There's bunches of blogs out there what be full of good advice. I could be like that, and talk about what I've learned about hows to be a truly kick-ass righteous tanking warrior. By why da fuhg should I bother? There's lots what is already doing it for me. You buggers should go read'em. Two I suggest is
Da Positives Warrior by Brigin the Dwarf and
Tank Hard! by I ain't sure who. And there's more. Go find'em and lemme know. And then it's real smart to know what yer healer is doing. Without dem you's just spam in a can. (I still misses
Bashaen, me first healer, who tragically got eaten by a furblog named Elyod. *sniff* She were so young ... ) Anywho, some good expainers of dat healin' business is
Musings of a Holy Hybrid by Squeekie Priesty,
Da Egoticalistic Priest by Ego, and
Priestly Endeavors by Kirk. Kirk, my man, you needs a nickname. Go reads these too, and find some more while you at it.
So ya sees there's a lot of blogs out there wit' da good info. Howevers, even so ain't nobody explainin' something near and dear to me heart. And that be the Grand Sport of Noggenfogger Roulette. Tell us, Ratshag, what is this Grand Sport of which you speak?
I so glad you asks.
Remember way back when you was in Tanaris you helped did a job for a goofy goblin name of
Marin Noggenfogger? Sure ya did. He suckers everyone inta helping him. And fer a reward, he gave you some of his Noggenfogger Elixir (patent pending). It's probably still sitting in yer bank vault. Go get it.
Now, when you drink da noggenfogger, it does stuff to ya. It can turns ya into a skeleton, like this:
Amusing, but not good fer much.
Another it can do is ta shrinkify you, like this:
Note how I be's waist-high to a blood elf chick. There can be rewards to this, under the right circumstances. Dwarfettes really go for this too.
But we is talking about Noggenfogger Roulette. Here's da rules:
1) Everybody bids a useless uncommon item. You know, enchanting mats disguised as armor and weapons.
2) Take off yer armor and weapons so's they won't get damaged. Now, you can do this starkers if that be yer style, but I find that things just flap way too much in da breeze, so I prefers to wear me tuxedo.
3) Ya gets on your flying mounts and go up to a good hight. If yer in Shattrath, the Aldor rise be a good reference.
4) On da signal, everybody dismounts. Yeah, dat's right, mid-air like. Down you drops.
5) Real quick, ya pops open a bottle of the elixir and chugs it down. As demonstrated by yours truly:
Now, at this point, one of three things is a gonna happen. You poof into a skeleton and have a couple seconds to wave at yer friends before ya go crunch into a bajillion bone fragments. You may shrinkify and have a couple seconds to wave at yer friends before ya make a rather small splat.
Or you may gets the feather-falling buff and then you gets to watch yer friends go crunch and splat while you gently floats to da ground. This is called winning.
6) Those what didn't go splat and crunch gets to divvy up the items what was bid, way back in step 1.
Now a couple things to remember.
No cheating! No parachute cloaks, bear bombs, levitation spells, or none of dat fuggery.
Do not start from too high up! Feather fall buff only lasts 10 seconds. If it wears off too soon, you's got a problem.
So, now you knows how to play. So, go have some funs!
I almost forgots. If you ain't got any noggenfogger elixir, you can always go backs to Gadgetzan and buy more from that bugger Marin. Tell him Ratter sent ya.
There we all is, hanging out while we waits fer the start. I'm the short one.
"Let's get this show on the road!"
And we's off. Listen to the thunder of lots and lots of tiny feet.
The more experienced racers were eager to share they's words of wisdom.
"I like livin dangerous"
Wolves attacking? "INCONCEIVABLE!"
For a bits we had a belf rogue in the midst, picking off any gnomes what had flagged theyselves.
Through the pass to Loch Modan! I's made it this far okay.
Lots and lots of cute little gnaked gnomies.
We all leveled up about the same point, just as we got down outta the pass into the Wetlands. It were like watching a fireworks show or sumthins.
Despites our new second season uber-ness, them Wetlands were a killing field.
I's startin' ta feel oozy.
Bugger, I's dead, and me corpse be way back there. Run, run, run. Hey lookies! It's me racing partner! Hows come she didn't get deadified?
Another casualty. I'd been keeping up with the pack, but once I started deadifying I were in the back with the other stragglers.
You can sees on the map just how far behind me partner I got.
Yay! I can sees the endinging point!
Is the post-race celebrating.
And the more celebrating.
Somebody thought it woulds be a good idea ta summon a Doomguard. Didn't see it happen, so I makes no accusations as ta who did it. Anyhows, we little gnomies had great funs pretending it we could hurt it. I hads ta leave soon afters, so I missed the portals to Shattrath, but I expects the funs continued well inta the night.
