Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Ratshag Grades the Sunreaver Dailies

Is been a while now, and I's had some time fer to evaluates them new daily quests what ya gets fer being exalted with the Sunreavers. If yer if the Alliance persuasion, ya gets the same ones from the Silver Covenant, which ta me says the Blood Elves and the High Elves just ain't as different from each other as they'd wants ya ta believe. They's both a buncha prissy snobs with creepy magic brooms what think they's shiite smells purdier than everyone elses. But anywho, back to them dailies.

Breakfast of Champions
Important thing fer ta remember here is, iron dwarves don't like drum music. They's more happy with the sweet dulcets of a harp, or mebbe soom classic-sounding cello. Ya know, like that Yo-Ho-Ho Ma bugger. But drums? They's totally not cool. Oh, and ya gotta kill not-really-but-still-kinda-big worms.

Grade: C+

Gormok Wants His Snobolds
Apparentlies, Gormok the Impaler don't have a problem with being trussed up outside the Tournament building, waiting fer ta be rituallisticly slaughtered by 25 glunkerthubbers with axes and firebolts and bacons of light, all for the amusement of Tirion Fordring. No, he's just pissed 'cause he didn't get ta bring his favorite snobold with him. At first, I were all like, I's catching eight snobolds, but what if none of them's the right one? But if ya stands near Gormok for a bit, ya realizes there ain't nuthin' ta worries about. Is basically:

"Oh! My favorite snobold! I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him and name him George and.... uh oh."

Then there be a pause while he tosses a very smooshed snobold away, and reaches inta the cage fer a new one.

"Oh! My favorite snobold! I will hug him and pet him and name him George..."

Just, ya know, watch yer step when yer walkin' by.

Grade: A-

Rescue at Sea
Buncha seaweed dude pirates is attacking a totally innocent, peace-loving Sunreaver flower children, and they needs you fer ta go rescue. Pretty straightforward. I always brings me water-walking elixirs, so's I can walk away when I's done rescuing and get a bight ta eat and hop on me drake without being disturbified.

One thing ya gots ta watch out for - make sure ya rescues the right ship full of totally innocent, peace-loving elf flower children, or the crew will turn on you soon as the seaweed dudes is under control.

Grade: B

Stop the Aggressors
Kill seaweed dudes. I likes it.

Grade: A

The Light's Mercy

Wait. I's supposed to go do last rites on a buncha dead tuskarrs? The fuhg I look like, a glubbernuggin paladin? If they's dead, it sucks ta be them, but why should I care fer ta read outta some book over they's unlootable bodies? Oh, yeah, 'cause I's gettin' paid to.

Grade: D+

What Do You Feed A Yeti, Anyway?
Now I's just a simple orc what cain't be bothered fer ta keep track of the details, but I's pretty sure what when Roy Scheider were trying ta chum hisself up a shark in Jaws, he did it from inside the boat. That ain't how the elf fishermens want ya to do it, though - they wants you in the water, where there's sharks and some really lost seaweed dudes swimmin' around. Pretty sure they's laughings at us splashin' around out there. I wouldn't mind, except sometimes it be a damn fuhggin' pain in the arse fer ta gets back in the boat ta get more chum.

Grade: B

You've Really Done It This Time, Kul
Kul the Reckless. A paladin from the Corki school of adventuring. Every day, he takes a buncha rookies out against the Cult of the Damned, Only ta get hisself captured and locked in a cage while they prepares fer ta turn him inta zombiechow or somesuch. I expects we'll see him again in Icecrown Citadel, locked in a cage while the abominations argue over who gets ta play "Hide the Dwarf" first.

Grade: C-


Khol Drake said...

Wow...I threw up in my mouth a little bit with the "Hide the Dwarf" thing...

Grimmtooth said...

Grade: A-

Would have been a full "A" but needed more Dorf jokes. Everybody loves dorf jokes.

Kayeri said...

I SO need to level my hordee... she's languished at 40 for far too long... :)

and Ratters, I hears ya... blue eyes, green eyes, who cares?? they's all them elfs from Quel'thalas, right?? :) But them blue-eyed types cant stand them green-eyed types and vica versa...

Sheesh... Well, as long as they pay us, huh? :)

Avaric said...

Make sure you take extra chum with you into the water, they're not unique so you can carry more than one. I go in with four, just in case I get one of those really lost seaweed guys instead of a shark.

Kestrel said...

"A paladin from the Corki school of adventuring." I commented to my friend the other day that Kul is dumber than Corki.

Anonymous said...

I think 'Breakfast of Champions' deserves an upgrade from a C+ to at least a B- because of the name. In, err, my neck of the woods it the term used by ladies who enjoy the pleasures of other ladies to describe the oral dimension of the carnal act.

Obviously as a priest, I know nothing about this.


Anonymous said...

i used to be? hardcore in wow. but you guys actually farm them yourself?
you should check out