Don't Fuhg With Helium

So John Carter done beat the Lone Ranger in last week's poll, 14-4. Yay space opera!

This week, ta celebrates some crazy bugger in Florida runnin' off with over 30,000 pounds of Crisco, we's gonna settle that age old battle betweens slippery stuff (16 tons of Crisco) an' sticky stuff (500 miles of electrical tape). Or mebbe is a battle between two songs. I just does the polls - you buggers do the rules.

The Return Of "Who Would Win?"

So is back, after a coupla years hiatifying. This week we's gonna settle which of Disney's two recents colossal bombs done be the tougher - The Lone Ranger or John Carter. Or ya pick between the 1930s radio show an' Edgar Rice Borrough's Tarzan on Mars books. You buggers make the rules, I just post the results an' pretends what they mean anything. Anywho, is poll up in the sidebar.

At Long Last, Our Kitchen Nightmare Is Over

Results from the last poll be in, an' the Swedish Chef done trounced Gordon Ramsay, 103 ta 20. Börk Börk Börk!

This week we done continued the food theme, with a showdown between two fast food classics. No, not thems. No, thems neither. Ya wanna know, go check out the poll in the sidebar.

Wax On, Wax Off

Well, no dimunitive but surprisinglies wise and vorpal asian man done jumped in fer ta save him this time. The Karate Kid done got carried off ta a fate worse than death by the Creature from the Black Lagoon, 64 ta 28.

This week we done has a showdown between the two bad boys of the kitchen. Poll be over in the sidebar, as usualls.

Yeah Is Past Time Fer A New Poll

So, last time we done did this, Superman showed what he also be the Man of Biphase Carbide, handily whuppin' the Ogre Mark V 68 ta 27. Now we got a new poll up, dredged up from the murky depths of that gray lumpy thing what I calls me brain. It be over on the sidebar, as per usuals.

Who's Got The Right Stuff Now, Beeyatch?

So in our last poll, James Bond's tuxedo put in a solid performance, receiving 62 votes ta Chuck Yeagers's flight suit's 31 and Madonna's Egypto-Greco-Burlesquo-inspired .... thing's 17. Spiffy.

This week, we's lookin' at two of the biggest badarses evers what ain't me. Make yer choice in the sidebar, as usuals.

Mebbe They Should Re-release The Movie In 3D With A CGI Alien

The readers done spoken, and Bart Simpson convincingly done smacked down ET, 78 ta 39.

This time around we gots a three-way goin'. Is up in the sidebar, as per usuals.

Don't Have A Cow Phone Home, Man

Been a while since we done a new poll. Last time out, Scrappy Doo solidly defeated Jar Jar Binks, 72-28, conclusively provin' what nobody likes neither of them. This time we gots a coupla vertically challenged troublemakers from the 80s. They even kinda look alike. Well, they's eyes, anywho. Poll be in the sidebar, as usuals.

Bueller...? Bueller ...?

Well, it started off close, but then that wascawy wabbit surged ahead of the kid in the Ferrari, cruisin' ta an easy 83 ta 20 win. Shoulda stayed in school, kid. Fer this weeks poll I's pullin' out a coupla characters I know a lotta you buggers would like ta see both lose. Well, too damn bad - I ain't givin' ya that option. Ya gots ta pick one, over in the sidebar as per usuals.

Two Buggers With "The" In They's Names

I loves it when we has a close one. Mad Max and Mr. Toad was neck-and-neck there, but in the end Max hit the nitro boost and took the lead. Final tally: Mad Max 43, J Thaddius Toad, Esq. 39. Yay on them.

This time, we's got a couple nasty dudes with sorta similar names. Poll's up in the sidebar, as usual.

Mebbe Is Easy Bein' Green Afters All

The web-footed wonder done raised the curtains and lit the lights on the gangster in our last poll, with 68 votes fer Kermit and 36 fer Jabba the Hutt.





This week we done gota a coupla legendary inventor/gunslingers goin' at each other. New poll, up in the sidebar, as usuals.

And The Winner Be..... Mary

I never knows what's gonna happen when I done make these polls. I just pick a fight what amusifies me, and I throw it out there and see what you buggers think. Latest poll, we done gots Mary, Queen of Men What Wear Skirts knockin' down A Bloody Mary, 51 ta 46. The Proud Mary and The Queen Mary was way in the back, with 10 each.

This time around, we'd gonna see who sucks less when it comes ta high speed pursuitifications. Is new poll up in the sidebar, as per usuals.

20,000 Leagues Under The Blog

Got a little distracted with that BlizzCon kerfluffle and NaBloPoBoZo, but is past time fer ta get a new poll up. Last time out, Jules Verne done had clownfish fer dinner, with Ol' Cap Nemo takin' down lil' Nemo 80 ta 29. This week we's got a multiple choice cage match free-fer-all fer ya buggers.

"That Wasn't Flying!"

Buzz done used his little lightbulb what blinks fer ta take down the future star of Wrestlemania and Santa With Muscles, 62 ta 31. Not bad fer falling with style. Word is King Kong Bundy now wants a go at Woody the Cowboy (or possibly Mr Potatohead) but that ain't happenin' this week. This week we's goin' ta the birds.

She'd Have Gotten Away With It Too, If Not Fer Them Meddling Kids

Wow, was our closest poll ever, with several lead changes along the way. But in the end, the van with teenagers, a dog, and America's Top 40 done edged out a bus with Australian drag queens and Agent Elrond Smith - 68 ta 66. Is Congo rats all around.

This week we gots a superhero poll. Sorta.

New Poll

Ninjas >> Vampire Hunters be the verdict, with John Quincy Adams handilies defeatin' the Sun King, 76 ta 40. Thankee ta everyones what participated.

This week we's goin' vehiculars. New poll up in the sidebar, as usuals.

Genre Mash-Up Poll

Captain Caveman done beat out Molly 70 ta 22, definitively proving what you buggers watched a lot more Saturday morning cartoons than read breakthrough cyberpunk novelizings. And Kes, I's sendin' ya the Director's Cut DVD of the classic Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels / Josie and the Pussycats Team-Up, fer yer cultural enlightenments.

This week we's goin' historicals bad-asses. Sorta. Anywho, is in the sidebar, same as usuals.

New Poll

Inspector Gadget easily The Dude With The, You Know, Things, 58 (65%) to 31 (34%).

For this weeks poll, we's got two new buggers, neither of which were made up by me, with plenties of alli... allala... allateratives.... Bugger it. Words what start with the same glubbernuggin' letter.

Going High Tech This Week

Cthulhu landed a solid victory, 78 to 48 over the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Meanwhile, only 55% of you was paying attentions ta the important instructions during Ghost Busters. Go watch it again, the rest of you buggers!

For this week's poll we's a little closer ta this here plane of reality. But not too much.

New Poll

Well, Saruman the White staged a late-inning rally, but it weren't enoughs fer ta stop the Poppins from totally thrashing him with her umbrella. Final tally: 68 votes fer Mary, 20 fer the Master of Orthanc.

This week, we's kickin' it up a notch and lettin' some major-league gods duke it out. And feel free ta vote in the special bonus poll as well!