Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Guest Blogger: Ellspeth

Hi! Ellspeth here!

I'm the short one on the right. The big goofy one is Suptail, my leveling buddy and BFF. I told Ratter it wouldn't be right to put up my picture and not Sup's, since she's been my partner for over twenty seasons. She's a hunter - means she has a pet, which is just like a minion except you gotta pat its head and feed it yummies and say things like "Who's a good boy?" instead of giving its soul a good yank. Whatevers.

Me, I'm a warlock. I've got an imp and a voidwalker and a succubus to obey me without questioning. They've got names, but I never bothered to learn them. I mean, why bother? It's not like I care if they're feelings get hurt or anything.

Warlocks have this reputation for being evil and icky and all, but that is so not true. Like, for instance, this one time, I saw a little girl playing with a kitten. And I wanted to drain its soul to see what that would feel like, but first I feared the girl so she'd run away and not be traumatized or anything. But then when the fear wore off she came back and started crying and I felt really, really bummed. So I drained her soul too and then I put the two shards at the very bottom of my soul pouch, so they'd be together forever. Unless, you know, I run low and have to use one of them to summon a demon or something, but that's probably never going to happen I figure.

I wanted to say thanks to Rats, who's been like a favorite uncle ever since he first sponsored me through the "Orphans of Silvermoon" fund. And he didn't hassle me when I ran off to Mulgore to get away from the Man and all his arcano-facist lackeys, and he's paid for my alchemy lessons and tailoring lessons and enchanting lessons, and I just know he'd pay for engineering lessons if I decide I want to give that a try. He talks tough, with all his "Bugger this" and "They's all a buncha nuggerglumpers" and "I put his arse down!" but he's really just a big cuddly teddy bear.

Oh, look! A bunny rabbit and her babies! Time to practice my Rain of Fire incantation.

Tootles!
E

12 comments:

Dammerung said...

Ratshag. You leave me in awe. Seriously man.

Yer characters are amazing. A-Freakin-Mazing.

/Salute

Urthona said...

So I drained her soul too and then I put the two shards at the very bottom of my soul pouch, so they'd be together forever.

^
my favorite bit.

sonvar said...

Yes because none of that could be seen as evil.

So wrong so very wrong

Nyssa said...

Pass our love to Ratsy, Miss Ellspeth, you're the gem of his sponsorees.

Ermm..by 'pass our love' I mean give the big lump a hug..don't take his soul, we need him to keep you in the style you have become accustomed.

Trollin' said...

Well, at least you *Tried* to keep the kid from being traumatized.

Kat said...

Welcome!
Your story was so touching it brought a tear to my eye.

It was the right thing to do to keep the two shards together. Special shards like that I save for creating Soul Stones on a healer. Seems right that way.

Dani said...

Stories like this remind me why I love warlocks.

Wildhermit said...

Another solid post Rashag... err.. Ellspeth. Your toons are so creative it makes me weep... I am so lazy, my toons are just "generic-toon-a" just to see how fast I can clear the lowbie zones.

Tengu said...

Ah, such a lovely lady. I totally agree with you, warlocks are totally misunderstood. I mean, what are a few sacrifices in order to get untold power? They probably wouldn't even need those lives anyway...

Oh, and how did the kitten soul felt like?

Euripedes said...

Kittens most likely taste like the very essence of Candy.

Capital "C" and everything.

Ratshag said...

Ellspeth replies:

@ Damm - /blush

@ Urthona - it seemed like the right thing to do, you know?

@ Sonvar - :P

@Nyssa - Don't worry, there's lots of souls to drain before I'd ever get to Ratter

@Trollin' - That's right. I get an "A" for effort

@Kat - Aww... what a sweet idea. I'll definitely have to do that sometime

@Dani - And we love all you minions. I mean readers.

@Wild - Oh, don't weep. Here, let me drain your soul, then you won't be sad anymore.

@Tengu - It felt all warm and soft. Oh, and if you hold the shard to your ear, you can hear it purr!

@Euripedes - Actually, it was closer to the essence of Chocolate. But they are pretty similar.

Suptail said...

I'M the goofy one?