Recentlies me kid brother Gogmoth were in Tanaris, skilling up and getting paid to killer fubbernumpers. He were over on the western side of the zone, near the Un'goro Crater, when he comes across this turtle.
"I am so lost!" the turtle says. "My wife, Torta, sent me out to fetch dinner and I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.Would you be so kind as to lead me back to Torta? She's waiting for me just south of Steamwheedle Port."
Okay, this is just creepy. First of all, turtles don't talk. They don't. No way, no how. They don't say "Ouch" when ya hit'em with an axe, the hunter pets don't say "Feed me!" or "Woe is me!" when they's unhappy, Speedy the Turtle don't say "Oooh me poor little footsies" when he has ta keep up with an elite mount. All them turtles do is grunt a bit. 'Cept this one.
Second of all, what the freak was he doing on the wrong side of the desert??!? He lives next to the ocean - how could he miss it? That's like stepping off the Aldork Rise elevator and not being able to find the Terrace of Light, only with more wet and less rupturing of internal organs.
Anywho, since this turtle bugger promised that his wife would pay a reward, Gog says sure I'll show how to find the big huge impossible to miss ocean. And so the three of thems set off - Gog, stupid turtle, and Sharoona, the demonic minion with the name of a 5-year-old girl. They had to kill a few hyenas and other assorted varmints along the way, but that weren't no biggie. Soon enough, there's the ocean, there's the hungry and pissed-off missus, and there's Gogmoth's useless reward.
I wouldna believed none of it, but he snapped a few pics of the happy reunificationization: