Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Assemble The Minions!

Blizz calls thems "followers", but that sounds way too much like camp followers to me ears, and that ain't they's job. Coulda called them "flying monkeys", "garritroopers", or "flunkeys", but I decided fer ta go with "minions".


Anywho, whatevers ya call'em, they's a new way fer ta kill things an' take they's stuff. Ya gots ta level the buggers up (by sending'em on missions). Then ya gota ta gear'em up (mostlies by buildin' a scrapyard an' sendin' them on missions ta bring back junk, and also by buildin' a dwarfenboonker an' feedin' it work orders). Then, when yer minions is ready, ya can send'em ta Highmaul. This week, Qiana done brought the tankin', with her big bare bear. Goldmane done brought the massive deeps, with him claws an' fangs an' all. An' the Pleasure-Bot 8000 done brought the .... well .... with his .... you know .... mebbe best I leaves that fer yer imaginiationalizings.


Lookie there, is loot.

Inside be a random 655 epic fer yer class an' lootspec - I got me an amulet. Is just as if ya'd gone ta Highmaul yerself. Sorta. Is a slow process - Blizz sez what ya onlies can get one of these raid-level missions every two weeks. Also ain't no guaranties what ya won't get duplicates. Finallies, is no weapons or trinkets.

But, good news is what it only takes a few minutes a day ta send the minions out, then ya can go do yer own thing while they takes care of business. So is can be a helpful way fer ta gear up alts. Also, if'n yer a raider an' has normal mode on farm, the cache starts givin' up heroic level loots. Same if'n yer farmin' heroic, it gives mythic gear.

Is gonna be a very different way fer ta play. I's lookin' forward ta doin' it fer reals next month.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Is It Just Me?

Or do the new 6.0.2 models an' graphic mapping distort Alayda's armor in a way what done makes her look like a sagger showin' off her boxers?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Is Where Danger Mouse Has An Issue

Helllooo.

I am Danger Mouse. I am Forssaken.

Last week was patch day, and mosst of us who aren't pretty blood elvess got new faces. It was a joyousss time, with cheers and fireworkss and glassses of champagne held high in celebration.

Fuck that shit.

I woke up that morning with eyes. Eyess! Me, the dead eyeless girl, with eyes! And not your happy happy joy joy I can sssee clearly now the rain is gone kind of eyes. More like looking through a pair of milk bottle eyes.


Ssuddenly, nothing worked right. I knocked things over. I equipped mysself with mismatched daggersss. I spilled a glass of Blood of the Innocentss. I went to pickpocket a Yuangol, and I slid my hand into the wrong pocket! It was like a scene from a ssteamy romance novel, with him going "yeah, girl, that's it, yeah, don't stop." It was ssso embarrassing that I vanished and ssnuck away, instead of killing him and eating his corpse.

Please, Blizzard, take away my eyes!

Monday, October 20, 2014

Everyone Hail Ta The Pumpkin Queen

Our girl Kinna done be queen of the glubberhubbin' pumpkin patch.

Is big fat hairy Congo rats ta Kinnavieve and her shiny new sword. No sign of that dang pony yet, though.

Friday, October 17, 2014

She And Him, They's Got Unfinished Business

Way backs in the day, Kinnavieve were a member of the raid team of Aetherial Circle, along with Shianti and BRK and Fio and teh Squeakie Pristie an' a buncha other really cool buggers. An' they'd done got ta Sarth 2D when Kinna hadda leave the team 'cause of reasons. Soon afters they did Sarth 3D, but she weren't there so she missed out. Years later, me an' Black Leather Undies done whupped up on Sarth 3D, an' the drake mount done went ta, of all buggers, a certain druid. Told that glubbernugger I ever caught him usin' flight form stead of ridin' it, me an' him was gonna have words. But I digressifies.

Point is, Kinna never did Sarth 3D.






I'd call that mission fuhggin' accomplished. Is shiny new mount ridin' time.


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Don't Fuhg With Helium

So John Carter done beat the Lone Ranger in last week's poll, 14-4. Yay space opera!

This week, ta celebrates some crazy bugger in Florida runnin' off with over 30,000 pounds of Crisco, we's gonna settle that age old battle betweens slippery stuff (16 tons of Crisco) an' sticky stuff (500 miles of electrical tape). Or mebbe is a battle between two songs. I just does the polls - you buggers do the rules.