Friday, January 18, 2008

Some Warlocks is No Fun

Well, me kid brother Gogmoth sez he's learned howta summon an Infernal. Is like a demon, but artificial. He won't tell me its name though - sez I'd just make fun. (Is will be picture, but not ready yet - soonish)

Thing about Infernals is, they ain't really under full control the way imps and voidwalkers and them hot numbers with the wings and hooves is. Ya gets about five minutes, then it decides it wants to call its own shots, thankee very much. And its idea of fun is to stomp and blast everything in sight. So the warlock's gotta keep re-enslaving it to keep it on task, which gets ta be a pain after a while. Which is why ya don't see infernals parked outside the tavern while they master pops in fer a quick pint or seven.

So I sez to Gog he should make the most of this. Summon up his new toy, kill furblogs or whatevers he's up to in Felwood fer a few minutes, then scampers down to Aastraanaaar just before the timer dings. Then mister big-burning-pile-o-rocks can party it up with the guards there. Maybe the flight master or general goods vendor too, while it's at it, as well as any unlucky buggers what happens to be standing around.

See, I don't like Aastraanaaar. Fer one thing, it be hard to spell. Fer another, when I were a young orcling, twenty or so seasons under me belt, I got this job to deliver a message to Zoram'gar Outpost, way over on the far side of Ashenvale. I'd never been ta Ashenvale before, and after the wide opens of Durotar and the Barrens, all them eyes peeking out from behind all them trees creeped me out (remembers, I were young). So I stuck to the roads, 'cause I knew that were the safe way to travel. And as I's running down the road, I sees on me map that there be a town up ahead. Even betters, I thinks. I can take a break, rest me feet, maybe gets some horizontal refreshments before I continues down this road. But just when I gets to the town gate, two Nelf guards jump out and beat the crap outta me. Hey! Not fair sneaking up on a honest travellar like that! Were very deceptive, letting them Alliance buggers have they's own town, right in the middle of where I needed to be going. But I digressifies. Point is, I don't like Astraaanar.

"No, Ratshag, I will not summon an Infernal just to let it loose on an innocent town. That would be puerile," Gog sez.

Hummph. Some warlocks is No Fun, even when they is yer brother. I thought they was all supposed to be, ya know, Eeee-ville.

Puerile. Hummph.



Hey, Klakilaki! Be a sport and tell me what "puerile" means, wouldya? Thankee.


Cryon said...

<3 Infernals.
Me and a warlock friend let one loose on Auberdine once. Lots of fun.

Sonvar said...

I like Astraanar but then again I don't have guards coming to attack me. The place I'm not fond of is Grom'Gol all I wanted to do was ride the goblin Zeppelin and they have to attack all the way getting to the zeppelin. Its not like I wanted to cause any harm as a Goblin engineer specialist I'm very interested in these goblin created flying machines. How else can I study them without seeing them in person.

Anonymous said...

The absolute worst part of Ashenvale is when that giant tree guardian thing made out of leaves and sticks comes up from behind you and smacks your head so hard that you see dead people. I HATE that guy. As soon as I was about 10 levels higher than him, I went back to Ashenvale and and opened a can of beat-down on his head. Multiple times. Very gratifying.

Anonymous said...

Puerile means childish.

klaki said...

Poop! Mr Anonymous beat me to it! I have a 70 lock and I love to be eeee-vil all the time. I love running into middle of fights and doing HoT. I love Fearing EVERYTHING! DoTs, DoTs, MOAR DoTs!