Blogging Solo

So I goes to me muse and I asks that green-eyed temptress what she's gonna inspire me to blog about today. And she sez, "You know Ratter, you've been doing this for over a year know. I bet you're ready to handle it without my inspirations."

Oh. So, no muse today. Just me. All right. Here it goes.



Today, I killed some buggers.
And drank beer.

....

The End.

Hi 2.5 Orcs!

Dammerung from Two and Half Orcs, one of the funnier buggers in this strange world of WoWblogging, sent me a letter the other day with greetings fer me and the other AC bloggers (even thems what had no clue who he be). A few of thems were around, so I passed his greetings on to them.

Is Where I Inspires a Fio Pun

Ya can hear some funny things, hanging around the AC HQ in Stormwind. Todays, I got there just in time to hear BRK's vehement defense of the olive and it's role in the creation and defense of civilization as we know it. Well, not orc civilization. We don't like olives. But I digresses. 'Cause then the discussion moved onto figs and they's issues. And then Fio punned off me. WoOt!Now, I don't pun worth crap, so I didn't even try to mix it up with the master. But laters in the evening I did find out he weren't the only punning druid in Azeroth:

Just 'Cause Yer A Twink ...

... Don't mean you ain't a melee huntard.

DangerMouse took this peek at one of her team mates in Whore's Thong Gulch the other day. Ain't there like a +25 AGI enchant fer two-handers?

'Course, I's just a simple orc what don't know nuthin' 'bout hunting.

Is Good to Know

Recentlies, the Boomstick-Lovin' Dwarf Chick were talking about how you can take yer pet out to them undead ghost sailors off the coast of the Wetlands and get'em turned into ghost theyselves to find out if they's a boy or girl. 'Cause apparentlies you can't tell fer sure using the regular methods. Which got me thinking. But I's glad to say, now that I've been out to them ships, that even though there be certain ananoto- ... anonano- ... annatonami- ... bugger it. Things ain't all the same size when I got me dwarf on. Still, it is confirmed that I is in fact, male.

The wimmenfolks of Azeroth can rest easy, knowing Ratter's still on the job.

I Can Haz a BoJ?

Still no reliable data on what the drop rate of BoJs is from the upcoming Shattered Sun Outland dailies. And the comments fer the Supplies reward boxes on wowhead has devolved into "You suck!" "No, you suck!", so no help there. I just wants to know is there any hope of picking up these or maybe even this before we heroes come then.

Humph. I feel so ... unsatisfied.

Yay on Them!

Aetherial Circle did fer Blind Leo's demonic arse tonight. WoOt! I expects there'll be details on some of them other blogs soonish, but I gots the scoop.

Some Hunters Is A Little Nuts

Don't mean I don't love'em, though.

This tasty piece of dwarf flesh be me new friend Triggy. Say hello, you buggers. She's smart, friendly, and laughs like a drunken chipmunk. And she ain't admitted it, but I can tell she's totally into me orcish virility - so awesomes it leaks through me dwarf disguise.

She and me been knocking out some quests in the Wetlands together. Fer us Hordies, Wetlands is just a big forgettable soggy piece of in-the-way between Hammerfall and Kargath, what you gots to walk across one time, then you can fly over after that. But them Alliance buggers live there, so they gotta deal with all them gnolls and oozes and dark Iron dwarves. And having a friend along who knows the terrain sure helps.

But on to the part where she's a little nuts. See that reddish-greenish legs and fangs thing beside her? That used to be Naraxis, a dang elusive bug. Triggy done spent seven hours in his cave in Duskwood, waiting fer him ta show his face. Great googly moogly. But he eventually turned up and she tamed his crunchy arse. And now she got herself the uniquestish spider in Azeroth (except maybes this other one - depends on yer definitions I figger). She also tamed that black lion what lurks around the Barrens, too. So good fer her. Even if she do be nuts.

But now that creepy bugger needs a name. Naraxnaphobia or sumthin'. Anybody gots any good ideas?

Well, This Be Fuhggin' Embarrassin'

So, I's got my dwarf on, and I's doing some questing in Ashenvale. Doing quests there is just like doing'em fer the Horde, only completely different. At least I ain't havin' ta open up every dang thing I kill to see if'n it ate Page 7 fer them Warsong Ninnies. Anywho, I get this quest to go do fer a bugger down in the Barrens, and I's thinking I's gonna have to fight me way through the Mor'shan Ramparts ta gets there. And that's gonna take some doings. After alls, it be a near-impenetrable barrier guarding the Horde's northern border.

But I got a job ta do, so I girds me loins and treks over there. And what do I finds? A great big fuhggin' hole in the wall, just to the east of the gate. When yer comin' up the road from the south it be hidden behind some trees, but fer them Nelfs and other scuzzy Alliance types coming down from the north it be plain as day. So much fer the great northern barrier wall. Is fuhggin' embarrassing.

I thought about runnin' over to the garrison and letting'em know about they's stupids, but ended up just sayin' "fuhggit" and climbed up Dreadmist Peak so's I could whack Mister Foulborne and get me pay.

L2 Priest

I's still learning to be a dwarf priest. At times it be all inconvenient-like.
But I has been finding some useful references. First off be a whole bunch of recommended talent specs at season 19, 29, 39, etc. over at WoWwiki.com. Includes variations fer PvE, PvP, and whatnots. Second good reference I picked up this week is a really impressives How to Melt Facesguide and flow chart fer shadow priests over at Dwarf Priest. Also has smites fer thems what insist on being holy. Is geared more fer endgame than leveling, but still most usefuls.

Edit: The Dwarf Priest were kind enough to gives me a link to a most impressive priest leveling guide she done put together a while back. So now me breakfast be complete.

Ratshag Rep Grind

So, teh Sqeaky Priest were asking me the other day how she could get enough Ratshag rep so's she could invite me and me amazing virility to come helps out with the tanking. Can't do it right now 'cause, well, I's an orc and she's a funny-smelling dwarf what can't talk proper.

Well, I did me some researches (and bribed me high-INT kid brother Gogmoth to helps with the mathifications) and here be the some total of what you needs to get to exalted with Faction Ratshag. It be a long, pain-in-the-arse rep grind, but I thinks we can all agree it be worth it.

To Neutral: 1074 Wolpertinger Horns (Alliance only - Hordies already starts at neutral)

To Friendly: 875 Gnomish Marriage Proposals
At Friendly, Alliance types learn basic orc communication, such as: "Axe", "Mommy", "Rep grinds is Da Poop!"

To Honored: 2358 troll hookahs , plus one set Throat Piercers for DangerMouse.
At Friendly, adventurers may purchase Rat Bicuits - restores 874 health over 27 seconds

To Revered: 1124 Murloc Cufflinks (gold, not silver! orcs is allergic to the silver)
At Revered, Alliance types learn advanced orc communication: "Wait fer the dang sunders, you stupid bugger!", "That S3 axe would go well with my weapon collection", "I am one tough hunkerglubber", "Rep grinds is Da Poop!"

To Exalted: 3846 pair Ogre Undies, 427 Naga Nighties, 1 Uther the Lightbringer's Garter Belt with Pink Roses.
At exalted, adventurers may purchase a really nifty tabard, bottles of Ratshag's Jungle Juice - makes you slightly tipsy and restores 4200 mana over 30 seconds
Alliance types may invtite Ratshag to run instances with thems afters they become exaltified.

Where does you go to find these items? Buggered if I knows - I can't be bothered to keep track of the details. But I does know that all faction reward items is purchasable from Ratshag Faction Quartermaster Boy Friday , who is usually loitering around the Orgrimmar mailbox.

Ratshag Sez Thankee

I received a real monster of a compliment yesterdays from some buggers I've met in me various adventures. Cain't really go into the details, and they don't impact the rest the rest of you anyhows, but I's got me a soapbox to stand on so I's gonna use it.

B, C, F: Thankee. Means a lot, it really do.

Ssuccesss!

Helllooo .... Thiss is DangerMouse.

As Ratss told you, I have been waiting in Tranquilien for the poisson vendor to get a shipment of Throat Piercerss. There were times she got a little testy with me hanging around, and ssugested I go see if Knucklerot had any to ssell me, but at other times sshe had no cusstomers for a while and got bored and then we would play checkerss. She said Tranquilien was much livelier when the Blood Elvess first joined the Horde.

But on the fifth day, sshe finally received a set, and I bought it from her immediately. Thiss woman has no businesss sense - sshe charged less than six silverss for them - I would have paid gold. But I have them now. Like Daddy always ssaid, "Good things come to those who-... those who-... those-... " Eyaarghh! It doessn't matter what he said. He's gone. And so will the resst of you be, ssoon enough. I have the knivess, that is what matters. And I will be putting them to good usse.
Embrace the Shadow,
DangerMouse

I Gets Invited to Raid SSC ...

... but there were a problem.

Ya see, I were in me dwarf costume, killin' raptors in the Wetlands, and the guild were short a tank fer the night's raid. Several options were discussed, includin' watching movies and braiding hair at TJ's place, when it were pointed out that they have another tough-as-all-hunkerglubbin tank in the guild. But like I said, there were this problem ...
And Teej? I'll have you know, I bathed just last month (fell inta the river around Halaa, you see).

DangerMouse Goes Shopping

Heard from DangerMouse the other day. Apparentlies she has decided she needs to have some Throat Piercers fer her WartStrong Gulch mayhemifications. She tells me that these is the best ranged weapons fer a low-level rogue, 'cause they nimblefies ya. I'd say she couldn't live without'em but ... heh ... heheh ... that'd be redundant. Anyways, the only merchant what sells nasties in all Azeroth be a vicious piece of elfflesh name of Eralan. She hangs out in Tranquilien, peddling poisons and other roguish stuff. Problem is, she only gets one set of these throwing knives at a time, and those be few and far between. So Mouse has set up camp behind the counter, waiting for the next delivery. Any luck there, Mouse?

"No. There have been no Throat Piercers. She did get a Sinisster Sscimitar once, which I think she showed to me jusst because the way I ssay esses amuses her, the bitch. But she'll die ssoon enough, and I bought it anyway and ssent it to Alayda to see how much she can get for it in Orgrimmar. I'll just wait here, as long as it takess. Unlike you, I'm not racing toward the grave, sso I can afford to be patient."

Well okay then. Lucks with that, DangerMouse.

"Embrace the Sshadow, Ratss."

No Wonder That's The Name of that Blog

We got us our first druid here at Team Ratshag. Palintera's still on probation - dunno if she's gonna make the cut yet. But meanwhiles, she just learned her bear form, and Holy Crap is it an amazing transmogrification. Dang near knocked me outta me chair.

Palintera's Dainty Elf Butt

Palintera's Big Bear Butt
(same scale and everythings!)

I can see now why Windshadow calls her blog what she do. Is jagnormous! And very hard to not notice.

Speakings of, grats to BBBB on his new site. Is looks nice. I shall update me bookmarks, soonish.

But I Is Teh Suck at Moon Crashing

26%

Don't Mess With Ratter ...

... 'specialies if yer a pack of 5-year-olds.

36

Thanks to Euripedes fer the site linkages.

Edit: Somes is complaining that they is being redirectified to a dating website when they tries to do this, which sucks (unless you need a date rilly rilly bad, I guess). So I makes no promises what you'll get if you try to test yer mettle against the kindergerdeners. I'm leaving it up, but You Have Been Warned.

A Good Excuse To Start Fishing Again

Ain't been doing much fishing lately, but I just saw this in the list of stuff what be coming with Patch 2.4. Is might be a reward from the fishing dailies. Sounds good to me!

Ratshag. Now with Sig.

An Angry Banside (is pronounced "banshee", I's been told) recently added a "request a sig" page to her site, where you can request she make a custom sig from a pic of yerself. Now, I's seen her work and it be top-shelf creative, and since I's free from any false modesties I know I looks incredibly virile, so I figured the combination would produce something worth jumping on with both feet. So I signed up with no wastages of time, and a most reasonable soonish after I got her finished production. And I is dang pleased with it.

The Ratshag Sig. Coming soons to a BBS near you.

Is Where Ellspeth Got Her Heart Brokified

"Raaaat-teeeer.... would you please kill someone for me? And make it ... slow. And painful."

"Maybes. Who's the unlucky nubberglumper, Ellspeth?

"Well, I don't really know his name. But he's an Orgrimmar Grunt. And you'll be able to know it's him because he's the most handsome man in the world, and I bared my soul to him, and I want to go to a deserted tropical island, just the two of us, and be happy together forever. But he said I really wasn't his type. So I want you to rip the bastard's entrails out and feed them to my turtle!"

"Umm ... kid ... you been puttin' on that funny perfume the innkeepers have been selling lately?"

"Yes! And I even gave him a Love Token, which cost me a whole ten coppers! And all I wanted in return was his undying love, or at least his adoration and a Lovely Black Dress. And then he spurned me! And now I know I'll never love this way again, at least not for another ... forty-two minutes! So would you please kill him for me?"

"I don't think killin' city guards be such a good idea, kid. How about I just give ya this here Friendship Bracelet instead?"

Great googly moogly. This whole love in the air thing can get pretty outta hand. You be carefuls out there.

Is Battleground Humor

Somedays I feel just like this Booty Bay Bugger ....

Alayda is Festive

'Allo, mon. Dis here be Alayda, and I'm a shaman. People always askin' me, Alayda, how you hurl dem lightning bolts from yo fingertips? And I tells 'em, it be because I'm a washed-up former Starfleet Captain.

Ahhhh-hahahahahaha.

A while back da DangerMouse said we had a partnership where I supplies her with ore and leather, and she don't kill and eat me. Well, dat be her version of t'ings. But maybe I just be fattening her up a bit before I throws her into da stewpot. Hey Mouse! You t'ink of dat, girl? Just puttin' some meat on yo bones!

Ahhh-hahahahha.

I likes Mouse, I really do. Life done gave dat girl a crapload of lemons, and she just got busy squeezin' out lemonade. Plus, she keeps everything all neat and tidy in our flat near da Crossroads. Before she moved in, t'ings was a mess - I was always digging t'rough piles of laundry and ice-cold milk jugs trying to find me totems and all. I be such a slob, mon. And Mouse bakes real good cookies too!

Thruth be, mon, I ain't dat ambitious. I don' enjoy da killings dat much, and I sho' ain't going to no Warsong Gulch. Me, I enjoys putting on my ghost wolf form, running across the countryside, listening to the spirits, feeling the wind in my hair. As long as I have an excuse to do dat, mon, I don' mind pausing to mine some ore or skin some zebrahs to help Mouse out.

Me, I liked Ratshag's plan of having everbody talk to da Elders to get the festive outfits. Dere ain't no troll Elders, 'cause we were all too busy perfecting da recipe for Gurubashi Cannibal Stew to be fighting da demons, so I was glad ta meet some new folks. And I like my festive dress - I t'ink it's nice to get out of dem dirty leathers and be pretty from time to time.

Speaking of looking nice, mon, have you noticed dat folks has been running da cities loving on the guards and giving dem presents and getting dey hearts broken? It's been crazy, I tell you. Especially in da Undercity, wit' dem abominations dey got dere. Well, it turned out dat dis crazy undead witch doctor was playing wit' da voodoo up in the Hillsbrad Hills, and spreading all these love potions. It turned out he was all upset 'cause his lady had died and stayed dat way. Well, I tracked him down and his lady's ghost and I convinced him to stay away from da voodoo. He had all dese sexy outfits he was planning to use for his next phase, and he said I could have one since he was all done doing evil plans.

And I took I red one and Mon! I looks hot in dat dress, I tell you. Just as sexy as dem pretty-pretty elf girls. And I ain't all needing ta eat some sandwiches, like some I could name.

So you wants to have some fun dancing with a sexy woman, you just come on by - I'm in a festive mood, mon! Just be careful if you decide to kiss me - wouldn't want to poke you in da eye with my tusk!

Ahhhh-hahahahahaha.
Bye-bye now!

Me Journey to the Clown Side is Now Complete

Helm of the Fashion-Challenged Defender. Bugger, I knews it were gonna look ugly, but great googly moogly! Is a good thing I can invisify it, since is a good helmet fer tanking (slapped the Solid Stars in it) as well as fer PvP and I's gonna be wearing it a lot.

Took a while to find one. None at the AH, and even though I's had the mats fer over a month, doing the "LF blacksmith" thing on the AH just got me crickets chirping. Today I finally found a guy what had the plans and a nether to sell, so I paid him ta bang it out fer me.

Bugger, it's ugly. And it disappearifies me beard! Fuhggit.

Safety First!

The Assault-and-Mana Battery Bitch just sent me this linkage fer how to be safe when you's sharing a very special moment with that tasty piece of feral druidflesh. I strongly recommends you check it out.

Thanks fer looking out for us all, Bitch!

Wait! What was that?

Apparentlies, there's gonna be at least a coupla daily quests soon fer this new faction called the Shattered Sun Offensive what you get a Shattered Suns Supplies box as a reward. Now, usually these kinda supply kits have some milk and crackers or other "nice, but no big deal" stuff in'em. But this one has a chance to include a Badge of Justice. Whoa. For those of us what ain't got a guild and really, really hate PUGs, this could be A Really Big Deal. As of yet, there is no hard informations on how often there'll be a BoJ in yer box, so I shall be watching this closely.

Ellspeth is Festive

Hi everybody! This is Ellspeth!

As my friend DangerMouse already said, Rats wants us to all get decked out in Lunar Festival outfits. Well, okay, she's not really my friend. She's just this creepy dead girl who comes to the team meetings, but the Boss says I have to be nice to her and not, you know, finish the job. Although she does bake pretty good cookies...

Well, anyway, the deal is you need to go talk to five Elders and they each give you a coin, and then you can portal to Moonglade from any capital city and turn in the coins and they give you a pretty dress! Which would be great except for this one small problem. You see, some of the elders are Night Elves, or the spirits of night elves, or something. And, well, Night Elves, they look at me like I'm some kind of mutated magic-junkie freak. Completely glossing over the fact that they're nothing but mutated moon-junkie trolls themselves! Sometimes, I just wish I could shadowbolt the whole world tree down, and dot up every one of those blue-skinned purer-than-thou retards as they fall out of the branches so that they die screaming before they hit the ocean!

Ratshag says he understands my pain, but could I please be a little more festive. Okay.

So, I really wasn't in the mood to go talk to these guys for the coins. Fortuantely, Rat's younger brother Gogmoth is a tailor, and he knows how to make the red festive dress, which I figured would look smoking hot on me. So I bought Gog some runecloth and what all, and asked him to stitch one up for me. At first he was all "Rat says not to make the dresses - everyone's got to go earn their own", which made no sense - why bother getting the pattern? So I argued and I used logic and I pleaded, but none of it worked until I worked my feminine wiles on him. It's amazing how fast some guys can become agreeable when all you do is flash your boo-

Rats are you okay? You're choking!

You're sure, hun? ... Okay.

So, where was I? Oh, yes. Gogmoth made this lovely Festive Dress for me, which I just had to try on right away. And that was so fun and festive, that I went and tried on some of the other outfits I had stuffed away in my closet. Don't I look pretty? Hard to believe I was melting faces off of ogres the day before. Okay, the oompah band one is kinda silly. But I like the purple hat, and Rat's already talked about how that nipple chain can come in handy.




Well, that's all for now.
Tootles!

Patch 2.4 Notes

The following items will become BoE:

Faceguard of the Endless Watch
Topaz-Studded Battlegrips
Black-Iron Battlecloack
Ethereum Nexus-Reaver
Ring of Reciprocity
Ripfiend Shoulderplates

And a buncha less important stuff. If ya wants to know what else, go visits a blog written by some bugger what can be bothered to remember the details.

Gnome Racing Porn

So there we was. Several hundred gnomes, most of us freezin' our fannies off as we stood starkers in the snow. I'd hit up a mage to transmogrificate meself and a goofy young Tauren friend from me guild. As a gnome I were calling meself "Ratgnome" and she were going by "RaceWinner". A bit optimistic there, but whatevers.

We was all fired up fer the Great Race, from Coldridge Valley to Menthanol Harbor. Why was we doing this? Buggered if I know - I can't be bothered ta keep track of the details. I just know we was gonna run.

The famous cat Hobbes and his dwarven minion were theres to be the celebrity race starter.

There we all is, hanging out while we waits fer the start. I'm the short one.

"Let's get this show on the road!"

And we's off. Listen to the thunder of lots and lots of tiny feet.

The more experienced racers were eager to share they's words of wisdom.

"I like livin dangerous"

Wolves attacking? "INCONCEIVABLE!"

For a bits we had a belf rogue in the midst, picking off any gnomes what had flagged theyselves.

Through the pass to Loch Modan! I's made it this far okay.

Lots and lots of cute little gnaked gnomies.

We all leveled up about the same point, just as we got down outta the pass into the Wetlands. It were like watching a fireworks show or sumthins.

Despites our new second season uber-ness, them Wetlands were a killing field.

I's startin' ta feel oozy.

Bugger, I's dead, and me corpse be way back there. Run, run, run. Hey lookies! It's me racing partner! Hows come she didn't get deadified?

Another casualty. I'd been keeping up with the pack, but once I started deadifying I were in the back with the other stragglers.

You can sees on the map just how far behind me partner I got.

Yay! I can sees the endinging point!

Is the post-race celebrating.

And the more celebrating.

Somebody thought it woulds be a good idea ta summon a Doomguard. Didn't see it happen, so I makes no accusations as ta who did it. Anyhows, we little gnomies had great funs pretending it we could hurt it. I hads ta leave soon afters, so I missed the portals to Shattrath, but I expects the funs continued well inta the night.