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10-man Naxx Guide

The Purge Goes To Utgarde Keep

Felt good ta lead me old guild inta a dungeon again, after a hiato- haitus- haiaiai- bugger it. a long break. We only had four of us available - me, Throttle the Tinker, Mr Hoof on Healz, and shiny new Death Kinght Ix - so this ended up being more of a recon mission than a full-out killing spree. I just gots one question on our tactilizations, though: How comes when we ran into the instance, everybody but me nakedified?

Seriously. How comes?

Well, Thanks Kitty

So I's gettin ready last night fer me date with the Tuskarr Wimmens Cliff-Diving Champion when Kinnavieve comes running into the Team Ratshag HQ with her face in her hands. Right past me, into the bedroom, and slams the door. The bedroom. The only bedroom. And I got a big date coming up. This is not good.

I look at Danger Mouse, who's sitting in the corner not-reading a book with her no eyes. She gives me a non-look that says "you're the boss. You deal with it." Hunnh.

"Uh, Kinn?" I says to the door. "You all right?"

"No! I hate him!" comes a muffled reply.

"Hate who?"

"Stupid stinky dwarf."

"Um, yeah, they is. Which one in particular?"

"Stupid stinky spirit beast."

"Oh, that one. What he do?"

"He said I should be on UgliestPaladinInWoW.com. And he told everybody! He said I went out of my way to get the ugliest armor and the ugliest helmets and the ugliest everything. It's not my fault I never got a chance to get Lightbringer Armor!"

"That's right! And I think you should get up off of that bed and go tell him so. Like in the next (/check watch) 10 minutes."

"Stupid stinky 30-year-old-virgin horndog armor designers."

"Yes! And you should get up right now and go give them fluggernubbers a piece of your mind! Or a piece of your mace! Piece of anything."

"Stupid stinky Murkblood Avengers."

And so it went. I hadda cancel my date with the Tuskarr Wimmens Cliff-Diving Champion; well, postpone it, technically, but now that bugger Maerrakech gonna get a chance ta make his movifications on her first. Ah, well, plenty of other large marine mammals in the sea. Anywho, I eventually coaxed her out with the combined temptation of undead trolls to smash up in ZD and some cookies Danger Mouse had just baked. Heard her mutter something about "gonna bubble-hearth on his ass" as she went tromping off in her very becoming armor.

And Kitty, since me evening plans got shot down by all that, next time we's bar-hopping and ya needs a wingman fer ta help make yer move on some tasty piece of nelf-flesh? Just summon up yer rhino.

Galertruby's Guide To Preparing For 10-Man Naxx

Garhhl. Gahhl galha Garrrahhalagh.

Gllah gahr allahhgrl ghallagl gah. Agh glahhgl glahhgl garrh gahhlahr glahhr, ga gallhahl! Aglhha gahllragl gllah aghhrla gahhllrah gah glaghhlh glahh. Aghahll garhhr glahhlglhaarhga ghallah allha, garrharlh agghal ga arhhh galahhargh. Glallh garrh, gahhlahglahhr agglh ahghlagl glagglha ga arhhh.

Gaghaha aglah agghr laghalagh grahagl, gaghaha glhahg agrgha laghahrag. Glhaggla agg larhg galhagga ghaha alahg, glah, gahaghga gahlgal allahg glha:

• Glaghhl gahrgha ghahagg glah
• Agghal galgh gahhragla agg ghaglh
• Glarhga allahg
• Laghl gahagllarahgahalhgrhagl

Glaglha gha, aggrahgl lahg gahhaglarh. Garrh glahaggl glha agghalarg agglahar ghaggl aglha. Agglh ahghlagla agh grrhal, gallha gra gahhllha gallraghl ahl lagglarh. Gahhaga:

• Gallhr glah garrahhalglar
• Agrhh glagglha gha ghrallhalha
• Gha
• Allagha gha glahhal

Gahagrl!

Glahhgrl glah arrlh aggrhala gahhl glha. Glahg grahhglh glhhlhalha gahhr garrha, aglh glhha gharhl. Glhagl gllha ahhr glahhlglhaarhga ghallah allhag. Gllha garrharlh aglhha gahllragl. Gllah aghhrla gahhllrah gah glaghhlh glahh, gahhl aghhr garahhghlahhrgh aghraahl glhahhl gahhlah. Glah aghr Ghrallhahl gha gahrrlagahr agh gahlagh. Agghlagh garrh arhhlagh gahl grah glahhghl. Glahgl arhlg glah:

• Gllah gahr allahhgrl GhallaglGah
• Laggaha glha aghal
• Agh graglha ahgha
• Gahhllrah gah glaghhlh

Glhargal glah agglha arglhaglh, gahalg aggla gahrlagghl. Laggharlag agglha gah. Aglh aglha gallh gahll gahrrallah. Agrhh glagglha gha ghrallhalha ghagglha gaharrgh glha agglahg, agh argalagh gahhll garhh ahhghr glahh.

Alhhagh gha,
Garrrahhalagh

A Dark Day

I shouldn't be alive.

If it hadn't been for that sortee on our left flank ...

If I hadn't ...

::sharp inhale::

You have probably already heard of what happened, there at Wrathgate. If not, well, you will. Oh, you will. I- I don't want to talk about it. It's too much. Too soon. Too...

But now I'm holding-

She says I must-

But I'm only-

But I'm-

::covers eyes::

::ragged breaths::

::ragged breaths::

::deep breath::

I'm sorry. It's just so overwhelming. And I'm still trying to understand. To make some sense of it...

	The day began in the town of Wintergarde, in the the Dragon Blight, where for the past few days I have been helping to beat back Scourge attacks. This morning we had a breakthrough when I was able to obtain the phylactery of the Lich Thel'zan, commanding the attacks. With it, I drew him out of his lair in the catacombs beneath the city to where Commander Yorik of the 7th Legion and best troops were waiting. The foul monster put up a tremendous fight, and summoned a swarm of ghouls to aid him, but in the end we were victorious. After, High Commander Wyrmbane himself credited me with having turned the tide of the battle. Which was rather an exageration - after all, many had contributed and sacrificed. ::secretly bursting with pride:: And then, he dispatched me to the base at Angrathar, to report to Lord Bolvar Fordragon, commanding the Alliance half of the seige of Arthas' citidel. Wow. Me. Holy frickin' cow.
	There she was. Alexstraza the Life-Binder, queen of the dragons. Lord Fordragon had asked me to ask for her help in clearing the skies over Wrathgate. She was so strong and powerful and frickin' important, I just couldn't believe she would have any time for me. Yet when they brought me before her, and she smiled at me, and said, "It is good to meet you in person, Kinnavieve. I have known you since before you were born." I, well, gosh, what do you say to that? When she looked at me, with her glowing eyes, I felt like she was looking into me, into my soul, searching for something. With anyone else I would have felt threatened and naked, but with her it felt safe, loving, maternal. I realize that doesn't make much sense - I just don't know how else to explain it. Not only did she agree to help us, she sent me to lead her dragons to kill Grand Necrolord Antiok and end the Scourge's control of the frost wyrms. And the attack on Wrathgate began.
	I- The betrayal- The screams- And- And he was falling- :: wipes tears :: I still can't talk about it. I'm sorry. You've probably heard what happened already, anyway. I- I really can't add anything to that story. I shouldn't even be alive. :: sharp breath :: But afterward, Alexstrasza was there, on the battlefield. And she called to me. And she asked me to take his- to take it to the king. And to tell the king that he musn't lose faith.
	And then she said- She said that the Alliance needed a hero. That they needed me. But...

That can't be right. I'm no hero. I'm just Kinnavieve, woodcutter's daughter from Nowhereshire. Heroes are larger than life, like Tirion Fordring, or Ratshag, or Bol-
Darn it, a hero wouldn't be standing here clutching his shield and bawling some scared little girl! There must be someone else!
...

But she just looked at me with those huge, deep, glowing eyes. She didn't say anymore. But I could sense that she believed what she was saying. And I just- I just couldn't bear the thought of letting her down. Even though I knew she was so wrong about me.

:: sniff ::

I'm not a hero. I'm just frickin' not. But I'l be damned if I'm going to let the Queen of the Dragons down.

:: grits teeth ::

My people do need a hero now. And, if I'm the best they've got, then I owe it to them to give them the best I've got. I owe it to him, and everyone else who died today. And I will do the absolute best I can.

Jessika Was Right

It's a frickin' ugly-ass log!

mutter mutter old one looked mean mutter goofy mutter mutter squishies better not frickin laugh mutter mutter mutter

Aggro. Kinn Has It.

Hello gentle readers.

I reached my 75th season yesterday and, after talking it over with Ratters and my trainer, decided to re-train as a protection paladin. A tank. So I put down my one gold coin to reset my talents, and then got it wrong picking my new ones.

::grimace::

So I put down my five gold coins to reset my talents, and a few minutes later I was a tank. Blessing of Kings. Avenger's Shield. Hammer of the Righteous. I has them. Skillz?

::nervous grin::

I get back to you on that.

Well, less than half an hour later, my GMs Fio and Ban were looking for a tank for a den of Nerubians called Azjol-Neruboob (at least, that's whan Ban called it...) and hey! Guess who was available! Couple other people and in we went. In the tunnels. With the bugs. Have I mentioned that I hate bugs?

::shudder::

Okay, well, at first I was pretty newbish. I had some trouble remembering what I was supposed to do to manage the mobs (and it didn't help that I'd forgotten to lock my spells down and I sorta "lost" consecrate for a bit there) and, well, there were a few deaths. But a couple resurrection spells and we were back in business. And we got that place cleared out, yes we did.

So. What's up next? (Hopefully with not so much bugs.)