Saturday, March 3, 2012

Then And Now: Ratshag

So, in that "Then and Now"post I just did, I had a picture of me as a scrawny little orcling just startin' fer ta make his way out inta the strange an' mysterious world, and a picture of me as I be today, all grizzled and veteranized. But how did I done gets from then ta now? I's so glad you buggers asked. Allow me fer ta show ya with this here summary of the past five years....

Me first pauldrons. Neverminds what they was nuhin' but a coupla fistfuls of feathers, they meant I were gearin' up and goin' places.

The Whirlwind Axe. Meant I were a true warrior. Paladins and shammies no can haz.

Fourtieth season meant no more sore feet fer Ratters. Don't ride ol' Fang too much no mores, but he do got a comfy den down at the stables, with room ta run an' plenty of elf kibbles.

The Truesilver Champion. Was a sword, not an axe, but I made it meself and it were a damn good weapon. Got me through some tight scrapes an' inta Outland.

Got me some Outland gear here. Unfortunatelies, all the thorium were back in places like yeti-infested Winterspring so's I needed fer ta keep comin' back until I got me minin' and smithin' skills up high enough. That were a right pain.

Epic flyin'. Took a lotta minin' fer ta pay fer that, I tells ya - no dailies back in them days. This were also durin' the Great Orc Shoulder Armor Smallification Bug summer. Great googly moogly what a horridosity. I mean, just look at how small they is. Took Blizz months fer ta finally fix it.

The Helm of Evil Laughter. First Edition. Accept no substitutes.

Was a time fer me when just managin' fer ta get 3/5 of a set were a big fuhggin' deal. Yeah, they was blues, not epics, and yeah they dropped in normal-mode dungeons. So hell what? They was set pieces.

The Purge kinda went on hiatus afters we stopped the Time Fuhgger Dragons from interferin's with Medivh openin' the Black Portal an' bringin' in the orcs fer ta help film "Spring Break: Stormwind". So I hadda go find me own funs where I could.

Me first date with Jaina Proudmore. What a night.

The great Outland clown tankin' set. Mothers would cover they's children's eyes when I walked down the street wearin' it. Wimmenz wept an' Blood Elf paladins wet theyselves. Someday I's gonna finish reassemblin' it and unleash the Transmogalypse Prime.

Musta been a helluva party.

Tryin' out a new look.

Rash of the Itch King landed, and I's wearin' new gear. New gear is always good.

Reached me eightieth season, an' decided it were time fer ta setle once an' fer all who were the biggest baddest fluggernudder in Azeroth.

Yay holiday.

Me an' Throttle, all sombreroficated.

No more clown outfits in Northrend. I were a tough-arsed junkerdubber, and me gear showed it.

'Course, I still had me dainty side too.

The Purge done became a bonerfied raidin' guild by the end of the Rash, clearin' Naxx onlies a year-and-a-half afters it were outdated content.

Epicced out. Strange new lands seen. Exotic wimmenz met. Fortune made. It were time fer ta go back ta teh Barrens, buy me that kodo ranch, throw me booterang at me peons, and enjoy the fruits of me labor in a nice, comfortables, quiet retirement.

Then a certain dubberglucker drove a volcano through it.

Back ta the lfe of an adventurer. New gear, new experiences, new ... new .... it's so pretty....

Eighty-fifth season and I's startin' ta get a new set of epics. Tyrande were most excited fer ta see them.

Yay new title.

Raidin' with Black Leather Undies were damn fun, while it lasted. We was the consummate professionals. Prot paladin and prot warrior in front, death knugget with a rollin' pin in back.

And with the comin' of the Transmogalypse, we's caught up to today. And that concludes this here stroll down memory lane. Be sure ta drop yet 3-D glasses in the bins provided as you exitifies.


ZombiePirate said...

Ahhhh, those kaleidoscopic days of Burning Crusade. Sure the gear was like some kind of trip but I still rate back then as the most fun time I had in the game.

Markus said...

They sure don't make armor like back in the BC days. I will always miss my Crystalforge axe...

...and clown suit :)