Monday, November 22, 2010

What Ta Do When Peace Done Breaks Out

Is been a few years now since Arthas done bit the big one, and peace done pretty much broke out all over. So, with no more good guys done paying me fer ta kill bad guys, I went and took me earnings and done built me a ranch. Is a nice-sized spread in the middle of the Barrens, a little southeast of Crossroads. Here I been raisins mostly kodos, some fer the meat and leather, but some fer training as mounts. These we drive over ta Mulgore twice a year, 'cept a few I hangs onta fer ta sell ta the black market in Ratchet. Them gnomes, they do loves fer ta get they's hands on a kodo mount. Enjoys lookin' down on folks fer a change, I figgers. Anywho, they pay good. We also got us some zhevras and longnecks and plainstriders, fera bit of variety.

Most days, after I make me rounds, I relaxes on me front porch, sippin' mint juleps and watching the world turn by with a lady friend and throwin' me booterang at the peons. (Heh - it put da booterang on da skin 'cause you's a buncha lazy glubberfubbers, that's why!) Couple weeks ago, Avatar of Freya dropped in fer a few days. I introduced her ta quillboar bacon, which she developed a real taste fer, and let her vent about her boss' crazy-arsed non-linear regressive bio-matrices, whatever they's be. Didn't have a bed fer, of course, but is kinda refreshin' gettin' it on under the starlight. I sure the centaurs down by the oasis didn't get no sleep, but that ain't me problem.

Is some nasty politics goin' on these days, but I tries what ta stay out of it. King Wrynn and Clefthoof-Dung-Fer-Brains over in Org be gettin' cranky with each other, buildin' forts and whatnot, but I keeps a neutral house, and stays on good relations with both Vol'jin and Jaina. Since Theramore be just down the road, she drops in fer a visit from time ta time. Great googly moogly, the woman knows some wild polymorph spells when she be in the mood fer ta get her freak on. Bit of Spell Reflection in the mix just make it that much more fun.

Anywho, is a good life, and a nice way fer ta retire. Now, if onlies these dang earthquakes'd go away it'd be perfect.


Dechion said...

Sad thing is I could totally see him in retirement, just chilling out, thinking his fightin' days were behind him.

Then that great flying Jay Leno of dragons is gonna come and screw it all up.

Stupid dragons, always gettin' on my nerves.

Grimmtooth said...

Great googley moogley, I sure hope Maiden isn't the jealous type ... or have a web browser, any way.

Grimmtooth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chawa said...

"Clefthoof-Dung-Fer-Brains" is perfect!

Thogrum said...

I hear ye, Laddie. I've been spendin' me time between learning how to be a gour-met cook of the Dwarven foods and fishing in me boyhood fishing hole in Loch Modan. I do a little contract work fo those relentless buggers in th' Argent Crusade from time to time mopping up the last of Arthas's minions, and teaching in th' War College in Ironforge, but it's mostly time to relax, and warm up from me time Northrend. Hope ye are enjoying' the ranch life boyo!

BethE said...

So, the premier Azarothian judge of fine orc ladies, what say you on this Aggra over in Nagrand making with the arguing with Thrall?

Joar said...

I'd like to nominate "Clefthoof-Dung-Fer-Brains" as the new achievement name for the Garrosh portion of the For the Alliance achievement. I just about snorted coffee out of my nose.

Donda Wildhoof said...


Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains just about fits him.

I hear Vol'Jin has been calling him Warchief Raptor-Guano-For-Brains, and now I know where he got it from.