Friday, December 2, 2011

It Be A Slap In The Face

What be the greatest tragedy of the Transmogalypse? It ain't what ya cain't mog yer warlock's raid gear fer ta look like a tuxedo. It ain't what ya cain't have yer resto shaman raid with bunny ears. It ain't what ya cain't mog yer legendary daggers inta a fish and a fryin' pan. No, me friends, is much much worse.

Is the sad fate of Hellreaver.

Hellfluggernubbinreaver. Is the reason warriors, ret pallies, and death knuggets run Ramps an average of 87.26 times when they gets ta Outland. They ain't doin' it fer the stats (although it do be carryin' a crapton of Strength, Stam, and Crit). It ain't because when yer level 60 it is the weapon fer ta have when you absolutely, postively have ta kill every last glubbernumper in the room accept no substitutes. No, is because when ya walks inta a bar afters with it on yer back you looks like stone-cold baddassity incarnate, and yer pretty dang near guaranteed fer ta walk out that night with a pretty girl on each arm. Or boy, or murloc, or whatevers yer preference.

So, is a perfect weapon fer moggin', right? Wrong. And therein lies the tragification. Afters Hellreaver, is only four strength-based polearms in the whole dang game. Lantresor's Warblade, Trident of the Outcast Tribe, and Plasma Rat's Hyper-Scythe in Outland, and the Saliva Corroded Pike in Northrend. Diddly squat zippo butkus in Cata. So us plate wearers ain't got nuthin fer ta mog it onta. Now, I suppose hunters could grab they's one (though any hunter what rolls need fer it against a strength class should be gutted and used fer ta string his own bow), but they's gonna lose the ability fer ta carry polearms along with axes, swords, and harsh language come the MoP. Which leaves.... feral droods. Who ain't got no need fer ta mog nuthin' cause ya cain't even see it under the fur!

So come on, Blizz. Bring back the strength polearms. Think of all the poor little Hellreavers starving in Africa.

If'n ya don't, it be a slap in the face.

4 comments:

Jezi said...

See, 'ere be de t'ing, Ratters. Ah be a hunter mahself an' sportin' a mighty shiny polearm 'ese days. Wit' de dawn of de moggins, ah pulled on a little bit o' antique gear det ah been savin' up fer quite some time.

Original plan were ta mog in Rhok 'n Lok (which'ad be a link but Wowhead went down while I was writin' dis) an' go fer de full ol'school hunter vibe, 'specially as ya can't get'm no more. But whatcha know that ol' Lok would be a staff, so ah can'ts mog its. Only good lookin' ol' polearm I has be mah Sonic Spear, which be awesome enough, but it be dat glowy shade o' metallic Outlandy blue an' look right foolish wit' dis gear.

So ah wen' out to Hellfire an' slapped what's-his-name aroun' a bit for the sake of gettin' a Hellreaver ta mog. Didn't take it from no baby warrior or death nugget what could use it. So its sexy badassery be livin' on, mon, don't you worry.

Redbeard said...

I'm all with you, Ratters.

A BE Pally was made --MADE!-- to wield the Blood Tempered Ranseur. Of course, Cata comes along and they dump the damn thing.

Well, in honor of Blood Elves wielding polearms all over the damn place, Q wields a polearm when he's running BGs. Which is fine, except that he gets harassed by people who say "Agility polearm!" at him.

Well, duh.

That's cause you can't find any damn Strength polearms out there.

Do you see the guards in Silvermoon and Eversong Forest wielding swords? Axes? Maces? No sir! They wield polearms!

Bring the damn Strength polearms back!

iinteger said...

There's a bunch of great polearm models. I'd even just like to use Bonechewer to mog with, in memory of my early days as a ret wielding it. But nooo, cool stuff all goes to the hunters...

Asaoirc said...

Speaking as a hunter - I'm madly annoyed with the fact I have no staves to transmog my Lok'Delar onto!