Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This One's Fer Hydra

Somebody out on the interwebbies had themselves a lotta time whiles waitin' ta get inta Blizz's site fer to buy BlizzCon tickets. I'd give credit if I knew who done wrote it, but I don't. Anywho, it laughified me big time, so I's posting it. (Is a parody of this Onyxia raid, if ya ain't familiars go listen first, then come back and read - otherwise is a 50 dkp minus).

Ok listen up. You are going to DPS the server very very slowly. Now, and by slowly I mean REALLY slow. If you get a construction bot, it means you are going to lose 50dkp because you didn't know what to do. And watch the traceroute. If you get into the murlocs, you lose 50dkp again, for not being where you were supposed to be.

There is no cache reset. There is some worry about an cache reset when people don't know how to refresh the webpage. After 2 refreshes you can basically start clicking links to it. Assuming you know how websites work and you don't over-refresh.

Ok connect to it, click on it. Help the murloc groups. When it's in phase 2, spam it as hard as possible. You want to try to connect as fast as possible. Have multiple browsers up on every time, 2 rows, Firefox, IE, Safari, everything. I don't see enough browsers, more browsers now. Come on more refreshes. F5 it like you mean it. You'll have time to rest in the credit card confirmation page while I'm getting the loadscreen. Remember, save all your latency reducing abilities for when it submits. That means Clear Cache, Clear Cookies, @#$%ing History, anything you can use to reset latency.

At 40% you will stop submitting, until then you will keep refreshing. Throw more refreshes, more refreshes, more refreshes ... come on more refreshing. Ok, stop the load. Now hit F5 very hard ... and very fast. Lee run to the confirmation page, Mulgras run to the confirmation page, Forsyte run to the confirmation page, Nurf run to the confirmation page, Isis run to the confirmation page. Whatever you do, do not wait for other people. Mulgras, confirmation page. Just redirect me. Lee do not... go away from the homepage, lee. Go away. Ok pageload, slowly. Come here you dratted tickets... Watch the ping!


Wistoovern was feared into...

Who was that? Wistoovern, what the...? Murlocs, left side! Even side! Many murlocs! Now, handle it! No! That's a 50dkp minus! What the heck was that Wist? If you click in the right place, there is no way you are going to get into the murlocs, whatever errors, lag, whatever, ok? It's like one in a million. From the north corner to the middle into the murloc page, it's not even remotely imaginable!

Hopes ya got yer tickets, Hydra. And if not, at least mebbe you can gets a chuckle outta this.

EDIT: This were written by the talented (and bored) Mister Ferromancer, a bugger what makes his own armor. Damn fine, that. The original post is on the WoW Forums over heres.


Khol Drake said...

Definitely someone with too much time on their hands, but amusing all the same.

The original always makes me laugh.

Hydra said...

No tickets… but last year they released more after the first wave. So I may just get some yet. Thanks for the giggle Ratter.

Aboo said...

LOL - That's the first time I've ever seen that Onyxia raid wipe. That was great!

Kinzlayer said...


thanks Ratshag for posting it here, I didn't see that on the forum... there were some very funny Nerd Rage and what-not on the forum the last few days.

no tickets for me either and hopefully Hydra is right and they will release moar. I truly would like to see Diablo 3 as well as Star Craft 2.

Armond said...


FerroMancer said...

*gasp* That was me!

My character is Wistoovern in Zul'Jin. I was at work, and I saw someone commenting about pages loading very, very I found the transcript and made some modifications.

Funny thing is, even though I got Feared into the murloc cave (that's how I kinda signed it, I guess), I actually got tickets.

Jacapo said...


sunjun said...


Zupa said...

genius :)

10 / 10