Some Mistells Is More Tellin' Than Others

They is nice pants, but I's still gettin' used to the zipper bein' in the back.

Throttle Is Lurking

I can feel his eyes on me.


Or mebbe it's Zinzi.

Wait, Where We Going?

I hates not being prepared. I really does. So I was set fer last night's run at Lady the Skanky Ho Vashj. Had me Flasks of Pure Death, me Super-Duper Wizard Oil fer to keep me shaft greased, me Cajun-style Basilisk Nuggets. And I'd gone back and reviewed what'd gone down last week, so's I could learn and be more effective this time around.

Except, no, wait. Change of plans, due to who's coming and who ain't. Issues with Red-Winged Penguins or sumthin'. Anywho, we's gonna go fer everybody in SSC what ain't Her Fishiness. Bugger. That's three bosses what I ain't never seen before, and I only gots a few hours ta learn about 'em. Quick- read the strats. Watch a couple videos. Do what I cans ta prepare.

No, no, no wait. We ain't a coupla the key duggermunkers what be needed fer some of them SSC bosses. So we're going to Tempest Keep. Right now. Oh, bugger. I don't know nuthin's about these fights. Shoot, I ain't even got the freakin' flight path. Oh wells. Gots to do me best, listen to instructions, keep me eyes open. Don't stand in the flames. All that good stuff.

So. Quick rundown of what I saw:



Miss Solarian, there, she's one of them "easy, but if you don't do the right thing at the right time, you wipe the raid" fights. No pressure or nuthin'. And of course, when the time came fer me to run away, I goes the wrong way and nearly wipes the raid. Realized I'd buggered it when I hear Cay squeaking "Oh, no, no, no, no ..." Fortunatelies, it weren't as bad as it coulda been, it didn't 'cause a wipe, and everyones had a good laugh at me after. Which were fair. But I's gonna have to do some studying on this so's I learn what I should do better next time.

After it were over, some of the loot what turned up were the lady's trousers, which were kinda weird, considerings how she'd done transmogrified inta a voidwalker, what ain't got no legs. But there they was, a small but definite upgrade fer me. So I put in a minimum bid (which were still half of me DKP accumulation), and since nobody else were wanting them I gots. Wewt.

My Precious

So, the other day, I says to meself, "Self, is time you learned ta fish as a dwarf. Yeah, I know, is time-consuming and yer still scrambling ta get yer gear caught up to the levels it needs ta be fer where yer runnin'. Howevers, it will eventually pay fer itself, when ya can do the dailies and catch motes of water and all that."

"Yeah, yer right," I says, so I in between AV battles I goes ta Stormwind and talks to the trainer. And I buys a pole and a shiny bauble. And I starts fishing. And I's caught mebbe twenty fish or so. And then I reels in and there ain't no fish on the line. I curses a bit and prepares to cast again, when I sees something small and shiny caught on the hook. I takes a closer look.

The 1 Ring. And it was mine, all mine. My Precious. I could see my destiny before me. I would use its power to unite the factions, and cast down Sargeras and Arthas and all their minions. And I would rule all of Azeroth and Outland in an era of peace and prosperity and the people would all be my peons, motivated to work through gentle application of the booterang. All would love me and despair!

Eh, bugger that. I trotted me stumpy little dwarf legs over to the auction house, and within a few hours got a 115 gp fer it. Not bad for a fer minutes fishing.

They Got They's Nether in a Twist

Fimlys and Bre been working hard on a interestings project. Is a blogglecasty, er sumthin' like that. I can't be bothered to keep track of the details. Anywho, is called Twisted Nether, and I's finding it to be rather interestings. They talks about news and interviews buggers and other interestings, and ya can downloads it and everythings. So go checks it out, and be sure ta ask about the million dollar giveaway they's got going.

Is Where Palintera Has A Tough Night

Oh. Umm, hi. Uh ... Goddess watch over you. I guess.

You're probably wondering what I'm doing, walking along the Terrace of Light so early in the morning. Well, I really didn't want to go home last night. Wasn't even sure what "home" meant, to be honest. So I've been walking, and thinking, and trying to figure out how I screwed up so bad.

It all started yesterday, when Feral and I were killing Murlocs over on Bloodmyst Isle, when we ran into this hunter named Teej, who was on the same quest chain. And so we did the polite thing and invited her to join us. Which was great, 'cause the three of us were able to really rip through things quickly. And we pretty quickly finished off every job there was to do there and took the boat over to Darkshore to see what we could find in the way of work there.

And it was then that things kinda, well, changed. The two of them started exchanging looks, and telling each other jokes, and it seemed to me like they were flirting with each other. At least, Feral was flirting with Teej. At first, I tried to tell myself it was no big deal. But it sure felt like a big deal to me. I mean, sure, she's pretty and all, but I'm the one whose been with Feral all this time. I thought that meant something. But I felt left out, and not noticed, and not wanted anymore. And so when we got to Astraanar I said "I think you two have everything under control, so I'm just gonna leave you to it." And then I hearthed out of there, as quick as I could.

Once in Shattrath, I wandered down to the World's End Tavern. I'd never gone down to Lower City by myself, before, but I figured I could I handle myself - it's not like I'm a kid anymore. There was some sort of party going on at the WET. You see, there was this ogre named Rulik, and every ten minutes or so some adventurers would come in and demand that he give them the money he owed, well, someone else. And he'd tell them to get lost, only using really bad language. And then they'd attack him and kill him and take his money. And the patrons of the bar would cheer, and after the adventurers had left, someone would resurrect the poor fellow, and someone else would hand him a new bag of gold. And he'd go back to drinking until the next band of adventurers came in. Apparently, there was betting on if the next group would be Horde or Alliance, and other things, and the gold was his cut from the pot. I considered placing a few bets, but I just wasn't in the mood. Although I did take a turn at resurrecting him.

So there I was, sitting at the bar, feeling pretty lonely and dejected and rejected. When the guy next to me offers to buy my next drink. He was polite about it, and I was getting a little low on cash, so I said, "Sure, why not."

Turned out his name was Dovid, and he was travelling from Stormwind on business. And he had the most beautiful, deep brown eyes, and something about him just made me trust him. He was so polite and sympathetic and understanding as I told him about Feral and me, and how good it had been, but now I wasn't sure anymore and- and- and maybe she'd found someone new. Someone more interesting. And now I jus- jus- just know what I was going to do. And he listened, and helped me calm down a bit, then he suggested that being in a tavern wasn't really the best place to really sort things through. But he knew a place where I could go and get some rest and he had some friends there who might be able to help me figure out what I wanted to do next. And I was so grateful for him taking the time to talk to some silly upset girl he'd just met, and being willing to help me out. And so we were just getting ready to leave ...
... when an orc walked into the tavern. A big fellow, a warrior, carrying axes and swords and wearing mismatched but very serious looking armor. And he walked up to the bar next to Dovid and dropped his helm on it with a very heavy thud and a swirl of green, demonic smoke. And I couldn't help it. I just didn't want Mister Shag to see me being all weak and confused, instead of strong and forceful like a member of his team is supposed to be. So I shadowmelded. I didn't know what else to do!

But he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at my new friend. "Hello, Dovid," he said in his deep rumbly voice. "Been hearing stories about you."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Ratshag," he replied.

"Way I hear it, you been working fer that duggerflumpin Broken, Alekko the Pimp. Hear you's been rounding up fresh young faces to put to work in his houses. And I hears what there's some what'd pay to see that operation put down."

"Is that so?" And suddenly there was knife in Dovid's hand, and he plunged it into Mister Shag's stomach, between two plates of his hauberk. I might have shrieked at that, I'm not sure, but Mister Shag just calmly looked down at the hilt protruding out, and then back up at David's face.

"I didn't say there was a price on yer head, yet, ya stoopid bugger. Was gonna gives ya a friendly warning, is all. But since ya wants to play, well..."

He reached for Dovid with his right hand, moving fast. But Dovid was faster and easily dodged out of the way. And then Mister Shag's left hand seized Dovid's throat and pushed him to the ground, completely overpowering him. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to move that fast. Dovid squirmed a bit, but it was clear that the grip holding him was far too strong to break. It was also clear that he couldn't breathe.

"Here's the deal, fubbergunker. You go. Now. I ever see you again, yer gonna haveta deal with the axe. Blink twice if ya understands."

Dovid blinked twice. The armored fist pinning him down let go, and he rolled over, gasping for air. Then he half-crawled, half-stumbled out of the tavern and disappeared into the night.

"Kid, ya wanna do that Healing Touch thing? Ain't good to drink whiskey with an open gut wound."

Oh. Right. I should do that. I unmelded, and cast HT. And again. And again. And again. Goddess, the wound was deep. If it'd been me, I'd've been dead. And then, not knowing what else to do, I sat back on my barstool. He sat down next to me and ordered a bottle of whiskey. I sat quietly, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

Eventually, I couldn't stand the silence any longer. "Thank you, Mister Shag. I would've been in real trouble, I guess, if you hadn't happened to come along."

"Heh. Yeah. Whole lotta trouble. But weren't no coincidization I were here. Feral asked me ta look fer ya."

"She did? Why?"

"She were worried 'bout you. Said you got funny and quiet and then split. She didn't say so, but I got the feelin' she thinks you were mad at her, and she didn't know what fer. And she were feelin' kinda torn up inside."

"Well, yeah, of course I was mad. She was flirting with that Draenei chick, right in front of me. As if I wasn't there!" Feral, feeling torn up? That didn't sound right. I mean, she's the strong one...

"Hmm. There's flirtin' and then there's flirtin'. I don't the girl that well, but I does know she's pretty far off the top of the impulsive scale. And I knows a bit 'bout being impulsive. And what I figgers is, what ya comes back to at the end of the day when the crazy wears off is what be what's really important to ya. And what she's wanting is you. What you wants is yer job ta figger out."

So. He walked me out of there, back up to the Terrace of Light. Once we got there I said I wanted to be alone for a bit and he said yeah sure kid just stay up here away from the scummy lupperglumpers cause he werent rescuing my dainty arse again tonight. So I did. And I thought. And I tried to figure out how I really feel, and what I want to do now, but it's hard. I mean, I'm mad at Feral for flirting with someone else, but I'm also mad at myself for running off like I did. And if that really did hurt Feral, then I feel guilty about it. And I'm really embarrassed about how easily I got duped by that scumbag Dovid. And I want to think I could have taken care of myself in Lower City, but I'm not really sure anymore. And should I go back to Feral and apologize, or insist that she apologize? Or wait for her to come to me? Or just go on and pretend like none of this happened? Because, I really, really wish it had never happened.

And now the sun has come up. And I still don't know what to do.

Melting Faces in AV

So, I ain't done a lot of PvPing as a dworc. 'Cause, well, I had plenty else on me plate. But if I wants ta go to Mount Hyjal I needs me a PvP trinket, preferably the 2-minute one. So off to AV I goes. Well first I stopped at some quartermasters and picked up a few pieces of Satin Battlegear, so's to have some resilience and more health. Then I went to AV.

Holy freak I does a lot of damage. Shadow Word: Pain on every bugger what moves adds up after a bit. Throw in some Mind Blasts and some Mind Flays, and I's near the top of the damage table if I focus on pure O or pure D. Course, lotta times I ends up holding a graveyard or tower until it caps, 'cause it's gotta be done and most other fupperglunkers cain't be bothered, and that downtime cuts inta me total damage. But still, I's rockin' the house. And that be pretty fun. Imagine what I'd be capable of if'n I had serious PvP gear. So after a few days in AV, with some Eye of the Storm thrown in fer variety, I gots me trinket. Rage Winterchill, here I comes.

Oh, and just fer funs, here's a conversation I had with a sunny-side-seeing bugger hanging out at the battlemasters in Shatt yesterday.