Goals An' Priorities: Armchair Raid Leader Edition

"Ya gots ta have yer goals an' priorites figgered out, boy!" dad always told me. "Otherwise ya ain'ts gonna know if'n where ya got to was where ya wanted!" Then he'd throw his bottle of Uncle Bonechomper's Day Old at me head, fer emphasisizations.

So what does we wants ta do with all our garrison minions, once we's got our twenty or twenty-five? Here's how mean an' the team be playin' it:

Goal Number the One: Minion XP.
Goal Number the Two: Minion XP.
Goal Number the Three: Minion XP.
A purple minion can cover as many bases as a green an' a blue combined. Is like one bein' ables fer ta play second base an' third base at the same time, which be awesomes if'n yer coachin' the Yankees or in the back seat with Yola Skullgrinder. But it takes approximatelies one metric fuhgton of XP fer ta level one bugger up ta epic. So them missions what gives out eight or ten or fifteen thousand XP? Run the crap outta them glubberflubbrers.

Goal Number the Four: Resources.
Now, this one may depends a bit on if'n ya gots a Dwarfenboonker suckin' down yer garrison resources or a lumber mill barfin' 'em up, but in generals resources be good fer ta have. If'n ya gots a minion with the Gathererer trait, be sures ta send her, even if it drops the chance of success. A 50% shot at triple reward is better than a 100% shot at the basic reward. And if it be a multi-minion mission an' ya gots more than one gatherer? Send'em all! The reward bonuses stack!

Goal Number the Five: Minion Gear.
Gotta gear the buggers up fer ta unlock the phatter lewts. But don't be in no hurry fer ta gear everyone up. Pick two - preferablies a couple buggers what has direct counters ta some of the highmaul bosses and gear thems up. That'll be enoughs fer ta unlock things. Fer the rest, keep the gear in yer bags and only hand it out when it will help the odds of a particular mission.

Goal Number the Six: Gear Fer Yerself.
Wait just one cotton pickin' minute there, Ratters, you sez. If'n the whole point of this is fer ta get me gear, whyfuhg am I makin' it me lowest priority?

I so glad you asked. Remembers, we's in fer a long haul. Got a coupla years, give or take, before we's done with Draenor, an' yer gonna be runnin' missions that whole time. Investin' in yer minions first means more gear fer you later on. Them Highmaul missions is onlies gone come one every two weeks or so, so yer gonna want yer odds of success fer ta be as high as possibles when they do. So, a penny saved be worth two in the bush, an' be sure fer ta look before ya saves nine.

Assemble The Minions!

Blizz calls thems "followers", but that sounds way too much like camp followers to me ears, and that ain't they's job. Coulda called them "flying monkeys", "garritroopers", or "flunkeys", but I decided fer ta go with "minions".

Anywho, whatevers ya call'em, they's a new way fer ta kill things an' take they's stuff. Ya gots ta level the buggers up (by sending'em on missions). Then ya gota ta gear'em up (mostlies by buildin' a scrapyard an' sendin' them on missions ta bring back junk, and also by buildin' a dwarfenboonker an' feedin' it work orders). Then, when yer minions is ready, ya can send'em ta Highmaul. This week, Qiana done brought the tankin', with her big bare bear. Goldmane done brought the massive deeps, with him claws an' fangs an' all. An' the Pleasure-Bot 8000 done brought the .... well .... with his .... you know .... mebbe best I leaves that fer yer imaginiationalizings.

Lookie there, is loot.

Inside be a random 655 epic fer yer class an' lootspec - I got me an amulet. Is just as if ya'd gone ta Highmaul yerself. Sorta. Is a slow process - Blizz sez what ya onlies can get one of these raid-level missions every two weeks. Also ain't no guaranties what ya won't get duplicates. Finallies, is no weapons or trinkets.

But, good news is what it only takes a few minutes a day ta send the minions out, then ya can go do yer own thing while they takes care of business. So is can be a helpful way fer ta gear up alts. Also, if'n yer a raider an' has normal mode on farm, the cache starts givin' up heroic level loots. Same if'n yer farmin' heroic, it gives mythic gear.

Is gonna be a very different way fer ta play. I's lookin' forward ta doin' it fer reals next month.