Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Kinnavieve. Dragonslayer.

Hi everyone!

Did you know that Lady Prestor was really the dragon Onyxia in disguise??!? I mean, she was right there in the innermost circles of power of Stormwind, influencing policies and, and, and, well, whatever it is they do in the innermost circles. And nobody knew! Not until King Varian came back, just a few weeks ago, and set things right. At least, in Stormwind.

Well, Sunday night some of my guildies got to talking about that, and decided it was time that someone finish that scaly bitch off once and for all, before she could meddle any more. Which I thought was a splendid idea. Serve her right, and all. Then one of them said, "Hey Kinn, want to come with us?"

Wait, you mean me?
So there we are, deep in a cave in the Dustwallow Marshes, preparing to do battle with one of the fiercest monsters in all Azeroth. Three decorated heroes, veterans who had defeated Nightbane and Magtheridon and Lady Vashj and Prince Kael'thas. Their epic armor and weapons were glorious to behold. And then there is me, who had defeated ... umm ... some Arakkoa? and Hogger?::gulp::

(Oh crap, what am I doing here?)
::deep breath::
::grits teeth::

I did my best to contribute. I hit her with my polearm as hard as I could, and I kept my spellbook handy so I could quickly find the spells that they told me to use. At least, I tried. I mean, some of them I had never cast before and couldn't even frickin' remember having studied. But, I looked them up as quick as I could.
::nervous laugh::

And they had lots of helpful comments and suggestions:
"Oh, did we tell you to stay away from the tail? Otherwise that happens."
"Get between her legs, Kinn! Haha, won't Ratters get a chuckle out of that one!"
"Did you get feared into the whelps, Kinn? That's a 50 DKP Minus!"

Onyxia was tough and fought hard, but we got her down after about 15 minutes or so. And then the rest of the group were so nice, they let me take her head back to Stormwind to present to the king! Wow. I mean, me. Kinnavieve, from Nowhereshire, Elwynn Forest, to go to King Varian. Just, wow.

And it wasn't until I was in the throne room, in front of his majesty and the young prince, that I remembered. Me in my totally frickin'  inappropriate armor of the skank. Oh sweet Elune, what do I do?

Well, his majesty accepted my offering of Onyxia's head, and didn't tell me to get my RUIDP-self to the red-light canal, but oh I could tell he did not approve.
::bites lip::
Oh well.

Speaking of outfits, take a look at what a couple of Scryer agents were able to whip up for me from varios looted odds and ends:
Now, that is what armor should look like. It protects everything, and it all matches. I even got to have pretty hair. Okay, the beard tickled a bit, and having to strap down my boobs was frickin' uncomfortable, but still. Real-looking armor. I wants it!

You hear me, Ratters?


Anonymous said...

And you may have thought that King Varian didn't approve...but that scowl may be the only expression he knows how to make. I've never once seen the man smile. (Admittedly, the only time I've ever seen him is when I was sneaking through his lovely city to fish. It's tough being a fishercow in Stormwind.)

Anonymous said...

I'm telling you that if you wear all that armor mobs will hit you more. With what you have it distracts them from hitting you giving you better dogde and parry ability

Bell said...

King Wrynn doesn't look like he ever approves of much at all.