'Allo, mon. Dis here be Alayda, and I'm a shaman. People always askin' me, Alayda, how you hurl dem lightning bolts from yo fingertips? And I tells 'em, it be because I'm a washed-up former Starfleet Captain.
A while back da DangerMouse said we had a partnership where I supplies her with ore and leather, and she don't kill and eat me. Well, dat be her version of t'ings. But maybe I just be fattening her up a bit before I throws her into da stewpot. Hey Mouse! You t'ink of dat, girl? Just puttin' some meat on yo bones!
I likes Mouse, I really do. Life done gave dat girl a crapload of lemons, and she just got busy squeezin' out lemonade. Plus, she keeps everything all neat and tidy in our flat near da Crossroads. Before she moved in, t'ings was a mess - I was always digging t'rough piles of laundry and ice-cold milk jugs trying to find me totems and all. I be such a slob, mon. And Mouse bakes real good cookies too!
Thruth be, mon, I ain't dat ambitious. I don' enjoy da killings dat much, and I sho' ain't going to no Warsong Gulch. Me, I enjoys putting on my ghost wolf form, running across the countryside, listening to the spirits, feeling the wind in my hair. As long as I have an excuse to do dat, mon, I don' mind pausing to mine some ore or skin some zebrahs to help Mouse out.
Me, I liked Ratshag's plan of having everbody talk to da Elders to get the festive outfits. Dere ain't no troll Elders, 'cause we were all too busy perfecting da recipe for Gurubashi Cannibal Stew to be fighting da demons, so I was glad ta meet some new folks. And I like my festive dress - I t'ink it's nice to get out of dem dirty leathers and be pretty from time to time.
Speaking of looking nice, mon, have you noticed dat folks has been running da cities loving on the guards and giving dem presents and getting dey hearts broken? It's been crazy, I tell you. Especially in da Undercity, wit' dem abominations dey got dere. Well, it turned out dat dis crazy undead witch doctor was playing wit' da voodoo up in the Hillsbrad Hills, and spreading all these love potions. It turned out he was all upset 'cause his lady had died and stayed dat way. Well, I tracked him down and his lady's ghost and I convinced him to stay away from da voodoo. He had all dese sexy outfits he was planning to use for his next phase, and he said I could have one since he was all done doing evil plans.
And I took I red one and Mon! I looks hot in dat dress, I tell you. Just as sexy as dem pretty-pretty elf girls. And I ain't all needing ta eat some sandwiches, like some I could name.
So you wants to have some fun dancing with a sexy woman, you just come on by - I'm in a festive mood, mon! Just be careful if you decide to kiss me - wouldn't want to poke you in da eye with my tusk!