Pink Knickers Revisited

Were near a year ago, Keeva overs at Tree Bark Jacket done wrote a post analyzings (among other things) the percentifications of raid bosses what be wimmenz. She done went ta a lotta work fer ta pin down what was "male" and what was "female" and what was neithers, 'cause sometimes it ain't obvious. I thought I'd done do a follow-up and look at Firelands and Dragon Soul, now that they's out. Blizz done saved me a lotta work, though, by puttin' out the Dungeon Guide what allows ya ta figger out they's sexes just by lookin' at they's pronouns (everyone done be a "him", a "her", or an "it"). Which is good, 'cause I's lazy.

Here be what I found.

Firelands
Shannox	Male
Lord Ryolith	Male
Beth'tilac	Female
Alysrazor	Female
Baleroc	Male
Majordomo Staghelm	Male
Ragnaros	Male

Dragon Soul
Morchok	Male
Warlord Zon'ozz	Male
Yor'sahj the Unsleeping	Male
Hagara the Stormbinder	Female
Ultraxion	Male
Warmaster Blackhorn	Male
Deathwing	Male
Deathwing	Male

So here be Keeva's calculatifications of the percentagizing of raid bosses what be wimmenz, with me numbers added at the end:

Vanilla	12%
Hunka Hunka Burnin' Crusader	15%
Rash of the Itch King	22%
Cata (Tier 11)	12%
Cata (Tier 12)	26%
Cata (Tier 13)	13%

Blizzard, I am disappoint. Again.

Why is Ratters disappoint?  I so glad you asked. Azeroth done a fictional world, with fictional rules. What makes it work so well, be the polish. The internal consistency. It don't feel like sumthin' what got all thrown tagethers at the last minute. One of these rules be, mens and wimmenz be equals, whethers is adventurin' heroes or the grunts what patrol Org and Stormwind or ship captains. But when ya gets ta the top of the power structures, both fer the good guys and the bad guys, this rule fer the fictional world goes out the fluggernubbin' window.

Why do it? Looks ta me like Blizz starts off assumin' bosses is all male, then switches it ta female if'n they has a reason, such as she's vengeful (eg, Sylvanas) or she got babies (eg Beth'tilac) or she yaps annoyingly (eg Hagara). But I realizes what this ain't 100% consistent (Putricide yapped a lot too) and is mostly conjecturizings. So if'n you gots other ideas as ta why Blizz trashes the balance between the sexes in Azeroth, I's all ears ('cept fer the important parts). But they does do it.

Now. Blizzard. You keeps fuhggin' with yer legendary polish fer no good reason! Seriously, how many bytes would ya have ta change, outta tens of gigabytes in me installation, fer ta say Yor'sahj the Unsleeping is a woman? Would it've really been that hard fer ta have Majordomo Mylune (vulnerables ta the Old Gods' whisperin' due ta her grief over all the burned widdle fuzzy bunnies) instead of Majordomo Staghelm?

Ya gots a new expansion comin' up, with all new raid bosses. Gonna put some polish on'em Blizz, or ya just gonna coast along with default settings again?


Edit:  Done realized I mathified the percentalizings wrong fer Tier 12. Well, that's what ya gets with a simple orc. Anywho, fixed now, and still way too fuhggin' low.

Is Where Proper Spellifications Matters

So, Kalishna were in Org other day, doin' her dailies like a good little death knugget, when a young goblin spawn done asked a question.

Is Friday Mornin' Drunkin' Singings

Fleas on me dog! ...hic!
(doo doo doo-de-doo)
Fleas on me dog! ...hic!
(doo doo doo-de-doo)
Fleas on me dog! ...hic!
Prozac on you and a fleecy dog.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas! ...hic!
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas! ...hic!
I wanna wish you a Merry Chrishtmas!
From the bottom ... of ... my ....

What?

Huh?

But those ain't even real real wordsh...

Oh. Spanish. Ohhhhhhh. ...hic!

Well, fuhg yeah, that makesh a lot more shense now...

Is wishing you buggers a happy winter solstice-ish holiday of yer preference - Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Saturnalia, Yule, or just plain "hot dang the days is getten longer again!" Catch ya on the flip side.

Rule Three Seven Two

Is time fer ta have a sit-down with a certain dragon and explains what drivin' volcanoes through buggers' houses is not civilized behaviors. Is a violation of Rule Three Seven Two, and as such, he done be requireds fer ta pay a penalty, as stipulatified by Rule. Three. Seven. Two.*

*Is like the Breaker's Rule Three Oh Three, onlies more epic.

If Disney Characters Was Raid Bosses

Snow White and the Seven Adds

You gots ta down Cinderella before midnight or she turns the raid inta pumpkins.

Mulan gots two phases. In girl phase she carries a cricket in a cage and tries fer ta marry you. In boy phase she has a dragon and lights yer arse up with a rocket launcher.

Oswald the Rabbit drops no loot, which be okay 'cause nobody remembers him nohow.

Ta beats Dumbo, everbodies needs fer ta hold a feather with they's noses and believe they can fly.

You needs fer ta interrupt the Little Mermaid or she grows legs.

101 Dalmations? AoE - lots and lots and lots of AoE.

Ta defeat Shere Khan, everybodies in the raid needs ta talk ta Baloo fer ta get the buff 'The Bare Necessities".

When Bambi's mom is killed, everyone needs fer ta turn around and not look.

If the Mad Hatter puts the debuff "Unbirthday" on you, you gots ta move down one seat or it's a wipe.

Mickey Mouse? You are not prepared.

Transmopathy

That instinctive "oh bugger that noise!" response ta the realization what you needs fer ta go back ta the bank, dig through six years of accumulated junk fer ta find them level 70 boots, then pay the mogging man more gold, then go put'em back in the bank, all 'cause ya just done got a single lousy quest reward.

Not Unless You Buy Me Dinner First, Dude

...and you sure as hell better not complain if'n I orders the lobster.