Saturday, November 24, 2007

Road Trip!

I's been a blacksmith almost as long as I's been a warrior, and in me time I've been to a great buncha forges. Most of the time they's pretty easy to get to. Ya ride into town, hop off yer mount, pull yer hammer outta the backpack, and get started working up a righteous sweat while the metal sings to you. Easy as whackin' bunnies. Even if you can't find the forge right off, you can often ask a guard or someones, and they'll be happy to say "It's right over there, rocks-fer-brains."

Likes I said, easy.

But some forges is harder to get to than others. Thun'grim Firegaze set his up in the middle of the Barrens. "East of the Crossroads" I was told. Fegh! He were on top of a bloody mountain! And Galvan the Ancient set up his forge in the middle of the jungle in Stranglethorn Vale. Fuggin tigers walk up and bite yer arse while yer trying to Smelt On, Smelt Off.

But I'd have to say that the hardest forge to get to is also the most amazing one of all. It's the Great Forge in the heart of Ironforge. And I wanted to see it, at least once. Maybe hammer out some felsteel armor while I's there. Swaps stories with me fellow smiths. "But Ratter," you sez, "ain't Ironforge full of them ankle-biting dwarves, who don't take kindly to surprise visitors droppin' in (especially orcs)?" Well, yeah. I said it were hard to get to, didn't I?

I figures I'm gonna do me best to look unthreatening, so as to put the locals at their ease. I takes off me armor and weapons and puts on me best civilian tuxedo. I rode me Brewfest Ram, so's to show I honors the local customs. And I prepares to wave and state me intentions to peacefully tour the forge and then depart in a calm, unthreatening voice.

Pfft. Fat lotta good that did me. Soon as the guards got over the "What the fuhg? An orc just ran past us!" shock, they was on me. I didn't fight back, just kept pushing toward the Great Forge. It were chaos. Guards everywhere, hunters shootin' they's bows and sending in they's pets, and at least one human rogue stealthed her way in so she could cop a feel. I weren't sure I were gonna make it, but fortunately I's a tough bugger and I got around a corner and there it were.

The Great Forge.

It were magnificent.

Then the guards got me down and slapped the chains on me. Then they dragged me out of town and tossed me off a cliff, the one overlooking the cemetery. Oof. That hurt. A bunch. Still, I was glad I done it.


Anonymous said...

You should've tried during brewfest then the dwarves would've been too drunk to notice or think you were a gnome. Though I will agree it's a great forge I've used it for many of my engineering creations.

Gauntlet said...


Zerei said...

Yeah, damn dwarves, can't respect the path of a truly righteous pilgrim such as yourself. Well done, regardless!

Xizang said...

Great story, and a lot of dedication ...

Anonymous said...

I'm a dwarf and if i'd have seen you with no armor on I'd have given you a pass. The Great Forge is a wonderous thing to see and I wouldn't begrudge Man or Orc trying to get to it....Hanover