Where Are You Going With This .... Thing?

It ain't fair, mon. Little red-head dwarf girl get a han'some troll fella ta play wit, an I get stuck wit an abomination. Hay! Put yo guts back in yo belly!

Is Where Sumthin' Ain't Right

Now, me and Kinnavieve, we's both veteran tanks. And we gots a lotta respect and affection fer each other. And we's both swingin' Tier 9 - level tankin' weapons.
But how is it what the pasty-skinned human got the axe, while the amazingly virile orc got the sword? Is all backwards and discombobulated, I tells ya.

Her Toes Be Froze, Mon

Hello, mon. Dis here be Alayda the shaman. Been a while, so you may not remember me. 'Sokay, chile, Alayda remembers you.

I reached mah sixty-eighth season in Nagrand, taming da wild spirits in dat land. I tell ya, mon, dey not happy after what dem demon-folk an' mage-folk done to da place. Coulda stayed for years, mon, healing da damage, but dem Earthen Ring masters tol' dis here troll I be needed elsewhere. So I took one of dem crazy goblin flying machines to da Northrend...

It be cold here, mon! I be tellin' it true. Mah skin would be a-turnin' blue, if it was not already. Ah-hahahaha-ha! I be t'inkin', it be too cold ta grow da ganja up here, an' dat be why dem Drakkari be so crazy.

Dere be a lotta dead mans here in da Howling Fjord, practicin' dey own kin' voodoo. Mouse, you hurry up an' get yo' self up here, chile! You fit right in!

Here be giants! Dese here Vrykul, mon, dey be twice big and ugly as Drakkari, and jus' as crazy in dey's heads.

"Keep yer badgers in the bank, for laters," say da boss Ratshag. "It not be a badger, mon, it be a emblem." "Same thing," he say.

I tell you, chile, every be goin' crazy in da Northrend.

You Buggers Missed One

So, me and The Purge was kickin' around Dalaran in the Secret Purge Headquarters and Laundromat, when I says, Hey! Let's go check out that Ice Cream Social place, mebbe there's still some action we can get in on there. So off we heads, and great googly moogly, there's a bug-arsed floaty skeleton thingy with a lotta heads. How the fuhg all you high-end raider types been missin' him fer the past eight months, I got no clue. But, the bluggernubber gotta die - cain't be leavin' bosses wanderin' around like they owns the joint.

So die he did.

Is big thanks ta Stop the identity-challenged Death Knugget fer lending us a hand this night. In additions ta him, we had the following Purginistas: Tarsius the grumpy druid, Zinzi what Gives Good Resurrection, and Cameron what sounds like Swaggerin what sounds like Zeenaa was all on heals. Lady Jessrayge, Rim Who Be Awesome, Ixtaros What Smells Only A Little Dead, and Throttle What Smells All Kinds of Dead joined the Stoppifier on deeps. And as usual tanking were provided by Big Bad Guun and me truly.

After them bones, them bones stopped a-clatterin' we found a couple nice swords in the rubblefications. A big one fer Ix, and a little one fer Rim. Was a most successful outing.

Some Bank Alts Is More Badass Than Others

A Lesson On Being A Soldier Of The Light

Kinnavieve, I am troubled.

What is it, young Jinnik?

So many of the adventurers I am working with to clear dungeons. They .... they are not very good.

Ah. You must remember, Jinnik, you and I are soldiers of the Light. We have a sacred duty to help and each our fellow travelers. Remember, many of them do not have seniors to learn from, as you and I did from Ratshag. Seniors who are wise in the ways of the blogosphere, and had the good fortune to dungeon raid with such legends as Vonya and the Big Red Kitty. You must be patient with them, and gently explain that Righteous Fury will focus the monsters anger against the most easily healed member of the party, and that a hunter will slay his foes more readily if he stands at a distance and fires his bow rather than charging in like a warrior. Teach them to wait for the group defender to maneuver the foe to an advantageous position, and to wait when you need to replenish your mana. Always remember that a soldier of the Light is calm and serene and patient with those not as knowledgeable or experienced.

But Kinnavieve, what if that is not enough?. What if one of my team members does not heed my instructions, but insists on behaving in a reckless fashion?

Ah. Should that be the case, then break his frickin' jaw.

Whoa. Check Out The Bazoongas On Her

Phoenicia, our little red-headed ball of fury, done be the latest member of Team Ratshag fer ta reach her 80th season. Ta celebrates, she been workin' on gearin' and reppin' up. So far is new shoulders, new boomstick, and of course new weapons ("the gels" she calls 'em).

Of course I meant her maces. What you think I meant? You buggers got dirty minds.