Successful Hotel Slogans

"Feel the Hyatt Touch."

"The Right Way. The Wyndham Way."

"Relax, it’s Holiday Inn."

"The best surprise is no surprise."

"Discover a hotel that defines a new dimension of luxury."

You buggers notice a pattern? That's right! Ain't none of them hotel chains goes aroun' braggin' "Our innkeeper gots lice!"

Or mebbe he eats lice. Is kinda a ambiguosity, an' I ain't really all that anxious fer ta find out either way.

The Horror. The Horror.

Yeah, remember what a crapfest the Blades Edge Mountains were? Turns out, it were an improvement. Gorgrond done took the worst parts of Utah and the Congo, through 'em in a blender, then added some unmentioned bodily fluids an' served it up in a fluggernubbin' martini glass. Is all the yuck. We gots ancient rock demigods throwin' down with ancient plant demigods. We gots wasps big enough fer ta throw a saddle on. We gots funguses infectin' yer brain an' totallies makin' you they's bitch.

An' we got innocent lil' kids bein' forced ta eat .... fruit.