Saturday, October 18, 2008

Is Phoenicia Jones

'Alloo there!

After clearing out the Scarlet Pumpernickles last week, mah mates and I felt we were ready for a new challenge, so we took ourselves inta the Badlands, where we stumbled onta some Dark Iron Bocktuggers who were digging around in the ruins of Uldaman. We figured they must be after soomethin' good, so we started poking around in the passages they had dug inta the hllside. Of course, they didn't care too much for us a-pookin', so we had ta kill them all as we went.

In one chamber we found three crazy lost vikings archeologists from the Explorer's League. They'd done and got themselves trapped by troggs. After being stuck there with no beer for several weeks, they'd had quite enough archeology and were ready to go home. The boss, Baelog, told us that there was a marvelous Hidden Chamber which we were welcome to explore ourselves, however. He gave us the Gni'kiv Medallion, and explained that we needed to combine it with the Shaft of Tsol, bein' carried around by a Trogg named Revelosh and place them in the map room to unlock the entrance. 

"Wait a minute," I said. "Dinnae we just kill a trogg by that name? He didn't have any such shaft on him, nae even a toothpick."

"Ummm, mayba ye killed the wrong Revelosh. Why din't ya poke around some more and see if ye can find the right Revelosh."

So we wandered around a bit, killed some more troggs, and what dye know? There was another one named Revelosh. Sure enough, after we killed this bugger we found the Shaft of Tsol on his smelly corpse. We cleared the last few troggs outta the map room, and then attached the medallion to the shaft and stuck'em in what loocked like an appropriate socket.

"Nothing's happening," said Jadya, always impatient.

But then the shaft started turning, and when it got itself where it wanted to be a beam of light came out from the medallion and struck the big doors at the far end of the room. We could hear the roombling of ancient gears as the locking mechanism began ta turn.

"Ooh, ooh, it's opening!" Cried out wee Ffrost, bouncing up and down in excitement. "I hope there's treasure! Remember, mages get to roll need on everything." Greedy little sod. Sometimes I just want ta grab him by his blue hair and see how far I can drop-kick him.

But then the doors opened and Great Aunt Josephne's Lacy Bloomers!
The biggest damn boss Ah've ever seen came charging out. "None may steal the secrets of the makers!" she boomed. But big as she was, I tanked the gel, the others spanked her, and Big Ort (when he remembered he was on healing duty) kept me standing. We got the iron-plated bitch down, and then we stole her secrets. Which the blokes back in Ironforge traded me a pretty axe fer.

So that was our night in Uldaman. We'll probably go back next week, explore some more, hopefully get some drops other than "of the whale" chainmail. Until then, keep yuir feet on the ground, unless he remembered ta bring ye roses this time.

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