Shadowform

No reasons fer this pic, other than what it looks pretty cool.

Being Sociables in the Hinterlands

This tasty piece of Elfflesh be ... um ... Alianna? Ayalla? Analynda? Fuhggit. I can't be bothered to remember the details. Anywho, say hello, you buggers.

She's one them High Elfs, which be differents from Blood Elfs in that they'd rather be at the bottom of the Alliance totem pole than make deals with nagas and demons and torture creatures of pure goodness and light and live in cities with creepy magic brooms. Whatevers.

There's this Helf base in the Hinterlands, but they ain't doing so hot. Apparentlies last spring some orc warrior with a huge flaming sword busted into they's compound, killing a buncha them, burning up they's secret records, and watching some of they's videos without rewinding afters. And even though they's part of the Alliance, they don't get very many visitors for to bring'em news or buy stuff or keep lonely Helf wimmen warm on a cold Hinterland night. I told'em they needed to order some of them big yellow exclamation points what float over yer head from that shop in Stormwind. Then they should offer to pay adventurers like me to kill stuff fer them. Like maybe those gryphons what be flapping around in the area, since the Wildhammer dwarves won't pay ya to. That'd bring in a lot more visitors. They said they were intrigued by me suggestion and would look inta it.

Welcomes Back to the Cheerful Blasted Lands

Where the locals is still doing they's best to make newcomers feel real fuhggin' welcome.

Friday Night Drunken Singings

Ratshag:
I'm a wheel, I'm a wheel
I can roll, I can feel
And you can't stop me turnin'!

'Cause I'm the sun, I'm the sun
I can move, I can run,
But you'll never stop me burning!

Come down with fire
Lift my spirit higher
Someone's screaming my name
Come and make me holy again!

Ellspeth:
Little bunny Froo-froo
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
and BOPPING them on the head!

Hee-hee.
*thud*
Oopsie!

Ratshag (in dwarf disguise):
Oooooooh
I loves ta go swimmin'
With bow-legged wimmen
And swim between they's legs!
Swim between they's legs!
Swim between they's legs!

DangerMouse:
Hey Tom it's Mouse from the village down the hill
Good to ssee you buddy, How you've been?
Things have been okay for me except that I'm a zombie now
Really wish you'll let ussh in
I think I speak for all of us
When I say I undershtand
Why you folksh might hessitate to submit to our demands
But here'sss an FYI, You're all gonna die sshcreaming

All we wanna do iss eat your brains
We're not unreassonable
I mean no one's gonna eat your eyesh
All we wanna do is eat your brainss
We're at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromishe
You open up the door
We'll all go insside and eat your brainssh

Dakoneris:
... tuneless humming ...
Are you going to the Darkmoon Faire?
Parsley, sage, some herb, and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a something of mine
...tuneless humming...
...more tuneless humming...

Alayda (in ghost wolf form):
Ahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Galertruby:
Glahgl ahg gahlah lhaghalha
Gahlgla gahahlgha allagha gahl ...hic!
Laghlha aghla galhaghal hagaha
Aghahl glhaha glha agllahlha ...hic!

Everybody in Arenas! Arenas!

Higher rating don't mean you's got a larger p****!

(is thanks to Nymh fer that line)

Me friend Sabiba has done invited me to join her 2v2 Arena team. Team's also got a holy pally, what I ain't met yet. I figgers like everybody else what starts playing in the arena leagues there's gonna be a lots of learning fer me to do, but that's good. I likes learning new stuffs, and I's planning to have fun. Worst case, Sabiba sez to me "Ratter, you's an amazingly handsome and attractive piece of orcflesh, but yer a total scrub at arena fighting" and kicks me off again. But I figgers that ain't too likely (the kicking part, not the amazingly attractive part).

I'd already respecced meself to 31/30/0, since I were pretty much PvPing full-time anyway, plus the occasional daily. And I got me Lunar Crescent outta the bank and found an enchanter ta slap Savagery on it. Is cool-looking, what with netherblood dripping off of it and whatnot. Is not a great PvP axe, since it ain't got no +STA or Resilience, but it do lay down some serious pain and I'll be swinging it until I can save enough honor points to pick up a Gladiator's Decapitator or somethings.

Hopings to throw down and party tomorrow night. Looking forward to it.

Need to Polish Me Hooves

Over a year ago, when I were still whacking quillboars in the Barrens, a bunch of young blood elves joined me guild. I suggested that maybe I oughts ta slow down me leveling and let them catch up. Well, that produced indignations. They's gonna catch me just fine. One young warlock said "You best get those hoofs polished and greased you are indeed being chased!"

Hooves? Hooves??? I politely reminded her I was an orc, not a tauren.

"ok, polish whatever needs polishing and grease whatever needs greased"

Um, yeah. Whatevers. Well, she never did catch me, but we ended being good friends anyhows. Flash forward to this just past weekend. I's got me dwarf disguise on, felling all refreshed after me date with Jaina, and one of me guildies starts talkin' trash at me. She's just gotten to Outland, and wants to know why the hey I ain't caught up to her so's we can go Fel Reaver tipping together. Is me hat slipping down over me eyes? Is I tripping on the hem of me dress? (Well, to be honest, this running about in a dress is pretty awkward and I does trip on the hem occasionally. But that's beside the point.) Why I so slloooowwwwww??????

So, here's the deal (as defined entirely by her): She's gonna go rest her caboose in an inn fer approximately one billion days. At which point I'd better have caught up. Or else. As of today I's at level 43, and I has 999,999,999 days, give or take, to get to 58. Or 60. Or whichever.

'Scuse me. I's gonna go polish me hooves.

Me Date with Jaina Proudmoore

I's been questing in Dustwallow Marsh latelies, operating out of that Human city, Thereamore. Means "New Lordaeron in the Putrid Swamp". Is good work, killing murlocs and Defias buggers and soldiers what done deserted. I likes establishing law-and-order.

Anywho, while I's there I get this summons to come meet Ms. Jaina Proudmore. She's the top muckity-muck human; pretty much anywheres, not just in Swamp City. She wants to thank me fer all the hard work and slaughterfications I been up to. So I's there, all dwarfed up, and some flunky reads off a list of me deeds and it's all polite and civil. Then she leans in close and whispers "I am a Mage of the Tenth Circle of Kirin Tor. Do you think your pathetic disguise can fool me, orc?"

Oh, crap. I figures I's gonna need to fight me way outta this tower, and I don't like me odds. Not against a level skull world boss, with no backup or nuthin'. Then she smiles and stands up straight and shakes me hand, like none of it had happened. Okay. But then I realizes she's got a folded-up piece of paper she's passing me. But none of her flunkeys can see. Is like being back in school, passing notes with Utta Spleenchewer. I slips it into me pocket and we goes on.

Once I's outta there I pull her note out and unfolds it. "Meet me at the Inn in Ratchet next Friday night. Wear something kinky." Kinky, huh. This from the woman what used to date Kael'thas. Her idea of kinky could be, well, pretty much anything.

So Friday night comes along, and I put on me new chapeau and splash on some of the musky goodness from a bottle of troll sweat. Since it be a date, I picks up some red roses. Then I catches a wyvern to Ratchet and ambles over to the inn. The innkeeper, he just nods at me and sez "Room Five. Go on up." So I does.

And there's Jaina, wearing a Bad Mojo mask, a Virtuous Skirt, and nuthings in between. Great googly moogly. We procedes to have ourselves one helluva good time. There was La Macarena dancing and polymorphing and battle shouts and conjured champaigne and victory rushes and flamestriking. At one point she yelled out "oh sweet Elune, Thrall! Yes! Yes!" but it didn't bother me nones. After all, I sure preferred her being in bed with me and calling out his name to her being in bed with the Warchief and calling out me name. Well, actually, we was sorta halfway in the closet at that point, but you knows what I mean.

Next morning she were gone when I woke up, but I understoods. After all, she had a nation to run and everything. And me, it were time to put me dwarf costume back on and see what that crazy hermit Tabetha wanted.