Is No Pressure Or Nuthin

Is Where Palintera Discovers She Has A Reputation

Hello!

I spent my first day as a member of the Sidhe Devils (which I have heard is pronounced She Devils). I met several of my guildmates, all of whom were quite friendly. Ms Shadow was kind enough to provide me with some pocket money, most of which I'm going to set aside for a rainy day, but I did by myself some new leather gloves and a nice staff. I was hoping to find some pants which didn't still have a lingering furblog smell to them, but there were none available on the Auction House. Sad druid. Oh, and I got myself some new bags, because the standard-issue adventurer's backpack just fills up so fast. And then I went to the guild provisioner's shop and picked up a tabard. I like the design - very professional looking, I think. And then, just out of curiosity, I looked up my records in the guild registry. Oh, look, there I am! Level 10 druid, that's me! Rank: Cub fits with our guild's bear theme, and -Ah! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Umm. Hmmm. What am I going to do about this? I don't want my guild to think I'm unreliable. No more alcohol. Nope. Jumping on the wagon, is Palintera. Gonna be stone cold sober for the rest... well, phooey. That's not going to be any fun. Moderation. That's it. I hereby resolve to drink only In Moderation. But I don't want to be too rigid, though. So, when appropriate, I shall moderate my moderation. Yup. That'll work. That's what Mister Shag would want me to do.

*bounces a couple of times*

I am so glad my mother doesn't know about this...

Oh, Now This Just Looks Fuhggin Silly

The Tinkerbell wand were bad enough, but great googly moogly! Look at me new helmet! Is Ratshag, the bearded puppy! Blech.

When I wore the warrior version of this on me first climb through Outland, it looked fierce. It looked cunning. It looked dangerous.

This just looks goofy. /sigh

Time to invisify another helm...

Is A Quick Shadow Priesty Question

Shhh. Talk soft. Me GM is watching me, and I can't let him know I's asking you buggers this. Don't want him to realize I's a newb with this priesty stuff. See, he says he owns me soul now, even though it be dirty and kinda sticky, and I don't want him ta go "Pffft! Not worth it" and chuck it out the window. So I's asking all quiet and discreet-like. Ya with me? Good.

Okay, so. Me question. Do shadow priests have any kind of AoE attack? 'Cause, I know them goody-goody holy types has this, but I can't do that. So, does I have something comparable and I's just too much the simple orc to find it in me spellbook? Or when I's got a swarm of buggies does I just need to burn'em down one at a time?

So, thanks fer helping me out here. And whatevers ya does, don't tell Fio!

Guest Blogger: Palintera the Drood

Greetings. My name is Palintera, and I am the newest member of Team Ratshag. May the Goddess watch over you.

Last week I received a message from Mister Shag, informing me that my probationary period was complete and that I was now a full member of the team. Elune be praised! No longer would I have to live in fear of being DELETEd, as had befallen so many of my brothers and sisters. I could continue on my journey toward EndGame with confidence now.

That night Mister Shag hosted a party for team members to welcome me. I was a little nervous as I knocked on the door of his apartment in Shattrath; I felt rather plain and awkward wearing patched leather I had taken off of a furblog and holding the only gift I could afford - a bowl of fragrant herbs. I knew some of the others had been with him almost since the beginning, and would have acquired much nicer and more appropriate items. However, as the team's only druid I was determined to be pleasant and cheerful and not look for a dark corner to hide in.

It turned out I was being worried over nothing. As soon as I walked in, my new teammates made me feel welcome and completely at ease. At no point did I feel like anyone was looking down on me (well, I'm taller than most of them, but I'm sure you know what I mean). It was a cheerful, somewhat raucous party - much like Mister Shag himself - and I soon felt completely at home.

"Helllooo....." said a raspy voice. "Would you like a cookie? I baked them mysself."

I looked down to see a young Forsaken woman holding up a plate of what looked like butterball nut cookies. I was a little leary, since the girl looked (and smelled) like she'd been lying dead in a ditch for several weeks, and I was very unsure of her ability to judge what tasted good anymore. Her lack of eyes was particularly creepy. But I did not wish to seem rude, so I took one and cautiously nibbled. Mmmmm! It was delicious. I quickly took a much larger bite, and then told her so.

"I know," she said. "I got the recipe from an egotistical priest." I had no idea what to make of that, so I just nodded. "I'll be setting them over there. Help yoursself if you want more."

"Thank you," I said.

"Embrace the shadow, Palintera," was her rather cryptic reply.

Later in the evening, a pretty blonde (and rather inebriated) blood elf was kneeling on the sofa next to me, chattering away and working my hair into a series of small, tight braids, cheerful and amiable as if we were long-lost friends. I wasn't saying much, just content to listen to her pleasant voice chatter away, when out of the blue she said "I like you so much, Pali! It's like you're my sister. When the time comes to drain your soul into a crystal, I'm going to place it on the shelf I have for only my very favorite posessions!"

I turned to stare at her, my eyes very wide. She giggled, and then, ever so slowly and gracefully, she leaned sideways and slid to the floor, where she lay with one arm reaching up. "Minion!" she cried. "Assist me! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!" A big shadow elemental mumbled "Send me back..." in a tone of utmost despair and anguish, but it did drift over and hand her her glass.

A minute later Mister Shag walked over and clapped me on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Palintera. Ellspeth says that to everybody what joins the team. But she ain't done it yet, has ya, Ellspeth?" he asked the horizontal elf.

"Yet ain't over, Ratter!" she replied, and giggled some more.

Later, Mister Shag brought over a rather dirty-looking bottle, with a label sloppily pasted on which said Uncle Bonechompers Day-Old Piss. "Is the good stuff fer ya, kid," He said. "Just like we get back in Durotar. Enjoys!" I looked at the bottle with no small degree of trepidation, but I was not going to risk disappointing my boss, and I'd had enough to drink already that I was feeling rather bold and adventurous. So, silently whispering a quick prayer to Elune, I picked up the bottle, pulled the cork out with my teeth, spat it out, and took a long pull. There was a general cheering from around the room, so I figured I had made the right move.

Unfortunately, I must confess that much of the rest of the evening is rather a blur. I do remember at one point that I was sitting in the lap of a rather handesome young Night Elf warrior and stroking his ears (or maybe I was nibbling on them - I'm really not clear on that) when Mister Shag called out, "Hey Dak! Watch out fer Sudden Bear On Top syndrome!" which caused everyone in the room to laugh.

"No worries, Rats!" my companion replied. "I brought protection!" and everyone laughed even louder.

I, however, was completely confused, and it must have shown on my face, because the ghost wolf which had been chewing on a bone in the corner got up and turned into a tall blue-haired troll woman. She walked over to me, leaned in close, and explained. Oh. Oh! Oh my! I'm sure I must have turned seven shades of purple at that, but fortunately things get pretty blurry again after that ...

The next morning I awoke with my head feeling as though two Grells were beating on it with staffs, and my mouth tasting like an incontinent creature of the night had relieved itself therein. I would have much preferred to remain unconscious, but Mister Shag had just thrown a bucket of cold water in my face and the option was not available to me.

"Rise and shine, kiddo," he said. "Got some nice folks fer ya to meet."

He took me down the street to a small but pleasant-looking adventuring guild shop, with the name Sidhe Devils on a shingle outside the door. Inside were two well-seasoned adventurers, another druid and a human rogue. He introduced them as Windshadow and Cassieann, "although fer reasons I's never understood, they also goes by Mr. and Mrs. BBBBB. Or BBBBBB. Sumthin' like that. You know I can't be bothered ta remember the details."

Windshadow grinned. "Yes, Rats, we know."

Mister Shag explained that, as an experienced druid, Windshadow would be able to give me useful advice as I worked my way through the world. Plus, she "were dang pleasant folk." They exchanged a few more pleasantries, then he took his leave. Ms. Shadow showed me were I could store my few meager belongings, and then we talked a bit about specs. She told me that, even though I wanted to be a healer, that I would hate myself if I put my points into the Resto tree while leveling. "Feral is the only sane way to go," she said. She also told me that, if I kept my nose to the grindstone and got to my fifteenth season, that she might reward me and and some of the other new guildies with a naked Deadmines run. I am beginning to suspect that Mister Shag has left me with someone who shares his low sense of humor...

So that is my story so far. Thank you for listening, and to Mister Shag for giving me the opportunity. Elune bless you.

Pfft. Bugger Don't Know Me Too Well

"Return to Feralfen Village and discreetly gather some of their idols so that I may study them. Try to avoid angering them, Ratshag, as it may hurt our chances of making contact with them."

I swears, he actually said that to me. Wants me to go take they's holy idols, but don't be rude or unpleasant while I does it. Probably expected me to say "thankee" and wipes me feet. Great googly moogly. Keep in mind, at the same time the Treehuggers is paying me ta kills the Umbrafens and the Kurenai is paying me to done extermify the Daggerfens.

I's a warrior. Even more so, I's a orc warrior. I don't do "discreet", expecially now that I gots these fun Shadow Priesty toys like face melting and Bang! You dead! I walked inta that village and executed every last lubbertunking broken mutant draenaninny I could find. And then I tooks the holy idols.

His excellency Anchorhead Ahuuuurn is welcome to go make contact now, assumings he can find anybody to talk to...

Is a Buncha Pictures and Stories

First offs, this here be Sabiba, me new arena teammate. Ain't she a tasty piece of elfflesh. Say hello, you buggers.
From the cold, uncaring viewpoint of dry unadorned win-loss record, we didn't do so great on our first week together. Especially since two of our wins were against this woman here. But so whats? It were spontaneous, we had some fun, nobody got hurt too bad, and I learned some stuff what'll help me do better next time around.


Sabiba also done hooked me up with a new guild. Is small, but bigger'n me old one was back when it were in business, and the folks has been real nice to me. This morning we was planning to stick our toes in the waters what be Kara fer the first time. Unfortunately there were some last-minute schedule issues what came up, and the raid weren't able to come off. But sooner or later we's gonna have us a date with Kara. And she'll order the lobster, and the waiter's gonna probably get the order wrong, and someone'll drop a tray of dishes real loud-like in the back they way they do sometimes, and I don't know where the fuhg I's going with this metaphor...
Anywho. Raid on Karazhan. Didn't happen this week, but I's hopeful it will soon, and I's gonna have me some fun when it do.



Has anyone notices what Skyguard Khatie done got herself a flying mount? Now ya don't haveta worries about steppin' on her when ya bring in her five aether rays. But of course most of you buggers is too busy off Sunwelling nowadays to pay poor Khatie a visit ain't ya. "I miss you" she says. Well, old Ratter ain't too busy to gets her some rays, and ta show her appreciations, not only did she pay me the usual 11.99 gold and fifteen shards, she done took me fer a spin on her new mount and initiated me inta what she called the "fifty-meter high club."



For a while, I helped out a young, randomly coherent druid trying to find raptors and pirates ta kill in the Barrens, which were funs. Is relaxing to hit funkertuppers so hards they leaves nuthin' but a smear reaching halfway to the next zone, ya know?



Well, Kara didn't work out but there's still work to be done fer a band of adventurers willing to lay it on the line. Fer examples, them evil time-manipulating dragons, what be different colored from the good time-manipulating dragons, is still trying to mess up the timeline to prevent Thrall from forming the new and improved Horde and losing his virginity in Tarren Mill. So me and some of me new guildies got together and went and saved history and whatnot. And Bell? Yer right, he's a total n00b. Face pulls, totally ignoring the kill sequence, crappy gear. But we managed to pull it off in spite of hisself.
'Course to do all this we had to disguisify usselves as pasty-skinned humans. Since I weren't tanking but was just supplying extra dps fer this run, I wore me "kill things fast" gear, which worked fine. But great googly moogly. Normally I looks like a deadly killing machine. But as a human, I just look like a uptight, psychotic scarecrow. Fuhggit.



After that we was all full of piss and vinegar and figured we give heroic ramps a shot. Pffft. Five minutes in, we had six adventurer skeletons and three dead fel orcs lying just inside the entrance. Okay, maybe we need to gear up some more before we try this.

Well, where's a good place to gear up young adventurers? How about MrT? We swapped out our tankadin fer a blasty shammy, and I switched into me tanking gear, fer the first time since .... bugger. Fer the first time since last November. Do you like me goggles? Made'em meself. Engineering pride, baby!

So anyway, we cleared to the first boss. I hasta admit, I were a little rusty and mistakish, and really buggered it up at one point. But these was cool lads I were running with, and we all just laughed a bit and dusted ourselves off and moved on. Were about enjoying the experience, and then that's how I likes to roll, ya know? Well, like I said, we got to Mister Selin "I has pretty crystals" Fireheart when the shammy says "excuse me, I be right back." Except she didn't. Huh. We's puzzled, and hopefuls what nothing serious done happened. But after a while things was clearly not going forward, so we hadda bail and went and did a buncha dailies togehter. Some of them goes a lot faster with four buggers all hitting'em at once, I tells ya.

Anywho, that's what I's been up to lately. What's up with you?