Wattery Bint Still Lobbing Scimitars

Time was, roughlies 75483 buggers a day was jumpin' inta that lake in Northrend, wavin' flowers and beggin' fer swords. Personalies, I think what Tirion Fordring and them other Argent Tourney buggers was all standin' around makin' bets ta see what they could get us ta do next. "Dude, let's pay Ratters 18g fer ta roll around nekkid in oatmeal so's a pretty lady'll give him a sword!" But I digressifies.

Point is, we heroes ain't been around like we used ta, and the Maiden of Drak'Mar done noticed. Apparentlies is been years since anybody done come by, 'til young Jinnik come by the other day. Is happy the Team could brighten up yer day a bit, Maiden!

Is Where There Be Good News Everybody

The Lich King is dead.

And Dalaran? Great googly moogly, things be outta glubbernuggin' control here. We got sailors kissin' nurses. We got Applebough tossin' out fresh fruits ta everybody. We got Frozo the Renowned and Tiffany Cartier riding through the trade district on somebodies mammoth, both drunker'n skunks. We got the Sunreaver Agent and the Silver Covenant Agent high-fivin' and secret-handshakin' and chest-bumpin'. Even Sorrow done cracked a smile.

Ain't heard yet from Vyprania how it all went down, but soon as I gets her report I'll be passin' it on ta you buggers. Til then, I's gonna go pay a visit ta Abra Cadabra - that tasty piece o' humanflesh been expressin' an interest in seein' me wand, and I figger tonight's a good night. So everybody done go has a beer or five on me - is a night fer celebrationizings!

How It Really Went Down

Not-Yet-Dead King: I'm not dead yet.

Living Paladin: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.

Dead King: Well, he will be soon. He's very wounded.

LP: I can't announce victory with him like that. It's against regulations.

N-Y-D K: They used saronite bombs to exploit an in-game mechanic. I think I'll go for a walk.

DK: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?

/hotfix
/72-hour ban
/Not-yet-dead King dies

LP: No king, no king, la la la la la la...

DK: Idiot! There must be a king! Otherwise the restless Scourge will be an even greater threat to this world. Control must be maintained. Otherwise they might go bar-hopping with that hooligan Ratshag and his friends. Go rhino-tipping in the Borean Tundra. Run Freya's panties up the flagpole! There must always be .... a Lich King.

/ominous music

LP: This means I get to be king? Cool!

Dead Paladin: Oh hell no! I got poisoned, I got burned by that big red bitch, Kinnavieve ran of with my shield, I got this really wicked "Flame on!" action here - I should be king!

LP: Dude, you want some ointment or something?

DP: No, just gimme the crown.

LP: Oh, okay

/crown on Dead Paladin's head

DP: Sucker! I mean, uh, go tell them that the Lich King is dead.

LP: All right. Say, do you mind if we do this again, only with more, like, gravitas? I want to Fraps it.

DP: No one may know what was done here today!

LP: Oh, don't worry, it's just for my personal use. Not like it's going to end up on YouTube or anything.

DP: In that case, sure. Not-yet-dead king, you want to take it from the top?

N-Y-D K: Father! Is it.... over?

Is Guess Who

You raiders thought you done finished off Naxxramas last year. Cleared the wings, broke down the doors ta Kel'thingamabob's sanctum, killed the cat, brought it down in flames. Course you thought that was it. But then, so did them buggers what did the same out in the Plaguelands three years ago. Ol' Arthas be a slippery bluggernubber, though, and he went and respawned the whole damn place fer ta cause mischief up yer arses while ya be chargin' inta the Ice Cream Citadel.

Is not to worry though. We few, we happy few, we band of buggers in the Purge got yer backs. Tonight we busted in and told Patches it were time to play. Was only eight of us: Zinzi what Gives Good Resurrection, Tarsius the grumpy Druid, Bash (not, not that one, the other Bash), Rym with his arcane blasts set to Hocus Pocus, Throttle the Tinker, Mr. Hoof (all tan and rested after a few months off), Big Bad Guun, and yers truly. We had on our shiny new epics bought with Emblems of Welfare, and while we'd mostly none of us been there before, we meant business.
Patches is a big fella, but not really any brighter than Mograth the Death Nugget, and me and Big Guun had no troubles standing him up. Took a while fer ta get the healing sorted out, but once it were he went down like so much uncooked maggot-infested meat. Is more ta go, but we's gonna extend that raid lockout thingy 'til Naxx be secured. Again. Fer the third time.

Oh, and by the ways? I's back.

Planning Fer Me Retirement

This here tasty piece of humanflesh be Kinnavieve. Say hello, you buggers.

I been thinking a lots about what's gonna happen when the time comes ta hit the beaches of Northrend. And I finds I ain't that enthused about doing it in me dwarf disguise. Being a shadow priest has been fun, but it ain't gonna be the same. Less Mana! Mana! and naughty touching, more like being a shadow mage. Onlies we won't be creatin' sheeps fer to amusify ourselves, the way them mages do. So I's thinkin I may take off these damn uncomfortable dwarf shoes fer a while, and just go to Borean Tundra as me regular orcish self. Give them Tuskarr wimmens a chance to experience me awesome virility in its purest form.

But Team Ratshag ain't leavin' the Aetherial Circle, nosiree. That's where Kinn here comes in. I's been helping this young pally get some experience under her belt, so in the next month or so she can push hard, get ta Outland, and be ready ta hop a boat to Northrend when the time comes. I's been teachin' her how ta burn down them Scarlet thuggerduppers and takes they's gear, how ta kill undeaders in Darkshire, and how ta find them shops hidden way in the back of Ironforge with the exotic merchandizings. And in return she's been teaching me about them things pallies do, like blessings and judgements and cleaning yer armor and shaving yer legs (and no, we just shaves her legs, not mine. sheesh)

So, poor kid's a little tired today, what with me having dragged her cute butt up and down the Stranglethorn peninsula last night, genociding the wildlifes. But I's expecting pretty soon she'll be doing guest posts here with the rest of the team.

Madness? This Is BLIZZARD!!!!!

Okay, here be the deal. I'm building this bridge, see? Not quite done yet, but we're gonna finish it soon. What I want you to do is, drive across to the other side of the river, then come back and tell me what ya think. K? Go!

dum dee dum dumm ....

So what you think? You fell off the end and got soaked? Well, please remember this is only a beta bridge. We need you to try it out before it's finished. Okay, I understand yer upset, but please try to give me constructive feedback, as if it were a complete bridge. Sir? SIR? Ya gotta calm down. Picture how shiny the second half of the bridge is gonna be, once we gets to it. NOW give me yer feedback.

Okay, I gotta a problem with the way the beta testing is being done. I understand the need to have people run around Dalaran and find that invisible 1000 foot pit in front of the barber shop. I understand the need to make sure that the final boss in an instance don't respawn the second ya kill it and wipe yer party. What I don't understand is why class changes is being thrown into the beta realm willy-nilly.

Some classes, like shadow priests, is getting major overhaulizings what require a lotta nerfing in some areas, and a lotta of buffing in others. And I's okay with that. But wait until ya've figgered out what exactly these changes is gonna be, and then implement them all at once. Then yer testers can give ya feedback on what needs tweeking. But when ya put out changes a few at a time, particularlies ones what break a class' original purpose (can you say mana battery? I bet ya can) and say yer gonna replace it with sumthin' else later, soon as you figger out what the fuhg is gonna be, and how ta implement it, then yer testers ain't testing. They's just driving off the end of an unfinished bridge. And ya pisses folks off, fer no good reason.