. I am Forssaken.

Transmogrification. Sseems like everyone's going flashy. Raid ssets. Arena setss. Sskimpy ssets. Glowing smoke. Glowing sskulls. Glowing glowingsss. All to be noticed.

Screw that. In my line of work, getting noticed meanss getting dead. Even more dead than I already am. So I went with plain, simple, dark. Perfect for skulking in the shadows. Easy accessss to my throwing knivess. And a couple of ssturdy, reliable weapons. They aren't flashy, but baby, you'll feel them.

If only the Crab would let me dual-equip eyepatchess it'd be perfect.

Head: Nethersstorm Eyepatch
Shoulders: Shoulderpadsss of Asssassination
Torso: Tunic of Asssassssination
Back: NO CAPESSS! Ah-ha-ha-ha.....
Hands: Handgripss of Assassination
Waist: Defiler's Leather Girdle
Legs: Leggingss of Assssassination
Feet: Sure-Sstep Bootss
Main Hand: Conifer Club
Off Hand: Lockbreaker Sshank

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Ellspeth: Green + Purple = Evil, Right?

Hi everyone! I know, I know, I already have a mog outfit, but when I saw this dress in the auction house I just had to have it. I mean, purple to represent magic, and green to represent the remorseless demonic energies I use to mercilessly rip the souls from those who annoy me and send them off to eternal torment in an unspeakable hell dimension. Plus, it brings out the color in my eyes!

So, here's the four one one:
Head: Amethyst Beholder Eye
Chest: Darkmist Wraps
Shoulders: Bog Mantle
Hands: Flamehandler's Gloves
Waist: Felheart Belt
Legs: Cindercloth Pants
Feet: Darkmist Boots
Weapon: Staff of Beasts

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Kinnavieve: Soldier of the Light

I am the champion of justice. I am the protector of the weak. I defend those who cannot defend themselves. I pursue evil in all its forms. Where I stand, the darkness shall not fall. I am the unyielding shield. I am the terrible swift sword. I am a soldier of the Light.

Head: Vengeful Gladiator's Lamellar Helm
Chest: Turalyon's Breastplate of Conquest
Shoulders: Lightbringer Shoulderbracers
Back: Bloodthirsty Hide Cape
Hands: Gauntlets of the Soothed Soul
Waist: Lightbringer Girdle
Legs: Lightbringer Greaves
Feet: Lightbringer Boots
Weapon: Knightly Longsword
Shield: Aegis of the Sunbird

It Be A Slap In The Face

What be the greatest tragedy of the Transmogalypse? It ain't what ya cain't mog yer warlock's raid gear fer ta look like a tuxedo. It ain't what ya cain't have yer resto shaman raid with bunny ears. It ain't what ya cain't mog yer legendary daggers inta a fish and a fryin' pan. No, me friends, is much much worse.

Is the sad fate of Hellreaver.

Hellfluggernubbinreaver. Is the reason warriors, ret pallies, and death knuggets run Ramps an average of 87.26 times when they gets ta Outland. They ain't doin' it fer the stats (although it do be carryin' a crapton of Strength, Stam, and Crit). It ain't because when yer level 60 it is the weapon fer ta have when you absolutely, postively have ta kill every last glubbernumper in the room accept no substitutes. No, is because when ya walks inta a bar afters with it on yer back you looks like stone-cold baddassity incarnate, and yer pretty dang near guaranteed fer ta walk out that night with a pretty girl on each arm. Or boy, or murloc, or whatevers yer preference.

So, is a perfect weapon fer moggin', right? Wrong. And therein lies the tragification. Afters Hellreaver, is only four strength-based polearms in the whole dang game. Lantresor's Warblade, Trident of the Outcast Tribe, and Plasma Rat's Hyper-Scythe in Outland, and the Saliva Corroded Pike in Northrend. Diddly squat zippo butkus in Cata. So us plate wearers ain't got nuthin fer ta mog it onta. Now, I suppose hunters could grab they's one (though any hunter what rolls need fer it against a strength class should be gutted and used fer ta string his own bow), but they's gonna lose the ability fer ta carry polearms along with axes, swords, and harsh language come the MoP. Which leaves.... feral droods. Who ain't got no need fer ta mog nuthin' cause ya cain't even see it under the fur!

So come on, Blizz. Bring back the strength polearms. Think of all the poor little Hellreavers starving in Africa.

If'n ya don't, it be a slap in the face.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Ratshag: Molten Rage

Is a reason what Chess be called "The Game of Kings." Is 'cause orc warriors suck donkey balls at it. Our opening moves tend ta go like:
1. e4 Nf6
2. e5 Nd5
3. d4 d6
4. Shout and smash the glubbernuggin' board with yer axe

Now, I's had me arena Season 1 shoulders and gauntlets since they was the schnitzle, as me friend BRK would say. If'n ya looks up at the blog banner, ya can see me wearin' 'em, long with a ton of TBC gear what be long since vendored. But I never got me the matching brainbucket, 'cause fer one I were usin' me Helm of Holy Crapfuhg That Be Ugly which had decent pvp stats so I spent me tokens or badgers or whatever fuhg were the currency back then on other stuffs. And fer two, well, we all know me brains ain't all that valubles.

But then few months ago the Transmogalypse be announced and sez ta meself, "Self? What we gotta do get that hat?" Well, turns out only way were fer ta buy it with one of them tokens Prince carries, way up top of Kara. But fer ta gets ta Prince, ya gots ta beat Medivh at Chess, and that be were things get trickies. Normalies, ya gots nine friends with ya, helpin' move yer grunts and shoutin' helpfuls like "The worg, Ratters! Move the worg!" but me friends is busy doin' they's things so they ain't availables this time. And Medivh cheats, the dumpergunker. So I been roflstomping me way up the tower, then settling in fer a long slow session of gettin' me arse whipped until I'd get lucky and Medivh'd pull a stupid outta his sleeve. Sometimes I'd beat him on the third go-round, sometimes on the twentieth. But eventuallies I'd knock his king's arse down, and the doors ta the pinnacle would open and I'd go show Prince what he faced Ratshag alone, what I had no legions ta command, and what that didn't matter nohows anyway.

And then he'd drop the wrong token. Every. Single. Freakin'. Time.

But now the Transmogalypse be upon us, and some goblins in Area 52 done figured out what there be gold ta be made sellin' obsolete arena gear. Well, there's honor points ta be made, but I guess they's got some use fer them. So out ta Netherstorm I goes, and picks up me last piece of gear. And now me transmog set be complete.

Is the followings:
Head: Gladiator's Plate Helm
Shoulders: Gladiator's Plate Shoulders
Hands: Gladiator's Plate Gauntlets
Waist: Crimson Girdle of the Indomitable
Legs: Brutal Gladiator's Plate Legguards
Feet: Guardian's Plate Greaves
Tabard: Sunreaver Tabard

Now, weapons may change from time ta time, so I's got one of each kind fer ta cover me bases.

Fer axes: Nightfall

Fer maces, I gots Hatebringer

And fer swords I got me Ashkand, Greatsword of the Bros. That's right, Lothar - not onlies I done peed on yer statue, I gots yer sword too! Yeah, the colors don't match quite as good as them other two, but whofuhg cares? Is fluppergumpin' Ass Candy.

So anywho, I got me moggin' set fer Arms all done now. Still workin' on the tankin' set, but without a functional guild tankin' be a lower priority these days. I'll let you buggers know when it be ready.

TRANSMOGALYPSE!: Kinnavieve - The Darkest Hour

It is hard to remember now, with Arthas slain and the reclamation of the Plaguelands well under way, but there was a time when all hope seemed lost for Lordaeron. The prince had murdered he king, Naxxramas dominated the skies over Stratholme, and in its arrogance the Scarlet Crusade had degenerated into a demon-worshipping cult.

But deep in the ruins of the once-proud nation a small band of men and women refused to surrender to the night. At Light's Hope, the member of the Argent Dawn stood against the Lich King's minions, surrounded, outnumbered, unyielding.

When Arthas unleashed the Scourge Invasion against all the lands of Azeroth, it was the Argent Dawn that led the resistance. I was proud to fight at their side during this final, darkest hour, and I am proud to once again wear the armor I earned in that desperate struggle.

Shoulders: Blessed Spaulders of Undead Slaying
Hands: Blessed Gauntlets of Undead Slaying
Chest: Drakescale Breastplate
Waist: Enchanted Adamantite Belt
Legs: Direwing Legguards
Feet: Enchanted Adamantite Boots
Back:  Cape of the Black Baron
Tabard: Tabard of the Argent Dawn
Weapon: Doombringer

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Maurice: Going native

Afters spendin' time in Northrend, Maurice done felt like gettin' in touch with his not-really-Viking ancestors an' goin' full-bore Vrykul. Now, is easy fer ta find spikey shoulders and horny helms up there, but gettin' ones where the colors matched exactlies were a bit more work. Is that attention ta detail, howevers, what makes the Stormwind ladies swoon.That, and them baby blue eyes. Head: Helm of Command Chest: Battlechest of the Twilight Cult Shoulders: Shoulderplates of the Abolished Waist: Girdle of the Howling Berserker Hands: Plate Claws of the Dragon Legs: Iron Colossus Legplates Feet: Volazj's Sabatons Weapon: De-Raged Waraxe

Transmogalypse Now

Wowhead done set up a tool fer scopin' out a crapton of different "sets" includin' all them random green drops what ain't really sets, with filters fer level, quality, etc. Ain't 100% awesome, but is still pretty damn shiny. If'n yer gonna mog, ya needs ta check it out.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Gogmoth: Thug's Life

Warlocks, they's gots ta keep they's minions in line. Is different ways fer ta do it - feedin'em souls, burnin' they's psyches, makin' promises of freedom what ya don't intends ta keep. Me kid brother Gogmoth, he likes fer ta supplement these with a little intimidationizings and an occasional slap upside the head. He finds is kinda hard fer ta glare a doomguard inta soilin' its loincloth when yer a big orc in a purple dress, though. So come the transmogalypse, he's plannin' on goin' with a more hardcore look:

A Laughing Skull cap he got off a skull what weren't laughin', the Soulstealer Mantle fer the shoulders, and good ol' Netherweave tunic and gloves. Then he's bought up the Silver-thread pants, boots, and sash ta finish the look. And fer waivin' around and lookin' like he could actually lop a head off, he done borrowed Taragaman the Hungerer's Cursed Felblade.

Not bad, lil' bro. Ya almost done convincalized me what yer a tough guy.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Hawt Like Ellspeth

Hi everyone, Ellspeth here. I've just finished putting together my first transmogrification outfit, and I couldn't wait to show it to you. It's kind of inspired by High Inquisitor Whitemane's getup, but it's way hotter. I mean, let's face it, I'm young, Sally's old, and if I'd been strutting in the Cathedral wearing these threads there's no way Mograine would have "fallen".

Are you okay, Ratters? You sounded like you were choking. You sure? All right.

So here's the run-down on it. Whitemane's Chapeau, of course. Red Mageweave Shoulders, Cindercloth Pants, and Hands of Darkness, thanks to my pal Gogmoth the tailor (don't worry, hun, I haven't forgotten about your reward). In Outland I picked up a Goldweave Tunic, Grom'tor's Bloodied Bandage, Ashwalker's Footwraps, and the Invincible Stave. Kinda like the sound of that. Don't you? "Invincible." "InVINcible." Oh, yeah, and the Ancient Bloodmon Cloak to finish it off.

I'd like to thank Kaliope of Kaliope's Crafting Blog and Ironyca and Noelani of the Visual Roleplay Gear List for their ideas. Thanks ladies, the check's in the mail and I'll be sure to drain your souls last. Tootles!

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Alayda - Deep Purple Currents

Many of us buggers at Team Ratshag is all excitified abouts the possibilities in the upcoming Transmogalypse, and has been busy gatherin' ours outfits. Alayda done be the first fer ta have hers all finished, so here it be. Is mostly the recolored shaman T2 pieces what drop in Outland dungeons, but since whacking fluggernumpers while wearing a kilt be kinda awkward, she decided fer ta go with some pants. A couple shout-outs fer thems what helped: ta the lovely Tiz, what done been havin' all the lucks gettin' Corin Direbrew's tankards this year and were way generous with the sharings. And also ta the lovely Suptail, fer makin' the belt and pants.



What it be:
Head: Headdress of the Tides
Shoulder: Mantle of the Sea Wolf
Chest: Harness of the Deep Currents
Belt: Netherfury Belt
Legs: Netherfury Leggings
Boots: Wavefury Boots
Gloves: Fathomheart Gauntlets
Weapons: 2x Tremendous Tankards O'Terror

Is Where The Searing George Gets Kinky

Apparentlies, nekkid spider punching now impressifies the Thorium Bros. Well, they's dwarves, they beats they's own drummers. Place sure has changed since I were in me forty-fifth season....

Anywho, I's exaltified now, which means a Nightfall fer the Transmogalypse. So that's a yay.

Preparin' Fer The Transmogalypse

"Gotta has goals an' priorities, son, " me dad always told me. "You ain't got you some goals and priorities, I's gonna hit ya in the head with this shovel."

So here's some Gs an' Ps me and the Team gonna done be workin on:

Number the One: Get meself exaltified with the Thorium Bros

Number the Two: Farm the crap outta them cultists in they's cave in Searing George

Number the Three: Alayda needs fer ta bang on them TBC heroics. Especiallies the one with them spacedudes what give crappy gems.

Number the Four: Kinnavieve needs fer ta go to the opera and get culturfied

Number the Five: Keep searchin' fer Tyrant and Jade on the AH

Number the Six: Keep MogIt up ta date

Number the Seven: Do more Trial of the Grand Toothpicks dailies

Number the Eight: Pull every glubberfumpin' box outta the Team Ratshag Secret Headquarters attic and dump'em on the floor.

Number the Nine: Need More Battlegrounds

Number the Ten: Find a reddish orangish plate helm what don't make me head look fat

So, that's how we be gettin' prepared fer the transmogalypse. You buggers got some goals and priorities of yer own, or do dad need ta go get his shovel?