Monday, June 13, 2011

If Shakespeare Had Worked Fer Blizzard

Rosenpants and Guildenbubba would still be dead glubbernuggers.

Lady Vashj and Garrosh Hellscream woulda hidden they's love from they's feuding factions, with tragic resulifications.

The mats fer a Big Cauldron of Battle would includes "eye of newt", "baboon's blood", and "liver of a blaspheming Jew".

Instead of "kill ten rats", yer quest would be ta "write ten sonnets."

Alexstrasza would be played by a man.


Anonymous said...

Hilarious...and accurate.

Stop said...

"Alexstrasza would be played by a man."

Then we should all be very thankful that Shakespeare didn't work for Blizzard.

Bristal said...

Maybe he could have written a quest:

"To be, or not to be. That is question mark hovering over my head.

"Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, either way, please find 10 rats, and by opposing, end them.

Or he could have written a guide:

"To die—to sleep to gain rested XP, o more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache of leveling and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to: and at once begin the endgame.

"'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die and be battle-rezzed, to sleep and sheep; to sleep, perchance to dream of phat lootz — ay, there's the rub.