Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Is Big Grats Ta Tantria What Gives Goo-whegh hagh blech

Whew. Sorries about that. Got me some splinters in me tongue, and sometimes they cause speachifying issues. Where were I?
Oh yeah! Is big hairy congo rats ta me little friend Tantria What Gives Good Screaming Death. Way back when, when I were just an orcling in me 23rd season, that spunky 15th season warlock said fer me ta polish and grease me hooves fer she were chasing me and planned on a-catching me. (When I reminded her I were an orc and not a tauren and therefore ain't got no hooves, she told me ta go polish whatevers needed polishing and grease whatever needed greasing. So I did) Well, it done took over two years, but the little lady done caught and passed me, dinging 80 when I still gots me a season ta go. So is a very warm grats to her!

Oh, and Tantria? I's totally digging yer day-glow tabard of boob-enhancing.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Saturday Night Drunken Singings

Ratshag:
Now on the day I war born,
The nurses all gathered 'round.
They gazed in wide wonder
At the virility they had found.
The head nurshe spoke up -
Said leave this one alone.
She could tell right away
That I were bad ta the bone.

Baaaaaaaaaaad ta the bone.
Baaaaaaaaaaad ta the bone.
B-b-b-baad! ...hic!
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-baaad!
Whoo! Baaaaaaaaaaaad ta the bone!

Kinnavieve:
Ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall!
Ninety-shix bottles of beer! *swig*
You take one down, pass it around,
Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall

Danger Mouse:
Grandpa's cannibalizing Ssister Sally
Grandma's a walking corpshe now
The cattle all have got the Scourge
We'll get through somehow.

Ssweet home Lordaeron
Play that dead man's song ...hic!
Turn the speakersss up full blasht!
Play it all night long.

Alayda:
Awhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
*scratch a flea*

Kinnavieve:
Seventy-one bottles of beer on the wall! ...hic!
Sheventy-one bottles of beer! *swig*
You take one down, pass it around,
Seventy bottlesh of beer on the wall!

Ellspeth:
I know an old lady who swallowed a fly
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who shwallowed a horse
KABOOOOOOOM!
She's dead, of course! ...hic!

Hee hee, I love just skipping to the ending!

Galertruby:
Aggla ahaggl glarha gha!
Gagglha gahahgglh algagagrhahg
Gralgha glah agghahgla alhga gla!
Galhg glarlgha gagahahg ahlghalagh ...hic!
*rythmic slapping of tabletop*
Glah!
Alhg!
Gaghal argaha aggrha glaglha!
*jumping up and down, flailing*

Kinnavieve:
Thirty-sheven frickin' bottlesh of beer on the wall! ...hic! *swig*
Thirty-frickin bottlesh of beer! ...hic! *swig*
Ya take it down passh it 'round! ...hic! *swig*
Twenty-eleven bottlesh of beer on the wall! ...hic! *swig*

Palintera:
I see treesh of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myshelf what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark shacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Is Not Just Another Big Axe

Is the axe. Is the axe what makes us warriors. Nobody else can has one, not retadins, not shammies, not even death nuggets. And now in me Orctacles outfit I has the Whirlwind Axe once again.
Is big, big thanks ta me friend Bellwether fer takings the time ta come down ta the Alteracs fer ta help me get it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Is 'Cause Mystic Nibbles Wanted It

What be in a name?

Me and me kid brother Gogmoth, we be named fer famous orc heroes of old times. Me fer Shagrat, the captain of Cirith Ungol, and him fer Gothmog, the Witch King's lieutenant. Ma just liked fer ta mix the letters up a bit. Now, don't go believin' everything what ya reads about these buggers in the history books. Old Tolkien, he were prejudicified against orcs.

Ellspeth, she be named fer the beautiful, brave princess in Dragonslayer. Course, that one got barbequeued and eatified, which were pretty funny.

Danger Mouse? Well, if you was a tiny vicious killing machine, wouldn't ya like that a lot better than "Nancy Burnside"? I think so.

Sally Shears, what you buggers ain't met yet (she's a Death Knight of the gnomish persuasion what hangs with Lady Jess) got her name from classic literature. Sally Shears, aka Molly Millions, aka just Molly, were a jacked-up, silver-eyed, razors-in-her-fingertips street fighter in Gibson's Sprawl books. "'Steppin' Razor. Like unto a whippin' stick ... An' you bring a scourge on Babylon, sister, on its darkest heart....'" Seemed ta fit.

Palintera, Vyprania, Alayda, and Dakoneris, they's names is just names.

Kinnavieve's ma wanted fer ta name her Genevieve, but that were taken, along's with every whacked-out variant ya can imagine. So she changed it a bit.

Maurice be named fer Maurice Chavalier. "Oh, thank heaven, fer leetle girls..."

Phoenicia's name were 'cause Team Ratshag's RL friends were playing on Cenarion Circle again, after being gone from Azeroth fer many months. So it were a rebirth of sorts. That, and she got red hair.

Galertruby? Well, obviously the lad couldn't tell me his real name, so I just hit the "random name" button, and that's what popped up. He seemed ta like it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Is Where Kinnavieve Suffers An Indignity

Kitty went on to extol holy bananas, how they were just like paladins. Tough and unpleasant on the outside, but full of yummy goodness on the inside. That boy ever tries to find out how yummy my goodness is, Ima gonna break his frickin jaw.

Mutter mutter frickin bananas mutter lunatic mutter dwarf hunters mutter mutter got my pride mutter mutter better not mutter HIS banana mutter.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Fuhggin' Right I's Ratshag

And there's reasons them buggers dread me. I's one tough glubberthunker, and you's about to find out fer yerself.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Vyp Totally Got Them Bunnies

It was a long journey to the Stormspire. I am still only in my 62nd season, and in theory have no business crossing the Blades Edge Mountains and negotiating the ruined lands of Netherstorm by myself. But I am a Death Knight, selected by Arthas himself and forged in the war against the Scarlet Crusade. The animals and ogres and strange monsters which sought to interfere with my mission quickly learned that I am not to be trifled with.

I was buying bunnies, and I would not be stopped.

I eventually made it to the outpost of those strange aliens the Ethereals. And there I found the one I had heard of, the exotic pets dealer. And he had some strange creatures, wyrmlings and dragonhawks and cockroaches, but I was only after the brown rabbits, which can be found nowhere else.

One for Feral, and one for Pali. Because they are my friends.