Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Is Where Maurice Finds A New Interest

Well, hello there, my sweet little apple blossom. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove, and I am preparing a Heart Strike just for you.

Morani? What a lovely little name, for such a lovely little person. Did you know it sounds like "moron"? Ha ha, it is to laugh. I made a joke, did you not see? Now you must laugh too.

Oh, so you have heard of me? I am not surprised, for the ladies, they do talk. No doubt, many who have swooned from my overwhelming presence have gone home to tell their friends. They discuss how wonderful it would be to possess me, do they not? Perhaps some yearn for something delightfully outré, such as a ménage à cinq, or perhaps even à sept? Ho ho, they are so delightfully naughty.

You are a paladin, I see. It is a noble calling is it not? I was once a paladin. Maurice, the Paladin of Looove they called me, the scrumptious ladies of Lordaeron, and oh how the swooned as I walked past. I wore glorious armor, and wielded a mighty sword.... Ah-ha, but I do still wield a mighty sword. No doubt you are anxious to see it.

Ah, so it is Kinnavieve has mentioned me to you? Yes, my jaw has healed nicely, thank you. Such a feisty vixen, that one. So full of energy and a zest for life. Clearly she wishes me to pursue her more, but I am too cunning for such a simple game. No, I am biding my time, laying a trap, waiting for her needs and urges to become so great that she must needs come to me.

She has been training you to be a Soldier of the Light too? Ha ha, that is noble of her. But my sweet little nectarine of passion, you are a dwarf! You are too short to be a soldier! And it is a hard, cold life. Come, let me carry you off to my bunker of love, where you will rest on silk sheets, and smoke the finest hashish in the hookah, and I will teach you how to use your tongue to-


-a- a -i-e -i-, -y -e-i----u- -e-u-ia. -o -o- -o--y, -y -a- --a-- -ea- -oo-, a-- --e- -e -a- --ay --e -a-e a-ai-! Au -e-oi-!


Eversor said...

So what's scarier? Maurice's 80's part-in-the-middle feathered hair and porn-stache or the fact that he's trying to get it on with a dorf?

Sassafras said...

I don't know... but I missed him!
Poor Kinna... Poor Morani.....

Arleen said...

*Snickers* He deserved it. Bring on the dorf action. After all, how can you not love a woman who can bend steel with her thighs?

Kayeri said...

::sputtering with laughter while husband asks if he wants to know and daughter says she's had ENOUGH of the laughter already!::

Saffron said...

I missed the Death Knight of Looooove so much.

Welcome back, Ratshag :)

Anea said...

"After all, how can you not love a woman who can bend steel with her thighs?"

Arleen, I heartily agree!

*eagerly anticipates*

Cap'n John said...

After getting his jaw broken a second time (I assume that was the *wham*) I would have expected Maurice to sound more like Galertruby.

Sarai said...

I missed Maurice sooo much. Hahaha

Anonymous said...

Poor maurice, you ALMOST feel sorry for him..

Tho, if it had been katt maurice was pestering.. her treants bark is as bad as their bite..