Tuesday, December 6, 2011

This Be What You Tell A Dragon

Less than a page inta Blizz new "We explain what the fuhg is goin' on with outside content rather than put it in the glubbernuggin' game" story, Charge of the Aspects, and I's already disappoint. We's told what Nozdormu the Time Dude done sent a buncha lesser time dudes inta the past, onlies fer ta have it go FUBAR and only one done make back from the future (not the past). And then he dies. Whatevers. Sucks ta be him.

This here be Ysera's response when mopey Noz tells her what went down:

What do you say to a being who would do anything to protect the dragons of his flight, but now holds himself accountable for one of their deaths? she pondered. Her mind was a storm of fragmented thoughts. It was as if she were standing in a vast library ripped apart by a hurricane. Pages brimming with ideas and images whirled across her vision, but they were all parts of separate books.

You tell him fer ta MAN THE FUHG UP is what you tell him. Case he ain't noticed, we's in a war right now. A war caused by you and yer bosses, the titans, screwin' the pooch and lettin' one of yer own play with Old Gods. And now tens or mebbe hundreds of thousands of us mortals is dead. Not ta mentions the fact what Deathwing went an' drove a volcano through me livin' room!

I's made mistakes. I's killed allies. I's helped enemies. Is happens in war. You say "crap", you try fer ta learn sumthin' from it, and then ya moves on. What ya don't do is walk outta a damn important strategy meeting fer ta go self-pitify. Unless yer a dragon.

I guess they's special.


Khol Drake said...

Dragons are always a little behind the times. They still think it's cool to be emo.

Redbeard said...

And this is another reason why I won't buy the WoW books. They have this incredible vehicle for storytelling, yet they eschew that for chasing some bucks.