Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Sexy Dwarf Wimmens

Everybody loves ol' Ratter, but until I dings 70 I's only lovin' the dwarf wimmens back. Fortunatelies fer me, last night I had me the opportunity to loves me five luscious ladies at the same time. Is a good thing I's amazingly virile. We loved it up in the snow, and it were brisk an envigger..., invigro..., inviviviger... bugger it. It were dwarf style: cold and refreshing and saucy and sexy.

It were a night to remember, especiallies fer them five tasty pieces of dwarfflesh what was each lucky enough to get theyselves a 20% share of Rat love:
Annas, what can flatten steel with her thighs.
Brede, who gots plenty of awesomesauce loving
Bellwether, who were totally into me purple-headed, two-hander staff.
Fimlys, what enjoyed playing naked leap-frog.
Nightravyn, who liked ta play "find tha treasure".

Umm... Hello All You WoWinsider Folks

Weren't expecting companies today, so things is a bit of a chaos. Anywho, help yerself to the Bufalo-style Arakkoa wings, and if yer looking fer informationizations on the Running of da Bulls this Saturday, it be down here.

If you'd like ta join us, we'd loves to have you.


Reached me 69th season now. In honor of such, I shall only be entertaining ladies of the dwarfish persuasion these days. But don't worry, all you lovely gnomes and taurens and other wimmenfolk of varying altitudes - I'll be 70 soon enough and then I'll be availables to all again.

In a separate subject, I cant helps but notice what me gear be looking pretty dang purple at the moment. Which leads me to the fact what I done crafted me first epic today: [Primal Mooncloth Belt]. Woot! Yeah, sure, it don't fit yet, but it will soons enough.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

It Were a Productive Evening

I's in me 68th season as a dworc spriest now, and things is starting to get interesting. I'm starting to go places I never got to as me orcish self, and it looks like there be more coming. Stick around, we'll see how far I can takes this...

Last night started off with me killing ogres and Arakkoa in the Blades Edge Mountains. Me guildie Xian said we wanted to lend me a hand, but he were busy raiding in TK. So instead he sent over his dimwitted huntard cousin Xianthar. Xianthar followed me around, sometimes helping ta kill stuff but sometimes just standing there with a dumb look on his face. Even when he did get inta the fight, it were pretty clumsy, like he was distracted by something else. Can't choose yer relatives, I guess.

After the raid broke up, Randomly Coherent Kel whispered me if I's up for a dungeon run? Sure, I sez. How about Shattered Halls, 'cause I be needing Honor Hold rep fer they's healy head enchant. Well, we picked up two more guildies pretty quick, but it took a bit of browbeating to get a volunteer fer the last slot.
But eventually we got someone to come kicking and screaming with us, and off we went. Ya know, I never did tank SH back when I were doing that stuff? Is were all new experience fer me. SH is tough enough what at a couple points them epicced-up raiders had to pause and say "selves, maybe we oughtta pay atention to the fundementals fer this fight, 'stead of just jumpin' in" but we got it done without too much troubles. And there was lewts fer Ratter! First off, I picked up a "of the Invoker" wand which were an upgrade. Then Nethekurse said his bracers looked was better on me than him, so I shoulds take'em. Right friendly fer a recently dead guy, I thought, and then Kel slapped a +12 Int enchant on'em right away, which were cools. Nuthin' usefuls of the rest of the bosses, but back at HH they gave me a coupla healy items fer me good services: a cloak and some boots.

Gonna keep pushing hard this week. We'll see how far I can gets.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Nelfs Gone Wild (With Video!)

Hi everyone! This is Palintera.

I want to tell you about my adventures last night, but you have to promise not to tell my mother. Because if she knew what I'd been up to, I would be So Busted. So please promise not to tell. She thinks I spend my evenings singing in the moonlight with other druids, and then getting a full night's sleep and having a hearty bowl of granola at the crack of dawn...

What, Feral? You won't tell if I give you a what? While wearing a huh? Oh my goddess. Ummm.... okay.

Well, it all started off normal enough. Feralicious from Team Bell and I wanted to go into the Deadmines and give old VanCleef what for. Some of the other Sidhe Devils were interested too, and in no time we'd put together a full party. We had Xiliah from Alts Ahoy! doing haelz, and Linnaea from Team Ess at Outland Bound throwing down fire and ice, and Waldorph (from Team Mr. Ess) the feisty gnome on tanking duty.

We totally rocked the place. Cut our way through miners and pirates and goblins like the pros we are. Because Feral'd been there before, she already had the druid gear, so I got lots of new gear. I got boots and pants and a hammer of uber-leet dps, just like her. /happy Pali. Here's a few pictures I took as we worked our way through the mines:
Unfortunately, after taking down Mr. Smite and working our way onto the pirate ship, disaster struck. We had a bad pull, and just then Xil got DC'd. Uh-oh. Feral yelled "run away!" and Linn and I made it to the paddle wheel (which is safe 'cause pirates hate to jump), but Waldo and Feral didn't make it. /sad Pali. So, they had to res back at the entrance, while we hung out and danced and mooned the pirates. But there were too many fresh patrols by that point, and so they couldn't get to us and we couldn't get to them. So we ended up calling it a night without getting to see Mister "I'm mad just because I built a whole city and they didn't pay me" VanCleef. But next time! Oh, next time we're going to finish the job!
Feral and I went to Warsong Gulch for a bit after that. We one the first round easily, but after that we ran into a Horde premade and they HK-farmed us pretty bad two rounds in a row. /annoyed Pali.

So there we were, in Shattrath. Two druids, ready for anything. Yeah, we're young, but we're strong and tough and smart and sexy and someday we're gonna set the world on fire. Just you watch us!
So we went bar-hopping for a bit, until Feral almost got into a brawl with Haris Pilton. "Gonna make that skinny girl eat a sammich" she was muttering, when I said:

"Hey! 'licious! Let'sh go see the Dark Portal ...hic!"
"Can we do that?"
"Of courshe we can ...hic! Grab a coupla bottles and let'sh go."

So we hopped on a couple of gryphons and we went. It was amazing.

So, we hung out there a while. Feral was sitting with her back against the portal, and I was lying on the stones looking up at the sky and enjoying the view, when she said, "I don't like the way that Pit Commander is shtaring at ush."

"You don't, 'licious?"

"No. I do not."

"Well, what are you going to do about it, hun?"

"I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I am going to. Kick. His. Ass. ...hic!"

Well, she stands up and heaves a bottle at him and charges. And I charge with her. 'Cause we're a team. Damn straight. And we yelled the fearsome Sidhe Devils Battle Cry, which is basically "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!", real loud.
Okay, so maybe that wasn't a great idea.

Well, we limped off and licked our wounds. But we weren't going to let the night end like that. Not us. We signed up for fun and adventure, and we were going to get our fill. So we decided to streak Thrall. 'Cause, you know, he's such a n00b.

Okay, I'm not really sure at this point which of us came up with the idea. But it made perfect sense at the time, you know? It took us a while to get there, and then, well the guards? They weren't too friendly. I tried explaining that I was a friend of that amazingly awesome orc hero Ratshag, but that just didn't work. They were all "Ugzh nagakh thugle!" and then the nastiness with the axes.
Run, 'licious! Run!

So, we spent a lot of time as wisps, running back to our bodies, and then planning a strategy on how to get as far as possible before the guards caught us again. And somewhere along the the way we made a wrong turn and, instead of Thrall's throne room we stumbled onto these cultists down in a fiery chasm under the city.

See! There we are:

Well, it wasn't as flamboyant as giving the Leader of the Horde a couple of eyefuls, but killing cultists is always fun. So we put our armor back on and got to work. Feral got her bear on and I did haelz. You know, nobody in Team Ratshag has ever healed an instance before? I was the first. Yay on me! /happy Pali. We killed them even the bosses, and took their loot, which we totally didn't need. But it was fun-and-a-half anyway.
After we were done, it was getting soooo late. Way, way past a young druid's bedtime. So we ported to Moonglade and then flew to Darnassus. And there Feralicious totally had her way I mean, we made plans for next week. We're going to learn how to switch to aquatic form together. Mister Shag says this is a harbinger of the coming Walrus Apocalypse, but that's just him being silly.

Oh! I promised a video! Well, see, you know those herbs that look like silverleaf but aren't? Well, if you talk to the right trainer they can teach you some interesting things to do with them. But unfortunately the ones I gave Feral must have been a bit, ummm, off. Because at one point, she started saying I wasn't a wisp but that my beaten and bloody corpse was sliding along the ground next to her. I tried telling her that no, no I was a wisp, but she wouldn't believe me and sent a video of it. And all I can say is, huh.

Well, I hope you all are well, and Elune's blessing on you.


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Running of da Bulls For Sharvan

Okay, I's sure all you buggers already knows this from reading Vertically-Challenged Huntard, but just in case here's all the details fer our Running of Da Bulls race:

Step the First: Roll up a level 1 Tauren on the Cenarion Circle server (not Cenarius - the ain't the same, no way, no how). Any sex, any class (except paladin; no holy cows). DO NOT leave the starting area, do any quests, go anywhere, or acquire any gear. You is encouraged to strip down to yer skivvies in order to gets better aerodynamifications.

Step the Second: Show up Saturday, May 3, before 4:00 pm Server time (is 7:00 in NY, 6:00 in TX, 4:00 in CA). Get yer game face on

Step the Third: There will be a voluntary Moo salute for Sharvan. More on that farther downs.

Step the Fourth: Run. Run, you glumpernuggin' cows, run! Get to Hammerfall in the Arathi Highlands as fast as them big lumbering legs can. BRK done thoughtfully laid out a course here, but you is not required to follow it. Feel free to cut corners, exploit terrain, swim the lake, take the boat to Booty Bay, or run through the Western Plaguelands. Just so long as you gets to Hammerfall without teleporting, enchants, warlock summonizing, spirit rezzing, aspect of the lazy huntard and his friends, etc., etc., etc. Sure you could cheat if ya wanted to, by why would ya wants to? It's the journey what be the fun part.

For thems what ain't Horde, there's a zeppelin tower just outside Orgrimmar (don't go into the city itself). Zeps is just like boats - one comes by every few minutes. The Zep on the south side of the tower takes ya to Undercity (the zep what docks on the north side goes to Stranglethorn Vale, where the zombie pirate nagas is).

First person to get through to Hammerfall and open a trade window with me friend Zinzi be the winner. Once we gots a winner, I'm gonna start clearing mobs from near the road fer to make it easier fer people to get by - don't want nobody being stuck and frustrated.

Okay, about that moo salute I mentioned. Yesterday BRK and me's friend Sharvan passed away. Sharvan were friendly and nice and fun and a good person to have around, but most of all she liked to say "moo". I never knew quite why, but she said it with such enthusiasm and panache what it didn't matter why. It were just who she were, ya know?
BRK asked me yesterday if I thought dedicating the race to Sharvan would be okay, and I tolds him I thought it were a damn fine idea. Sharvan once told me she felt silly things were good things to have, and I think she'd have really gotten a kick outta several hundred taurens all mooing together. So, at 3:59 we's gonna invite you shaggy buggers to join us in saying "moo" as a salute to her memory. Is entirely optional, but please keeps in mind that silly don't mean it can't also be respectful. Thankee.

So there it be. Saturday May 3. Cenarion Circle. 4:00 ST. Gonna be fun - hopes ya can make it.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I Has Lost A Friend

I's just found out that Sharvan, a reader of this here blog and a founding member of Aetherial Circle, has passed away. I'd only known her a few months, but she'd been real nice to me, and I am very sad. Me deepest sympathies go out to her family, and to those who were fortunate enough to know her better than I did.

Goodbye, Sharvan. You were a good person, and I's gonna miss you.

Nagrand at Night

Thought it looked cool, so I tooks a picture.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Mister Snuggles

Loves me The Scout Report. Now with RSS goodness!

The Ring of Blood!

Blah blah ... Aetherial Circle ... blah blah ... Mount Hyjal ... blah blah ... Rage Winterchill ... blah blah... one-shotted ... blah blah blah.

Okay, let's talk about something interesting. Like me, and my shiny lewt from last night.

All starts when I log on, and Shu the Mage sez "Hey! Rats is 65! Let's go do Ring of Blood!" And Randomly Coherent Kel sez she'll tank it, and Squeaky Cay offers to do heals, and off we go.

Now, when I dids this the first time, it were me and three others from me guild, plus there were three or four Alliance buggers doing the same. We'd help them kill a flunkerdubber, then they'd help us. Was all real gentlemanly. But only about half that whole crew was 70s, and baby 70s at that. some blues, but fer sure no epics. And while nobody died, it were tough fights.

Last night were all different. Them other three, they's all in T4/ZA/T5 gear. Dang, that makes a difference. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! ummm...... Bang! down when the contenders. And when it were all done, I got me a spiffy Battle Baton. I were real tempted to go with the Voidaxe, 'cause that did me real good in me warrior days, but Shu said that weren't so great fer priests.

So, here's some pics of the team and some of the cluggerthunkers we did for. Plus me afters with me new shiny.

I must say, even with the wolf head invisified, I's starting to look pretty clowny. Oh, well. Is a righteous looking staff of killing things, though.

Monday, April 21, 2008

This One's Fer Toque

In the comments on the previous post, Toque asked fer a pic of Palintera and Feralicious wearing just they's footgear. Well, the girls is busy tonight, but here at Need More Rage we hates to disappoint a reader. So young Galertruby done volunteered to fill in. Yer welcomes, bro.

Garhhl. Gahhl galha Garrrahhalagh.

Aghlahhl glarrh ghalrlhh alhhrga: gallhr glah garrahhalglar. Agrhh glagglha gha ghrallhalha aglh, aglha gallh gahll gahrrallah agglh ahghlagl. Agh grrhal gallha gra gahhllha gallraghl ahl galagh, gahhll garhh ahhghr glahh gallagh.

Glaghalahl aggla gahl. Lagaha gahl gahah alahgl. Garahh gallh ga arhhh galahhl. Aghahll garhhr gallha gaah gaarrhl, agh agghal ghallalhah ah gllarh. Gllah gahr allahhgrl GhallaglGah. Agh glahhgl glahhgl garrh gahhlahglahhr, ga gallhahl ahhr gaahhrlaghr.

Gahla glah!

Girls Night Out

Oh, hi! Palintera here, Team Ratshag's affirmative action druid.

Last night I was doing some jobs for the furblogs over on Azuremyst Isle, 'cause I'd heard there were some good rewards for a young adventurer not afraid to get her hands dirty. And then I got a call on the guild channel:

"Paallliiiii! Watcha doin?" Yay! It was my friend Feralicious, from Team Bell.
"I'm killing ravagers, 'licious," I told her.
"Need any help?"
"Not really, but I'd love some company"

So she trotted on over from the Exodar. That's her on the left, there. She showed me her uber-hammer of leet feral dps (level 15 edition), which Mister Shag would say is a truly righteous weapon. And then we got to work on those ravagers. We Wrathed and Moonfired and Bearformed all over their ugly asses. I was really glad to see that her hair was growing back after I'd put Nair in her bear shampoo that one time. Which was mean of me, even if she totally deserved it.

After I had enough ravager skin, we headed up the coast and Rawwred the heck out of the murlocs we found, including a big one who boldly told us his name was Murgurgula and was carrying a piece of fur he'd bitten out of one of my furblog friend's tushie. Hello Murg! Goodbye Murg!

Afterwards we went back to the furblog village and gave Gurf his dignity back, and he gave me some really nice pants, to which I promptly applied the armor kit 'licious was nice enough to make for me. However, we felt a little overdressed with all those furblogs walking around in just thongs. Besides, we're druids! Running naked through the woods is what we do. (At least, that's what Mister Shag told me.) So here's a pic of us, "going native". Which was fine, until one of the villagers walked up from behind and pinched us! On our butts! What a perv! I was all set to go give him what for, but Feralicious just laughed, and then she pinched me! Hey! /indignant

But I can't be mad at teh 'licious Feral. She's like my big sister, plus she keeps giving me all these nice leathers. Oh, and real sorry if the pic left you expecting tales of hot, drunken nelfette-on-nelfette action to feed your secret lusts and perverted fanatsies. You'll just have to go take a cold shower or something.


Saturday, April 19, 2008

Ratter Does A Celebrity Endorsementification

After a hard day's work of pillaging, looting, and burning down villages, I find that nothing clears the soot outta me throat like a mug of cool, refreshing Filtered Draenic Water (TM). Pick some up at an innkeeper or food & drink vendor near you!

Limited to 20 units per stack. Sold only in Outland. This product has not ben tested by the Alliance Food and Drug Administration.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Is Where Palintera Discovers She Has A Reputation


I spent my first day as a member of the Sidhe Devils (which I have heard is pronounced She Devils). I met several of my guildmates, all of whom were quite friendly. Ms Shadow was kind enough to provide me with some pocket money, most of which I'm going to set aside for a rainy day, but I did by myself some new leather gloves and a nice staff. I was hoping to find some pants which didn't still have a lingering furblog smell to them, but there were none available on the Auction House. Sad druid. Oh, and I got myself some new bags, because the standard-issue adventurer's backpack just fills up so fast. And then I went to the guild provisioner's shop and picked up a tabard. I like the design - very professional looking, I think. And then, just out of curiosity, I looked up my records in the guild registry. Oh, look, there I am! Level 10 druid, that's me! Rank: Cub fits with our guild's bear theme, and -Ah! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Umm. Hmmm. What am I going to do about this? I don't want my guild to think I'm unreliable. No more alcohol. Nope. Jumping on the wagon, is Palintera. Gonna be stone cold sober for the rest... well, phooey. That's not going to be any fun. Moderation. That's it. I hereby resolve to drink only In Moderation. But I don't want to be too rigid, though. So, when appropriate, I shall moderate my moderation. Yup. That'll work. That's what Mister Shag would want me to do.

*bounces a couple of times*

I am so glad my mother doesn't know about this...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Oh, Now This Just Looks Fuhggin Silly

The Tinkerbell wand were bad enough, but great googly moogly! Look at me new helmet! Is Ratshag, the bearded puppy! Blech.

When I wore the warrior version of this on me first climb through Outland, it looked fierce. It looked cunning. It looked dangerous.

This just looks goofy. /sigh

Time to invisify another helm...

Is A Quick Shadow Priesty Question

Shhh. Talk soft. Me GM is watching me, and I can't let him know I's asking you buggers this. Don't want him to realize I's a newb with this priesty stuff. See, he says he owns me soul now, even though it be dirty and kinda sticky, and I don't want him ta go "Pffft! Not worth it" and chuck it out the window. So I's asking all quiet and discreet-like. Ya with me? Good.

Okay, so. Me question. Do shadow priests have any kind of AoE attack? 'Cause, I know them goody-goody holy types has this, but I can't do that. So, does I have something comparable and I's just too much the simple orc to find it in me spellbook? Or when I's got a swarm of buggies does I just need to burn'em down one at a time?

So, thanks fer helping me out here. And whatevers ya does, don't tell Fio!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Guest Blogger: Palintera the Drood

Greetings. My name is Palintera, and I am the newest member of Team Ratshag. May the Goddess watch over you.

Last week I received a message from Mister Shag, informing me that my probationary period was complete and that I was now a full member of the team. Elune be praised! No longer would I have to live in fear of being DELETEd, as had befallen so many of my brothers and sisters. I could continue on my journey toward EndGame with confidence now.

That night Mister Shag hosted a party for team members to welcome me. I was a little nervous as I knocked on the door of his apartment in Shattrath; I felt rather plain and awkward wearing patched leather I had taken off of a furblog and holding the only gift I could afford - a bowl of fragrant herbs. I knew some of the others had been with him almost since the beginning, and would have acquired much nicer and more appropriate items. However, as the team's only druid I was determined to be pleasant and cheerful and not look for a dark corner to hide in.

It turned out I was being worried over nothing. As soon as I walked in, my new teammates made me feel welcome and completely at ease. At no point did I feel like anyone was looking down on me (well, I'm taller than most of them, but I'm sure you know what I mean). It was a cheerful, somewhat raucous party - much like Mister Shag himself - and I soon felt completely at home.

"Helllooo....." said a raspy voice. "Would you like a cookie? I baked them mysself."

I looked down to see a young Forsaken woman holding up a plate of what looked like butterball nut cookies. I was a little leary, since the girl looked (and smelled) like she'd been lying dead in a ditch for several weeks, and I was very unsure of her ability to judge what tasted good anymore. Her lack of eyes was particularly creepy. But I did not wish to seem rude, so I took one and cautiously nibbled. Mmmmm! It was delicious. I quickly took a much larger bite, and then told her so.

"I know," she said. "I got the recipe from an egotistical priest." I had no idea what to make of that, so I just nodded. "I'll be setting them over there. Help yoursself if you want more."

"Thank you," I said.

"Embrace the shadow, Palintera," was her rather cryptic reply.

Later in the evening, a pretty blonde (and rather inebriated) blood elf was kneeling on the sofa next to me, chattering away and working my hair into a series of small, tight braids, cheerful and amiable as if we were long-lost friends. I wasn't saying much, just content to listen to her pleasant voice chatter away, when out of the blue she said "I like you so much, Pali! It's like you're my sister. When the time comes to drain your soul into a crystal, I'm going to place it on the shelf I have for only my very favorite posessions!"

I turned to stare at her, my eyes very wide. She giggled, and then, ever so slowly and gracefully, she leaned sideways and slid to the floor, where she lay with one arm reaching up. "Minion!" she cried. "Assist me! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!" A big shadow elemental mumbled "Send me back..." in a tone of utmost despair and anguish, but it did drift over and hand her her glass.

A minute later Mister Shag walked over and clapped me on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Palintera. Ellspeth says that to everybody what joins the team. But she ain't done it yet, has ya, Ellspeth?" he asked the horizontal elf.

"Yet ain't over, Ratter!" she replied, and giggled some more.

Later, Mister Shag brought over a rather dirty-looking bottle, with a label sloppily pasted on which said Uncle Bonechompers Day-Old Piss. "Is the good stuff fer ya, kid," He said. "Just like we get back in Durotar. Enjoys!" I looked at the bottle with no small degree of trepidation, but I was not going to risk disappointing my boss, and I'd had enough to drink already that I was feeling rather bold and adventurous. So, silently whispering a quick prayer to Elune, I picked up the bottle, pulled the cork out with my teeth, spat it out, and took a long pull. There was a general cheering from around the room, so I figured I had made the right move.

Unfortunately, I must confess that much of the rest of the evening is rather a blur. I do remember at one point that I was sitting in the lap of a rather handesome young Night Elf warrior and stroking his ears (or maybe I was nibbling on them - I'm really not clear on that) when Mister Shag called out, "Hey Dak! Watch out fer Sudden Bear On Top syndrome!" which caused everyone in the room to laugh.

"No worries, Rats!" my companion replied. "I brought protection!" and everyone laughed even louder.

I, however, was completely confused, and it must have shown on my face, because the ghost wolf which had been chewing on a bone in the corner got up and turned into a tall blue-haired troll woman. She walked over to me, leaned in close, and explained. Oh. Oh! Oh my! I'm sure I must have turned seven shades of purple at that, but fortunately things get pretty blurry again after that ...

The next morning I awoke with my head feeling as though two Grells were beating on it with staffs, and my mouth tasting like an incontinent creature of the night had relieved itself therein. I would have much preferred to remain unconscious, but Mister Shag had just thrown a bucket of cold water in my face and the option was not available to me.

"Rise and shine, kiddo," he said. "Got some nice folks fer ya to meet."

He took me down the street to a small but pleasant-looking adventuring guild shop, with the name Sidhe Devils on a shingle outside the door. Inside were two well-seasoned adventurers, another druid and a human rogue. He introduced them as Windshadow and Cassieann, "although fer reasons I's never understood, they also goes by Mr. and Mrs. BBBBB. Or BBBBBB. Sumthin' like that. You know I can't be bothered ta remember the details."

Windshadow grinned. "Yes, Rats, we know."

Mister Shag explained that, as an experienced druid, Windshadow would be able to give me useful advice as I worked my way through the world. Plus, she "were dang pleasant folk." They exchanged a few more pleasantries, then he took his leave. Ms. Shadow showed me were I could store my few meager belongings, and then we talked a bit about specs. She told me that, even though I wanted to be a healer, that I would hate myself if I put my points into the Resto tree while leveling. "Feral is the only sane way to go," she said. She also told me that, if I kept my nose to the grindstone and got to my fifteenth season, that she might reward me and and some of the other new guildies with a naked Deadmines run. I am beginning to suspect that Mister Shag has left me with someone who shares his low sense of humor...

So that is my story so far. Thank you for listening, and to Mister Shag for giving me the opportunity. Elune bless you.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Pfft. Bugger Don't Know Me Too Well

"Return to Feralfen Village and discreetly gather some of their idols so that I may study them. Try to avoid angering them, Ratshag, as it may hurt our chances of making contact with them."

I swears, he actually said that to me. Wants me to go take they's holy idols, but don't be rude or unpleasant while I does it. Probably expected me to say "thankee" and wipes me feet. Great googly moogly. Keep in mind, at the same time the Treehuggers is paying me ta kills the Umbrafens and the Kurenai is paying me to done extermify the Daggerfens.

I's a warrior. Even more so, I's a orc warrior. I don't do "discreet", expecially now that I gots these fun Shadow Priesty toys like face melting and Bang! You dead! I walked inta that village and executed every last lubbertunking broken mutant draenaninny I could find. And then I tooks the holy idols.

His excellency Anchorhead Ahuuuurn is welcome to go make contact now, assumings he can find anybody to talk to...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Is a Buncha Pictures and Stories

First offs, this here be Sabiba, me new arena teammate. Ain't she a tasty piece of elfflesh. Say hello, you buggers.
From the cold, uncaring viewpoint of dry unadorned win-loss record, we didn't do so great on our first week together. Especially since two of our wins were against this woman here. But so whats? It were spontaneous, we had some fun, nobody got hurt too bad, and I learned some stuff what'll help me do better next time around.

Sabiba also done hooked me up with a new guild. Is small, but bigger'n me old one was back when it were in business, and the folks has been real nice to me. This morning we was planning to stick our toes in the waters what be Kara fer the first time. Unfortunately there were some last-minute schedule issues what came up, and the raid weren't able to come off. But sooner or later we's gonna have us a date with Kara. And she'll order the lobster, and the waiter's gonna probably get the order wrong, and someone'll drop a tray of dishes real loud-like in the back they way they do sometimes, and I don't know where the fuhg I's going with this metaphor...
Anywho. Raid on Karazhan. Didn't happen this week, but I's hopeful it will soon, and I's gonna have me some fun when it do.

Has anyone notices what Skyguard Khatie done got herself a flying mount? Now ya don't haveta worries about steppin' on her when ya bring in her five aether rays. But of course most of you buggers is too busy off Sunwelling nowadays to pay poor Khatie a visit ain't ya. "I miss you" she says. Well, old Ratter ain't too busy to gets her some rays, and ta show her appreciations, not only did she pay me the usual 11.99 gold and fifteen shards, she done took me fer a spin on her new mount and initiated me inta what she called the "fifty-meter high club."

For a while, I helped out a young, randomly coherent druid trying to find raptors and pirates ta kill in the Barrens, which were funs. Is relaxing to hit funkertuppers so hards they leaves nuthin' but a smear reaching halfway to the next zone, ya know?

Well, Kara didn't work out but there's still work to be done fer a band of adventurers willing to lay it on the line. Fer examples, them evil time-manipulating dragons, what be different colored from the good time-manipulating dragons, is still trying to mess up the timeline to prevent Thrall from forming the new and improved Horde and losing his virginity in Tarren Mill. So me and some of me new guildies got together and went and saved history and whatnot. And Bell? Yer right, he's a total n00b. Face pulls, totally ignoring the kill sequence, crappy gear. But we managed to pull it off in spite of hisself.
'Course to do all this we had to disguisify usselves as pasty-skinned humans. Since I weren't tanking but was just supplying extra dps fer this run, I wore me "kill things fast" gear, which worked fine. But great googly moogly. Normally I looks like a deadly killing machine. But as a human, I just look like a uptight, psychotic scarecrow. Fuhggit.

After that we was all full of piss and vinegar and figured we give heroic ramps a shot. Pffft. Five minutes in, we had six adventurer skeletons and three dead fel orcs lying just inside the entrance. Okay, maybe we need to gear up some more before we try this.

Well, where's a good place to gear up young adventurers? How about MrT? We swapped out our tankadin fer a blasty shammy, and I switched into me tanking gear, fer the first time since .... bugger. Fer the first time since last November. Do you like me goggles? Made'em meself. Engineering pride, baby!

So anyway, we cleared to the first boss. I hasta admit, I were a little rusty and mistakish, and really buggered it up at one point. But these was cool lads I were running with, and we all just laughed a bit and dusted ourselves off and moved on. Were about enjoying the experience, and then that's how I likes to roll, ya know? Well, like I said, we got to Mister Selin "I has pretty crystals" Fireheart when the shammy says "excuse me, I be right back." Except she didn't. Huh. We's puzzled, and hopefuls what nothing serious done happened. But after a while things was clearly not going forward, so we hadda bail and went and did a buncha dailies togehter. Some of them goes a lot faster with four buggers all hitting'em at once, I tells ya.

Anywho, that's what I's been up to lately. What's up with you?