Is all Done

Gonna take a bit of a break now & rechargify me brain.

Oh, Bugger, I's It

Girl Meets WoW done gone and tagged me. Fine. Five lessons what I learned from me adventures.

1. Black Rock Spire can be hard to get to.

2. If you kill the last boss, make sure ya loot him before hearthing out.

3. The best place to level up fishing is in the capital cities. That ways you can make sarcastic comments on the trade channel to relive the boredomification.

4. There ain't no better feeling than one-shotting an instance with yer friends.

5. It Is Not A Race!

6. The Helm of Evil Laughter is the coolest piece of loot in the whole friggin universe.

7. It is a good idea to learn First Aid when you first start out, rather than waiting to yer 35th season and then having to go buy a bunch of linen and wool.

8. No matter how drunk you are, Silvanas Windrunner will not agree to go on a date with you.

9. A good healer is worth her weight in khorium.

10. The Ogri'la wimmenfolk is a whole lotta fun, but the quartermaster is a real fuggernumper.

11. Fel Reavers suck.

Okay, so that's eleven, which be more than five. Bite me. (No, you gotta do it harder than that - orcs got thick hides.)

Paying Me Respects

Paying me respects to Nova, a hero what didn't make it. Sometimes being one of the best still ain't good enough.








Got nuthin' more to say.

Lunacy, with Intent

A whiles back, we was in the Mechanar, and the Plasma Rat's Hyper-Scythe dropped. "Ooh. Warrior weapon. Major dps. Grats, Ratter."
"I pass." says me.
"What? You don't want it? What the hey?"
"I's the wrong spec. I can't use two-handers efficiently anymore. Go ahead and DE it, Zinzi."
"But Rats," says Zin, "It's even got your name on it ..."
"Don't want it. Shard the bugger."
It was the right thing to do. But that don't mean I didn't cry meself to sleep that night.

Here the deal. I's protection specced. Means I's a tough-ass bugger, I know all sorts of tricks for looking threatening, and I've been trained to swing a one-hander, like me Planar Edge, with devastating effectivenessity. Can rip the other bugger's armor to shreds while I's at it, too. Very satisfying. So when I's just out killing things 'cause the need to die, I usually pack a dagger in me off-hand for a little extra kick.

Now, a two-hand weapon lays down some monstrous pain, if you can use it right. But you gotta been trained to use it proper. Mortal strikes and sweeping strikes and extra crits and all then good things. Me, all I can do with a two-hander is go swing ... ... ... swing ... ... ... swing. So, they ain't my thing and so I passed when the Hyper-Scythe dropped. Even though it were bodacious and it had me name on it. But the Lunar Crescent now. It's the baddest of the bad for two-handers. 109.6 dps, plus crits and attack power out the wazoo. Herk, over at Arms And Fury, forged hisself a Lunar Crescent, and calls it "super fun". Maybes that would potent enough even for a prot warrior like me.

So I bought me some primal might on the AH (100g or so a pop - ow, ow, ow, ow!) and I farmed me some primal air. Saved up all the eternium that were tucked away in adamantite deposits. And then I popped over the the Shattrath forge and started hammering way.

So here it is. And man, do it look righteous. I took it out to the Bone Wastes to get some feedback from the cultists there. They's experts at becoming dead. Well, what they told me was, yeah, it hit like a truck, but it weren't enough to keep up with all the special attacks I could do with a pair of one-handers. Bugger. So, I put it in the bank, next to me Whirlwind Axe and me Truesilver Champion and me Honed Voidaxe. Maybes someday I'll respec and I'll be able to put it to good use.

And by the ways, this were Goal and Priority Number the Two. For those of you what be keeping score.

Sorry Fellas, I's off the Market

The other day I's at the Skyguard base outside Ogri'la, pickin' up another rope to wrangle rays with (careless Skyguard, keep losin' the ones I bring'em), when I feels the love. Who is U____? I wonders the same thing, so I turns around to see. Turns out it's Mr. U____, a Nelf druid. Who is this bugger, and why does he love me? I wonders to meself. Not sure how to respond, since I don't speak degenerate languages like Nelfish, I falls back on an old standby. Bwahahahahahaha! goes the Helm of Evil Laughter. At this, U____ salutes, I wave back, still befuddlized, and then we goes our separate ways.

So what did it all mean? I figures there be three possibilities:

Possibility the First: U____ is a fan of me blog, and recognized me. In which case, coolness! Welcome U____, and thanks for reading. Feels free to drop a comment so I'll know who the freak you is next time.

Possibility the Second: Someone got all excited by the Helm of Evil Laughter. It is, after all, the coolest piece of loot to drop in all Azeroth and Outland. Way cooler than this. And it's gotten people excitified befores.

Possibility the Third: U____ got hisself all swept up by me amazing virility and studliness, and just had to proclaim his love for me. Understandable, and I ain't threatened by it or nuthins, but it ain't gonna work. I just ain't that kinda orc. But bests of luck to ya, U____, finding yerself that special warrior.

Okay, it's also possible he just thought I was someone else. But I finds that one hard to swallow.

It's Me Birthday!

Check out this strapping young fellow, you buggers.

It were one year ago today that I picked up an axe, walked over to Kaltunk, and announced "I wish to be a Hero! Tell me what I must do."

And he said "Buggered if I know. Maybes you could do somethings about all these pigs what been diggin' in the vegetable garden."

And the rest be history.

Gonna go bake a Delicious Chocolate Cake. Anybody want some?

Branching Out

So I's sittin' in the World's End Tavern in Shattrath with me friend Hydrargyrum. We's just hanging out, quaffing ale and trying to outdoes each other with fishing stories. I'll admits it, she had me beat with the one about haulin' The Lurker Below outta a hole in the ice in one of the lakes in Dun Morogh.

After a bit she says to me "Rats, I gotta favor to ask of you. We got this bright young prospect of a warrior for this Warsong Gulch clan I help out with, but he needs an RL sponsor and all me friends are full up. Now, I know you're a Hordie and all, but would you be willing to consider it?"

Now, I knows what yer thinking. Horde vs. Alliance. Warcraft. Eternal Struggle. Death to the enemy. No mercy. Be ruthless. And all that. Here's me response. Warsong Gulch ain't some epic struggle for the fate of the universe, it's a trade dispute. And the Warsong Outriders ain't really part of the Horde. Plus, I've always thought they was a buncha ninnies.

So I says to her, "Yeah, maybe. Tell me about him."

"Okay, he's a Night Elf. Name's Dakoneris. His hair's kind of a mess, and his ears do that annoying boingy-boingy thing when he runs, but it doesn't really matter since I'm a gnome and can't see that high up anyway. He's got great legs, though, and his ass *giggle* is sooo cute. I mean, *blush* I could just ... But that's not really what you are asking about, is it?"

I shakes me head slowly, all patient-like. Gotta be patient with them bouncy gnomes.

"All right. He's a warrior, like you, but only in his tenth season. Not as strong as you, of course, but a little quicker maybe. And since he's an elf, he can do that whole shadowmeld-charge-the-unsuspecting ambush thing, which is uber-cool. He doesn't have a pot to piss in yet, but that's what twinking is for."

"About that," I says. "How can I twink him if he's Alliance, and on your server to boot?"

"Oh, don't worry - I'll take care of it. Hee-hee. I'm gonna run his sexy little butt through low level dungeons till his eyes bleed."

Some might consider this to be all metaphorical and whatnot, but I knows Hydra. She is an almost evil warlock. I pity the poor young night elf. On the other hand, just 'cause the Outriders is ninnies don't mean things gotta be easy for they's opponents neither.

So I agrees to be this young elf's RL sponsor. We shall see how this thing shakes out, now, won't we? No matter what, I expect Hydra's gonna have her some fun.